My Best Friend Emily

This story is a fantasy that came completely out of my dirty little mind. Any similarities to anyone you know or anything you have ever seen or heard is a complete accident, but ultimately inevitable.

*****

I woke up that morning thinking that my life was perfect. I was 30 years old, happily married to a beautiful wife, and had a great job and a wonderful home. I had everything I thought I wanted. I had no idea that by the end of the day my life would be turned completely upside down.

Unlike my wife I was an early riser, even on a Saturday morning. I was out of bed at 6:30, camped out in the living room with a bowl of cereal and watching ESPN. The sun was shining and the birds were singing.

Around 9 my wife shuffled in. Even 9am was early for her if she didn't need to get up. At first glance Lisa was everything I was looking for in a woman. She was 5'9" and 140 pounds of curves and womanly flesh. She wasn't skinny, but she wasn't fat, not by a long shot. She was curvy, shapely, and proportional. She had long brown hair and glasses, which were two things that always caught my eye for some reason. She was intelligent too. We met in college. We ended up living on the same floor of our dorm in our sophomore year, and we were just kind of drawn to each other. We hung out with our dorm mates, then we hung out alone, then we were a couple. Then we were engaged. After we graduated we got married.

The biggest debate of our relationship was where we would live. Lisa was more of a city person and wanted to get an apartment downtown. I had a business degree and was working as a financial advisor, and I was a big advocate of homeownership over renting. Accruing equity, and all that. Besides, it was 2008, the housing market was collapsing, and prices were plummeting. I pushed for a house in the suburbs. Somehow, I won. We found a nice three bedroom ranch on a quiet street at the edge of town. It was brand new. The builder was desperate to unload it, and we got a great deal. Our house was going to be one of a street full of houses, but the builder stopped building due to lack of demand, and six years later ours was still the only house on the street.

The sight of my sexy wife looking disheveled in her nightgown turned me on. I had seen SportCenter all the way through twice already. Would she be up for morning sex? Sometimes she'd come looking for me to invite me back to bed to snuggle and maybe more. Sometimes.

"Joe," Lisa said, "Don't forget you promised to get me topsoil for my garden."

I groaned. Lately Lisa had been talking about starting a garden. At least after six years she was finally taking an interest in the house, I thought to myself. It was just that even though I had a dream of homeownership I didn't really care about what it looked like, especially since we didn't have any neighbors to impress. So who cared about flowers? I mowed the grass every Sunday, and to me that was enough. I was allergic to flowers, anyway. It was probably just going to make me sneeze more. Still, I tried to look on the bright side. The more flowers that Lisa planted meant the less grass that I had to mow. I put on my best happy husband face. "Sure, honey," I said.

"Thanks," Lisa said. She was still half awake. She turned to go back to bed.

"Oh, by the way," I said as she headed back to the bedroom, "Emily is coming over later to watch the game."

I saw Lisa freeze in her tracks. Then she walked stiffly toward the bedroom without another word. You see, Emily is my best friend since middle school. She's basically the exact opposite of Lisa. Emily is a petite 5'4", a spunky tomboy with short blonde hair and a lot of energy. We grew up together but didn't really hit it off until we sat across from each other in Social Studies in eighth grade. I had recently discovered that I had a sense of humor and one day I spent most of the class cracking Emily up. I finally drew the ire of the teacher who singled me out for detention, which made Emily laugh harder than anything. After that day we were inseparable. We would go over to each other's houses to play video games, watch ballgames, and trade baseball cards. Basically anything you'd expect best friends to do.

Why didn't I end up with Emily, you're wondering. I know you are. I used to wonder about it too before I met Lisa. The short answer was that Emily was completely boy crazy. Every week it was a different boy. She'd have a crush on Mike one week. All she would talk about was Mike. Mike Mike Mike. Then she'd get bored and move on to Tony. Tony's so cute. Tony's so funny. Tony Tony Tony. Then she'd lose interest in Tony. And so on. After a couple of years of it I just got completely numb to it all. It was never "Joe's so cute, Joe's so funny," and I grudgingly accepted that we would always be friends. It's not like I didn't get my share of attention in high school. I was tall and lean, 5'11" and 160 pounds, not muscular but sinewy. I found that I cared a lot less about who Emily was interested in when I had a love interest of my own, and that's how it went.

I stayed local and went to a state college, got my degree after four years and started my career. Emily took six years to get a bachelors degree in marketing after flunking out of two colleges, one on the east coast, and one on the west coast. She was more out to experience everything life had to offer than get an education. She finally finished up at the same state school I graduated from, but I had already graduated and married Lisa by the time she enrolled there. I kept expecting Emily to run off to London or Paris and live the bohemian life, but to my surprise she stayed local, and more or less single. I was happy that Emily stayed around, but Emily's constant presence bothered Lisa. I never thought that Lisa would be the jealous type, but it was obvious she didn't like to have Emily around. We had a lot of "discussions" about it. Emily's my friend, I would say, and you're my wife. I love you. You have nothing to worry about. Somehow it never seemed to make Lisa feel better.

I threw on jeans and a t-shirt and went out to Home Depot. I came back with two of those huge bags of topsoil. I dragged them unceremoniously into the garage and left them there, next to the packages of flower seeds that Lisa bought weeks ago. By now Lisa was fully awake; her long brown hair brushed and tied back in a pony tail. She was sitting at the kitchen table eating her healthy woman's whatever cereal, and sipping coffee. She was wearing an old t-shirt and Capri's. "Morning, honey," I said as I bent to kiss her cheek. Lisa ignored me, continuing to stare at whatever she was reading on her iPad.

"What time is the game?" Lisa asked with an air of practiced indifference. The real question was "When is Emily coming over?"

"It's at 3 today," I said, "The Cards are on the West Coast..."

Lisa cut me off. She didn't care much for sports. "Do you think you can spread that topsoil on the garden before then?" She asked.

I groaned. "That'll be a lot of work, honey," I said. It was May so it wouldn't be too hot, but I was still dreading it. Who cares about a bunch of stupid flowers anyway?

"Why are you giving me a hard time?" Lisa snapped. "You were the one who wanted a house in the suburbs."

I took a deep breath. She was right, after all. "I know," I said, "I just hate yard work."

Lisa looked off to the side. "He hates yard work yet he talks me into buying a quarter of an acre full of dirt and weeds," she mumbled. Lisa was a big Tolkien fan, and she mumbled to herself a lot. I was half expecting her to start adding 'my precious' to the end of her sentences one of these days. "You know you have to break up the ground underneath too, right?"

"Ugh, Lisa!" I shouted. "Can't we just hire someone to do the work for us?"

Lisa looked off to the side again, and for a moment I thought she was going to start talking to herself again. Instead her expression softened, and she stood up to face me. "If you do this for me," she said in her best seductive voice, "Then later on I'll do anything you want."

I gulped. "Anything?" I asked.

"After watching you toil in the hot sun," Lisa cooed, "Those big arms straining, sweat pouring off your brow. You're going to make me so hot watching you work." Lisa grabbed my face and kissed me, her tongue pushing past my lips. She pressed herself against me, her full C cup breasts crushed against my chest. Then all at once she pulled away. "Once all the work is done, I'll be all yours," Lisa added as she sat back down and went back to her reading.

I stood there, erection raging, breathing heavy, and contemplating trying to drag Lisa back into the bedroom right then. Lisa on the other hand was spooning cereal into her mouth like nothing had happened. I resolved to go get the work done before Emily arrived, and left Lisa alone.

Within ten minutes I had the shovel, the rake, and the hoe all out along with the bags of topsoil and set about breaking up the ground that Lisa had designated would become her garden. It was about a 20 foot by 20 foot plot of land in the middle of the yard. Breaking up the ground wasn't that hard, really. There was a lot of rain that spring so the ground wasn't too difficult to break up. It was still slow going, though, especially for somebody who didn't really know what he was doing. I was pounding at the ground with the shovel, breaking up the dirt and throwing any rocks clear. After about fifteen minutes I realized Lisa's sinister plan must have been that I'd be so exhausted after all the work that I wouldn't be interested in sex anyway.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea. It's not like Lisa and I had a lousy sex life. It was just, well, monotonous. We would have sex two or three times a week, and it was always your typical one and done missionary sex. We would squeeze it in when nobody's favorite show was on or during halftime or right before bed. Lisa seemed very content with our sex life. She may have seemed frigid or prudish to most people, but she was actually a sexual dynamo who never failed to orgasm at least once when we had sex, and usually two or three times. She was obviously quite satisfied but I craved more... experimentation. Different positions. Different rooms of the house. Different scenarios. Anything. If I came onto her in the living room and she was in the mood she'd run to the bedroom. If I tried to initiate shower sex she'd towel off and flop down on the bed. Food? Bondage? Role playing? She shot all of those ideas down cold. Once, in a pique of frustration I offered to ask Emily if she'd like to join us in a threesome. Lisa didn't speak to me for days after that.

I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I turned to the internet to indulge in my perversions. In the mornings when Lisa was still asleep I would sneak off with my laptop and seek out websites that featured my various kinks and jerk off to stories and videos. I think I was able to keep it all secret from Lisa, which made me guilty. We agreed not to keep secrets from each other, and here I was, jerking off to perverse porn while she was sleeping in the next room. Sometimes I felt like I was living a secret life. I wondered if it would all catch up to me someday.

"Hola, Jose!" Shouted a familiar voice, and I turned to see Emily standing on the patio. I ended up doing a double take. She wasn't dressed like a tomboy today. She was wearing a yellow floral print sundress that covered far less of her than I was used to. It was short-sleeved and low cut and only went about halfway down her thigh. Emily was anything but modest, but she never bothered to show off her body, at least around me. A breeze blew across my yard and the dress fluttered up against her, showing every curve of her petite body.

"Hey yourself," I finally replied, pausing to stare at her.

"You got stuck on yard duty today?" Emily asked. "What?" She added when she realized I was staring at her.

"Nothing," I said, "I just wasn't expecting your Sunday best."

"Oh, this old thing?" Emily said in her best southern drawl, and did a pirouette, causing her short blonde hair and the hem of her dress to go flying around her. "This was the only clean outfit left in my closet."

"I figured," I said, "Either that or you had a hot date later."

"No, no hot date," Emily sighed. "So when do you get off work?"

"When I get the garden ready for planting," I said. I paused to look around. I had done... something... to most of the area. I had broken up the dirt and moved away rocks, at least. I pulled my cap off my head and ran my other hand through my sweaty, wavy brown hair.

"I hope you're getting paid well for this," Emily said.

"Well, supposedly..." I said, and let the meaning hang in the air.

Emily was never one to miss innuendo. "Really?" Emily said, and she hopped down off the deck to move closer to me. I idly wondered where Lisa was at the moment. "What is she offering?" Emily said when she was close enough to speak softly. "A BJ?"

"She said 'anything,'" I replied while raising my eyebrows.

"Wow, anything," Emily said, "You really hit the jackpot."

"I know, right?" I said flippantly. Emily and I talked pretty openly about my sex life, and she knew how frustrated I was. Emily wasn't as forthcoming about her sex life, but I was sure with the endless parade of men in her life that it was much more exciting than mine.

"Well, I'd lend you a hand," Emily said, "But luckily I didn't come dressed for manual labor, so instead I'll just go sit over there and watch you work." With that, Emily turned and all but skipped back onto the deck and sat down in one of the patio chairs.

I spent another ten or fifteen minutes chopping away at the dirt with the shovel and the hoe. My arms were aching with the effort and my back was aching from being hunched over. I decided that I was done, and I started to walk back toward the deck, pulling at my sweat-soaked t-shirt as I did.

"Woo-hoo!" Emily shouted. She had been watching me so quietly I almost forgot she was there. "Take it off, baby!"

I stopped in my tracks and looked at Emily. Then I grinned. "You wanna see more of this?" I asked her.

"Take it off, baby!" Emily shouted again.

I started gyrating like I imagined a male stripper would, but probably looked like an ass. I took my cap and flung it aside. I grabbed my sweat-sodden shirt with both hands and slowly pulled it up and over my head, swinging it in the air and flinging it in Emily's direction.

"Yeah, baby!" Emily shouted. "Come here and get your dollar bill." She rummaged through her purse and started waving a bill in the air.

I half-walked and half-danced my way up onto the deck and over to Emily. I probably should have been thinking about where my wife was at that moment, but I was too busy having fun with my best friend.

"Shake it, baby!" Emily said. She was laughing so hard she could barely get the words out. I reached her and playfully grabbed for the dollar bill. Emily pulled it out of my reach. "Not so fast," Emily said, and she surprised me by leaning forward to slide it into the waistband of my jeans, just above my crotch. I felt her hand graze my stomach, and my cock twitched. "Make that dollar shake, baby!" Emily shouted.

Trying to shake off the sensation of Emily touching me, I gyrated as best I could, shaking my hips side to side and back and forth. Emily surprised me again by standing and moving in closer to me. Suddenly the scent of the shampoo in her short blonde hair was right below my nose, and the fabric of her sundress, not to mention her body right beneath it, was pressed up against my bare chest. Suddenly I wasn't having fun with my best friend anymore. I was rubbing up against a woman that I'd had a crush on for half of my life. I felt myself getting hard. Embarrassed, I stepped away from Emily. I glanced at her, and saw something in her expression that I had never seen before. I tried to place it, but before my mind could figure it out I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

Crap. It was Lisa. How long had she been standing there? Lisa was a difficult person to read at the best of times. This wasn't the best of times. She was pissed.

Emily must have known Lisa was there by my reaction. She must have. "Do you need another dollar, stud?" She said, and made a show of turning around to get her purse. "Oh, hi Lisa," she said.

I glared at Emily. She was my best friend and I loved her to death, but she had a big mouth and sometimes she didn't know when to stop. I could see my night of 'anything' with Lisa evaporating before my eyes.

One thing Lisa always struggled with was my sense of humor, even more so when Emily and I were together. Emily and I had sarcastic senses of humor and lots of inside jokes that nobody else would ever understand, not even my wife. She laughed at what she understood and I appreciated it, but there was a lot that was simply beyond her grasp. Needless to say, this wasn't going to be funny to her. What saved me right then, though, was that Lisa was somewhat jealous of the relationship I had with Emily, and knew that in Emily's eyes she was uptight. Lisa always made an effort to pretend that things that Emily said and did didn't bother her. So instead of freaking out Lisa took a deep breath and mumbled, "They strip and dance in the yard like nobody can see them."

"What's up, Gollum?" Emily quipped without missing a beat.

I saw Lisa's eyes narrow. She knew that it wasn't an endearing nickname. I felt a rush of anger towards Emily. Why was she so intent on pushing Lisa's buttons today?

Lisa was unable or unwilling to take the bait, though. She ended up walking past both of us and over to the patch of dirt. "You did a pretty good job breaking up all this dirt, honey," Lisa said. I did a bit of a double take. Lisa never used pet names for me. She was marking her territory. Maybe she knew what she was doing, after all. "Are you going to spread the topsoil now?"

"Umm, sure," I said, reaching down and picking up my shirt where I'd tossed it onto the deck. "Just let me go inside and get a drink first." My shirt was damp enough from sweat to wring out, but I put it back on anyway. Remaining shirtless just then would've been a bad idea. I was sure of it. I slid open the patio door and went inside. Emily followed me. Lisa stayed outside.

I rounded on Emily as soon as I reached the kitchen. "Are you trying to get me killed?" I whispered harshly.

"Settle down, Beavis," Emily said. "I'll set everything right. You'll still get your night of 'anything,' I promise." She winked at me.

"Gee thanks," I said, and I proceeded to drink about a half a gallon of water. Boy was I thirsty. Breaking rocks in the hot sun, and all that.

Emily had been peeking out of the kitchen window towards the yard, I guess to verify that Lisa was still out there and not about to come inside. "Can I ask you a question?" She asked.

"You're going to start asking for permission? At this point in our lives?" I asked.

"Right," Emily said. "What did you ever see in that woman?" She asked in a whisper, pointing emphatically out at the yard.

I was taken aback. Emily could be blunt, but she never questioned my marriage before. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, she's not into sports, she's not into... anything else you are... she's boring in the sack... she's a damned weirdo," Emily said, ticking off the reasons on her fingers, "Was it any different when you met?"

"It's not that bad," I snapped. I felt like a caged animal. Why was Emily doing this right then? "When we met we would have these long conversations. We had a lot of the same views on life. We were physically attracted to each other. Our relationship grew out of mutual respect and affection...," I tailed off. I had run out of gas. How did I end up with Lisa anyway? Eight years later and the best recollection I had was 'it just sort of happened.'