Lynn and Leif Forevermore Ch. 48

***

The night on the town was in nearby Mexico on the border to California. They were going to Tijuana. Even though it was his last adventure as a single man, he missed Lynne. He texted her a few times and sent her pictures of the road signs on the way. He knew she'd never been to Tijuana. He couldn't wait to take his baby back with him. That was how he knew he was mad for his Lynne! He couldn't even travel without thinking about her, and when he would take her back to see the sights he was seeing.

When he was growing up, he and his friends would always jaunt over to Tijuana for a wild time. Back then wild times included flirting and trying to pick up women. But now, Leif was looking forward to drinking, maybe doing a little dancing, and a few crazy pranks. Leif knew they had something up their sleeve. He just wasn't sure what it was.

The first Bar they went in that evening, right as the sun was setting was in an out of the way place. They didn't see too many tourists yet, even though it was on the tourist strip. They started off with one Mexican beer apiece. They were playing Cantos on an older sound system.

Next they decided on something a little stronger and more daring than beer. Out came another waitress with tequilas on hand which she displayed for the group. This woman was clearly pretty with long dark hair, and exotic eyes, but Leif only had eyes for Lynne. Besides, she was no Lynne, his beautiful adorable cutie, who had him hot, aching and captivated even from all the way across the US border. So, when the waitress made small talk with Leif and flirted with him as his friends kept introducing him as a groom having his bachelor party, Leif didn't make much eye contact with her at all.

He didn't want to flirt anymore. It wasn't his scene. He'd made a quick study of the way his sexy little Lynne would divert attention away from the men trying to flirt with her after her sets, and he employed the same tactics, putting space between himself and the waitress, and not making a lot of eye contact. He was friendly but he didn't smile a lot.

The waitress kept teasing him, calling him shy, and filling his tequila glass. She playfully mentioned that they had someone who could loosen him up. They brought back several singing waitresses, and when they got closer to Leif, he noticed that they were not wearing any tops.

"What the hell are they wearing?" said Leif.

"It's not what they're wearing, it's what they aren't wearing, hell yeah," said Tanner, one of Leif's groomsmen, a buddy who had been in one of his early bands in High School.

"No way Bro. I said no naked chicks, and I meant that shit!" said Leif.

He was a little upset, and he got up from the table and accidentally knocked over his chair.

He stormed out of the little bar.

Matthew was right behind him.

"Hey Brother, I didn't know. I promise. I took you seriously when you said not even a topless bar. I don't know what the others, Andy and Tanner might have said when we walked in the club," said Matthew.

He leaned against the wall outside, smoking a cigarette, while Leif paced back and forth in front of the Bar.

"Yeah man, I believe you...but what are you gonna do with those screwballs in there. You're supposed to be my best man. I don't think we need to have naked chicks to have a good time. Those shits in there...damn they have me almost lying to Lynne. I said no naked chicks, and if she's off somewhere having beers and there are naked guys prancing around, I'd be furious!" said Leif.

"Hell yeah, I know you would. Look. I'll go in there and get those douche bags. I'll give it to them straight. Tell them no naked chicks or they can hit the road. I've got some fun shit I planned for you," said Matthew taking out his iPhone.

Matthew looked very serious, and miffed. Leif could tell that Matthew cared about the new, better man he had become for Lynne, and that sincerity moved him, but it was still weird to act too emotional around his boy.

"Thanks Bro," said Leif behind his hand.

Now he was off bothering Lynne with a text message again, telling him they were singing Mexican cantos, but not nearly as good as she had that first evening with his parents when they took her to the Mexican restaurant during the first visit. He didn't tell her about the topless women. He'd tell her later, and that he left immediately. He didn't want to upset Lynne, but he never wanted to keep things from her. Later on, after they returned to New York from wedding fun and the honeymoon and it was the right time, he'd tell her. It was only a split second and he felt horribly guilty. He was sure she may have had a similar experience along the line. He'd never lie to Lynney.

She'd probably call them all stupid knuckle heads once she realized Leif did not want to be involved. Matthew came out of the bar with Andrew and Tanner in tow. They didn't apologize, just nodded, and said, that they got it, it was his bachelor party, and if he really didn't want naked girls, he didn't want naked girls.

What Leif did want, he assured them, was to get totally wasted! Now for this, they had him covered!

They found another, older, more run down bar. This bar was a much more authentic bar, with greasy placemats, disgusting looking table favors, peanuts that looked like they'd sat on the bar for years, Leif swore he saw a little dust, but the bottle of tequila they pulled from behind the bar looked like a real man's tequila.

Looked like it would burn off all their chest hairs.

Now this was what he'd wanted! A drink that would christen him like a real man as he said goodbye to bachelorhood. This looked like the kind of drink that his little Lynney would sip and probably be ready to pass out, and she loved to drink. Damn! There was that thought again. He knew he should be marrying her, because he missed her so much when she was not around.

They poured him a wickedly huge shot of Tequila, and Leif gulped it down whole, and boy did it burn, but he tried not to act like it burned as his boys chided him.

"Here you try this shit," said Leif pouring Matthew a huge glass.

Matthew could hardly sip the shit without gagging, and Leif bragged, beat his chest and stuck out his shoulders, declaring how tequila separates true men from boys.

They had a few more drinks, and then the bartender offered the worm, for whichever one was brave enough to eat the worm. Leif of course volunteered to eat the worm, chewed it down whole while his boys chanted and filmed his escapade, probably to put up on Facebook.

"She'll never kiss you after she see's that shit," said Andy, referring to Lynne.

Matthew thanked the bartender and gave him a nice tip, and they went driving off to an out of the way beach. Leif was getting a little bit wasted so it took him a while to realize that they were going to a beach. His boys assured him it was not a tourist trap beach, and he should be glad, and they plied him with some brownies.

After a few chews, Leif could tell they were pot brownies, and he felt increasingly fuzzed up and out of control but not in a bad way.

"Say man, where are we going?" asked Leif.

But his boys kept telling him, not to worry, not to worry.

They finally pulled up in front of the beach, and Leif kept thinking it was gorgeous, and secluded and it was wasted on these idiots, and not on his cute little Lynne.

He'd love to see her frolicking about in a little bikini flitting in and out of the water and giggling as the surf licked her cute toes. What the fuck was wrong with him? He couldn't stop thinking of her, and wondered if Lynney was struggling with her girlfriends in the same way.

They spread out a blanket close to the surf, and the drinking games begin, along with more devouring of the pot brownies.

As it got toward the evening, the traffic to the beach started picking up, filled with Mexican locals, apparently enjoying the beautiful secluded beach after their long days at work.

"So...you didn't want naked girls. So you're gonna have naked dudes," said Matthew with a snicker.

Leif turned bright red.

He started to shout something angrily, but Matthew threw a crazy looking mankini in his lap.

"That's your dare!" said Matthew with a roguish chuckle.

"OH hell no I'm not wearing that shit on the beach bro!" said Leif.

It was truly a mankini. It was v shaped and only covered his nipples, the smattering of his crotch, and literally just the crack of his ass.

"You're gonna give Lynne something to remember her bachelorette party by. Well, actually we all are! That's the dare. All of us are. Since they'll be no chip and dales for Lynne's girls, and we know you aren't having the naked girls. Maybe we'll get lucky enough and the girls will dare her whole bachelorette party to wear some crazy shit for you," said Matthew.

Leif chuckled.

But he was a good sport.

He was willing to wear the mankini, but only if his boys would make fools of themselves as well. Matthew must have already guessed this, because he passed out mankinis for the rest of his friends. He'd gotten mankinis for all of them, including himself.

"Hey! I'm not wearing that shit by myself. All for one, and one for all. You're either all gonna get down to your skivvies and wear these crazy ass mankini jumpsuits, or I'm not doing that shit. I'll break all your faces if you leave me the only one wearing this crazy ass shit," said Leif, laughing to himself about how much crazy ass shit sounded like his Lynne.

"We're not gonna leave you to yourself wearing the shit, Bro, we promise you," said Andy.

"What about the locals. I don't want to be disrespectful..." said Leif.

"Leif, you think they haven't seen white guys make fools of themselves before," said Matthew with a chuckle.

"Man, I feel silly putting on this shit," said Leif in the swimsuit changing area.

"Not as silly as you're gonna feel wearing those tuxedo bikini brief's granny LaReaux gave you. I bet Lynne can't wait to see your ass looking like a fucking stripper. Disgusting," spat Matthew.

"Oh Please, I'll look better in that shit than your skinny ass, and crooked knees," teased Leif.

They'd given Leif the lime green mankini. He had a chuckling fit when he caught a glance at himself in the mirror. There were reasons that mankinis were so hilarious and were a pop culture spoof.

First of all he was blonde, hairy and tan, so the lime green clashed with him in every way. Next, the hair stuck out between the v-neck, which would have been a demure demonstration of Lynne's cleavage but just showcased how his pecks were struggling to fit in the mankini.

The waist, which would have been a sleek silhouette on Lynne's feminine body was barrel shaped with his thick shoulders which tapered down to his masculine, square hips. And the back, the back was just sad.

"I look better than your ass though," said Leif looking at their silhouettes in the mirror as red headed Andy, and blonde headed tanner Flanked him on both sides.

"Christ he does look better than you Andy. Shit you are so pale!" said Matthew.

They were so busy chuckling at themselves they almost forgot to take the picture of them in their mankinis striking a pose.

"So what should we do for the dare," said Leif.

"Run up and down the beach like we have on regular swim trunks and then do a pose for Lynne in the water. Tell her why have chip and dales when she can have mankini madness," said Matthew.

They ran up and down the beach while the locals, probably aware they were up to some prank chatted and pointed speaking animated Spanish.

Then out came the cellphones.

They were so drunk, they all linked their arms together, kicking up their legs like the rockettes and chattering on loudly about being drunk chip and dales for Lynne and her bachelorette party.

Leif didn't know what possessed him to do this, it must have been the combination of the tequila and the pot, but in the final part of the video, he shook his ass to the camera, and promised Lynne more of that on Sunday.

They were howling with laughter when they shut off the camera.

"Shit, a part of my dignity just died," said Leif, hitting the send button and sending the video to Lynne.

"Hey man, it was only fun and games and we are all on there looking like asses," offered Matthew.

"No, this is exactly the kind of prank that I wanted to do for my bachelor party. It's hilarious. Lynne will never expect it. We look disgusting. The girls will laugh. Someone will probably post it to facebook and we'll be legends. Almost as good as dressing the school statue in victoria's secret underwear," said Leif.

"That was you? I never knew it, all those damn years," offered Andy.

"Ugh, need to change out of this shit," said Leif, rubbing his stomach.

He ran to the changing stall just in time. Up went all the tequila, the brownies. His head was throbbing, and he knew then he'd been really hammered when he agreed to the mankini stunt.

He loved to drink, but his tolerance for drinking was not what it used to be. He wondered how he'd handle what additional liquor was sure to come. He was glad though that he'd gotten that out of his system before his boys returned, they would have chided him for not being able to hold his liquor.

He changed out of his mankini back into his regular jeans and t-shirts, and awaited his Lynne's reaction. He bet they had now settled down from the wild party they had going on earlier, where they were doing sexual things to vegetables and handing out Lynne's honeymoon nighties. They were probably drinking wine and listening to music, calm and subdued, like little ladies. Didn't seem that Lynne needed to feel that she was up to as many wild antics as they got up to, to have fun with her friends.

They had more drinking games when he returned, and Leif felt queasy and sipped as little as possible while they drove down the coastline, and Leif was thankful that Tanner, the most responsible in the group was the designated driver.

***

The party that they were throwing for Lynne was going on so late, it was almost a sleepover, but they were all having too much fun to quit. After drinking wine and watching a few classic, romantic comedies, Janelle started up a round of truth or dare.

This was truth or dare with a twist. The ladies had to tell sexual truths. If your truth was not as interesting as someone else's truth, you were still commissioned to do a dare.

So, there was quite a lot of pranking and giggling going on. Crank calls, in the era of caller ID, and even though they hadn't played these type of games since middle school, the silliness of it all made Lynne laugh until her belly ached.

Finally Janelle had a truth or dare question that Lynne felt it would be safe to cry the truth on-

The freakiest place that you'd ever had sex.

Lynne thought she had the category beaten with the Fair sex in a public restroom, gleefully giggling about how they snuck in the bathroom.

Janelle cocked one eyebrow and quoted the library.

"Liar!" challenged Lynne.

"Hell no I am not lying. Back in college. Didn't you ever go back to those musty ass stacks? Where all the old as hell shit is that you can't look up on the computer, microfiche and shit? Back there. Me, and this brotha named Tim. And, get this, when I was close to finishing, I caught a student aide watching me through the stacks. But that made it better, it was kinky as hell!" said Janelle.

Everyone guffawed with laughter.

Lynne's face felt a little warm. Janelle's truth was more interesting that Lynne's truth. But Lynne was blushing in a way because she was envious. Even though getting caught was embarrassing, Leif had brought out Lynne's naughty side, and she now wondered what it would be like to have Leif fucking her brains out while someone peeped at her with nosey eyes through the veil of a bookshelf.

Damn! What a freak she'd become, Janelle was right.

"Yours is good baby sister, but not as good as mine. I'm surprised you're doing such freaky shit, you used to be such a good goody, but I'm happy for you. That's what I want in my marriage. I still want someone I want to fuck any and everywhere! That shouldn't change because we tie the knot. We'll put it up for a vote, but I'd say mine is better unless someone could hear you in the stall next door," said Janelle.

"It was a one bathroom stall," said Lynne.

"Man, that's almost like having your own room, near total privacy," quipped one of her friends.

Lynne chuckled, then waited for her dare. She was surprised when they gave her the dare to run topless through the back yard. She guffawed with laughter.

"Quit teasing her. She's come a long ass way. She's a little freak. I can't wait to hear what he gets you up to on the honeymoon. So, off you go. You can wait until you get outside to take off your top," said Janelle.

"For real? Ya'll are serious?" she quipped.

"Hell yeah. You never would streak when we dared you to streak through the dorm commons late at night because of your dead ass family. I think you should make up for some of the fun you never could have, and the silly stunts you never did in high school and college on the eve of becoming a married woman," said Janelle.

"You shit!" cried Lynne.

Her girlfriends chuckled.

"I should make one of your asses go with me. Oh. Alright. But let me get another glass of wine first," said Lynne.

She grabbed glass of wine, and gulped it down so fast that everyone chuckled.

Lynne had chuckled at Janelle's earlier reasoning, but she also thought it was sweet for Janelle to give her an opportunity to enjoy the wild and crazy stunts that she should have gotten up to in college. She did do some crazy things when she could, but certain things she'd definitely not been able to do for fear of getting caught by her parents.

But that was all over now. It was a brand new awakening for her, marrying the love of her life and celebrating with friends and his wonderful family who loved her no matter what she believed. What better way to celebrate this new beautiful chapter in her life than pulling one last stunt.

Still Lynne felt a little bit shy and embarrassed. She wanted to make sure she didn't humiliate herself totally and do anything to make Leif's family uncomfortable.

"Let me use the rest room before I run across the yard topless. Last thing I need is to have to go to the bathroom after all that wine," said Lynne.

"Hell that can be part of the dare too, pee in the bushes," joked one of her friends.

Lynne giggled, and went upstairs to see her mother-in-law to be. She didn't mind the dare, but she wanted to take proper precautions so that her father in law wouldn't be embarrassed by the stupid dare.

She knocked on the door, which was already opened.

Linda waved her inside.

"Sit down sweetie," said his mother patting the edge of the bed.

His mother was so warm.

She was going over the seating chart that she and Leif selected.

"Everything okay? You having fun with your girlfriends? Are they driving you crazy?" teased Linda.

"Are they? That's...that's why I came up here. They are so silly. They dared me to...to run through your yard topless. I know no one lives here for miles around. But...I know this sounds crazy but I want to be respectful of your house even though we want to have a good time. So, if you say no then I won't. Also...I wanted you to know so I don't embarrass Garrett, or myself," said Lynne.

"Oh your Dad is out having Cigars, his brothers took him out to celebrate your wedding, so you don't have to worry about embarrassing him. Everyone is celebrating, before the damn wedding even gets started. We are so happy for you two. I'm glad you and your girlfriends are cutting loose before the wedding. Hell, I always wanted to streak through the Quad when I was in college. But I had Lyle and had to drop out. It seemed like something wild and crazy to try though and girls were always daring each other to do that type of stuff. I'm easy going. I'm just happy you all are doing it in our yard where you young ladies will be safe," said his mother.