Life's Choices

The choices we make in life can be right, or they can be wrong. But can they be both right and wrong at the same time? I don't know the answer to that. Only at the end of one's life do we ever find out for sure. Enjoy the story.

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I poked the barrel of the shotgun into the man's back urging him to keep walking. It was a late fall evening and the stars twinkled brightly in the sky despite the presence of a full moon. The air was crisp and cold, yet my face was sweating profusely under the ski mask that covered my head. We were the only souls around in this section of desert thirty-odd miles outside of Las Vegas. I prodded the grumbling man once more in the back, sick of his pathetic whining and his demands to know what he had done. He knew what he'd done; and he knew what was coming. You don't get kidnapped and taken out to the desert by a guy with a shotgun without figuring out what was coming. Fifty more yards and we reached the spot I wanted. Before us was an abandoned mine shaft that I had discovered many years ago while hunting with friends. It was just large enough, and deep enough for my needs. The man stopped and turned to face me; he kept asking me who I was. Slowly I removed the ski mask and watched as his eyes grew wide with fear and all the blood drained from his face. "You!" he shouted. The blast from the shotgun echoed off the distant hills.

In order for me to explain why I had made this life changing choice, I must first give you a little background of what my life was like when I was growing up. My name is Ben Rogers, and this is my story.

For the first ten years of my life I thought of us as a normal family. My mother Madeline, everyone called her Mady, and my father Bill seemed to be the perfect couple. Mom was the perfect housewife and Dad was a successful businessman. There were the occasional fights, and I was aware of the bruises on Mom's arms and legs. She had insisted that they were the results of her and Dad rough housing and I had believed her. She was my mother after all, a woman I adored, she wouldn't lie to me.

While Mom spent as much time with me as possible, Dad did just the opposite. He shunned me for reasons I wouldn't find out about until I reached the ripe old age of fifteen. By then I knew Mom's rough housing story was a complete fabrication. It was her way of keeping me from knowing the truth. It was during one of their increasingly frequent fights that I heard Dad accuse Mom of bearing someone else's kid. At first I didn't understand what he meant; I was an only child. I knew the accusation couldn't be true since I looked just like him in so many ways. Other than being gangly as hell I resembled him to a T. I had short brown hair; smoldering brown eyes, and stood just as tall as his six feet. The only thing I didn't inherit from him was his ability to make people like me. Where he was outgoing, I on the other hand had trouble making friends. This was fine with me; it meant that I could spend more quality time with Mom.

Shortly after I turned sixteen I learned that Dad was being investigated by the IRS for shady business practices. Nothing came of it, but Dad felt it prudent to transfer everything we owned into Mom's name. Not long after that the beatings started coming on a more regular basis. My pleas for Mom to leave him fell on deaf ears. There were even times she actually seemed to get angry with me for bringing up the subject. It was around this time that I had started referring to him as "The Bastard" instead of Dad. That didn't sit well with Mom, but she never punished me for it.

My rage finally boiled over when I was eighteen years old and fresh out of high school. I heard the screams coming from my parent's bedroom and then the sounds of flesh hitting flesh. I knew that sound like I knew the back of my hand. It was the sound of my Dad hitting my Mom. Again. I jumped off the couch and got to their bedroom door just in time to see my father pulling back his fist to strike her again. Something inside me snapped. Rushing forward I slammed my own fist into the side of his head. The only thing that accomplished was, it broke my wrist, and made him turn his attention toward me. He caught me in the side of my head with a right cross sending me flying into their dresser before sprawling out on the floor.

"When you think you're man enough to try that shit again, let me know," he sneered at me, then stomped off leaving Mom and I in heaps on the floor.

Through teary eyes I looked over to where she sat leaning against the bed. She had a goose egg on her forehead and the front of her blouse was ripped almost completely off. There was a trickle of blood coming from her nose. I crawled on hands and knees over to her and then wrapped my arms around her shaking shoulders. She buried her face in the side of my neck and silently wept.

"Why do you stay with him Mom," I asked in frustration.

I got the same answer as all the other times I'd asked that question.

"Because I love him, and he does love me too."

"If he loves you, why does he do this to you," I asked bitterly.

"He just gets frustrated with things, and I come along and say or do something stupid. He tells me how sorry he is later, you know that."

"Yeah. And in a week, or a month from now he'll do the same thing. Just leave him," I pleaded.

"And do what? He takes good care of us, and don't you forget it mister," she replied, anger evident in her voice.

I helped her to her feet and gave her a once over that turned into a lingering stare. She stood there with one hand rubbing the goose egg while her other hand absently fingered the torn pieces of her blouse. Her thick shoulder length brown hair was disheveled, and other than the goose egg and trickle of blood around her nostril, she looked okay. There was one other thing; she wasn't wearing a bra. A fact that she seemed to be oblivious to. I wasn't however. I tried to look away but I couldn't pull my eyes off the firm round globes that sat proudly on her chest. Creamy white skin topped with dark brown areolas and pointy nipples. My dick began to swell in my jeans at the same time her eyes noticed my intense stare. Color jumped to her face as she swiftly turned her back to me and tried to hide her exposed breasts. The fact that I'd gotten aroused by the sight of my own mother's tits sickened me. I ran from the room and hid in my bedroom for two days, only coming out to get something to drink or eat. I spent most of that time remembering the years of seeing bruises and black eyes on Mom's face and arms. It was during those two days that I grew to realize that if I didn't leave I'd probably do something stupid.

That incident had taken place a little over four years ago. I had kissed my mother goodbye and joined the army. She had wept crocodile tears, but didn't try to stop me from leaving. I found out that I was pretty good at being a soldier. I bulked up, learned to fight, and lost my cherry to some skank during a twenty-four hour pass in Amarillo. Life was good.

Mom stayed in touch with me, but she had to sneak the letters she wrote over to my Aunt Penny's to get mailed. Apparently my father had disowned me. There were even a few occasions when Mom and Penny arranged for her to call me on base. Mom would never tell me how things were going with her and Dad, but Aunt Penny filled me in on all the beatings she knew about. My hatred grew.

Each year I was allowed thirty days of leave; this year I had saved it all up. With permission from my commanding officer I took it all at the same time. I was going home for the first time since leaving. Aunt Penny and I had made plans to surprise Mom.

Aunt Penny met me at the airport on Saturday morning around nine and I had her take me to a motel on the outskirts of town. It wasn't the Ritz, but it was clean and off the beaten path. I had no desire to run into anyone that knew me. After dropping off my duffel bag in my room, I took Aunt Penny out for a bite. She filled me in on her plan to get Mom to my room. It was a simple plan. She was going to tell her that Uncle Sid was in town on a layover and wanted to see her. The plan would have worked too, if Dad hadn't known that Uncle Sid had passed away a week ago. Something no one had bothered to mention to Aunt Penny or Mom. He was Dad's brother after all. Dad accused Mom of having a lover and beat her mercilessly. This time an off-duty cop was walking his dog when her screams broke the stillness of the evening. Dad was arrested for domestic violence, and Mom spent the night at the hospital. I didn't know anything about it until the next day.

I was beginning to worry when my repeated calls to Aunt Penny went unanswered. My worry turned to concern when she banged on my door around eleven AM. When I opened the door I saw Aunt Penny looking back and forth from my door to her car. She looked like she hadn't slept in a week; her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles under them.

"I have your Mom in the car. Your Dad beat her up pretty bad last night," she rambled.

"I'll kill that bastard," I growled as I rushed out and opened the passenger side door.

Mom was still in the hospital gown the nurses had put on her, since her clothes were now evidence against my father. Her soft brown hair was neatly brushed, and there were no visible signs of trauma on her face, other than the fading blackness around one eye. I could tell that she was on some sort of medication, her eyes refused to focus and she didn't seem to know where she was.

"Careful, she's got some bruised ribs and she's pretty weak. Also the meds cause her to go in and out," Aunt Penny was saying as I reached in to help Mom out of the car.

"Shouldn't she still be in the hospital then," I asked worriedly.

"The doctor says she'll be okay, she just has to stay off her feet for awhile. I brought her here in case that prick gets out on bail," she told me, her voice sounding a little frantic.

"Calm down Penny, everything's gonna be okay," I said, reaching behind my Aunt's back and rubbing it as soothingly as I could.

It was a struggle, but we managed to get Mom from the car to my room. She actually giggled when my hand accidentally touched a bare cheek through the open slit at the back of her hospital gown. It was clear she didn't recognize either of us. Aunt Penny turned down the bed while I held Mom's wobbling body. After getting her safely tucked under the covers I followed Penny out to her car. There she handed me a bag with a tube of suave for Mom's ribs, several bottles of medication and a bottle of baby powder. She explained that one was for pain, one was for nausea and one was to help her sleep. Embarrassment on her face, she also handed me a small bundle of adult diapers. Her eyes said, 'sorry', as I took them from her.

"I want to come back and help, but if Bill gets out he might try to follow me over here."

"You have my cell, call me if you hear anything. Don't worry, I can handle it," I reassured her. She gave me a huge hug before driving off.

I familiarized myself with the instructions for the medications when I got back inside the room. They were pretty cut and dried. The one thing I knew I needed to take care of right away was also the one I was reluctant to do. Putting a diaper on your own mother was not something sons grew up longing to do; at least not this son anyway. The memory of having seen her breasts so long ago was going to pale in comparison to seeing her exposed vagina.

"Get a grip," I told myself as I gently lowered the covers off her. With shaking hands I raised the hem of her gown until the tangled bush of brown pubic hair was in plain sight. Unable to control it, my cock stiffened a little as my eyes saw the place I came from for the very first time. I had to lift her knees in order to get the diaper under the bottom swell of her ass. While I tugged the diaper up under her, her knees parted and her legs opened wide to my bug-eyed stare. Her outer folds opened and I could see the brownish, meaty lips of her inner labia. I could also see the tiny pink bud of her clitoris peeking from its hood. In all my life I'd never had a sexual thought about her, but now, the sight of her pussy spread open had my cock roaring for release. Hurriedly, I finished the task and darted off to the bathroom.

"You sick fucker!" my brain screamed at me as my hand yanked my rod faster and faster, a vision of Mom's furry sweetness filling my mind. I nearly buckled from the power of my release. On weak knees I returned to the front room and took a seat at the tiny table near the window. Delicate snores came from the bed.

I must have dozed off, because I was startled by the sounds of moaning coming from the bed. I went over and saw sweat pouring from Mom's face. I pulled down the covers and noticed her gown was soaked with sweat. Her moaning subsided somewhat as the cool air washed over her, but I knew I couldn't leave the wet gown on. It was easy to remove, all I had to do was untie the neck strings and pull it off her arms. As I was pulling the sheet back up over her nakedness I noticed her eyes were half open and she was staring at me. A small smile formed at the corners of her mouth right before her eyes closed again. My heart swelled from the love I felt for her. I got a washcloth from the bathroom, moistened it with cool water, and sat on the edge of the bed and bathed her face. Around nine that night I gently crawled onto the other side of the king sized bed and lay down. I had managed to apply more suave and change her unused diaper without getting too aroused.

Aunt Penny's call woke me at six in the morning. She wanted to know how Mom was doing, and also to tell me that Dad had bailed out. We agreed that she should stay away so he couldn't follow her here. After she hung up I went over and looked down at Mom's sleeping face. Her color looked good and her breathing sounded strong. While I was studying her she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Groans of pain came from her lips.

"Stay down Mom," I whispered, gently pushing her down by her shoulders before softly running my hand through her hair.

"Ben? Is that really you," she asked weakly, reaching up and stroking the side of my face.

"Yeah Mom, it's really me," I told her while smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh my sweet baby," she rasped.

"How are you feeling," I asked, covering her hand on my cheek with mine.

"I hurt."

I brought her a glass of water along with a pain pill and a pill to help her sleep. She drank the water like she was dying of thirst so I brought her some more. While I waited for the pill to kick in I took the cool damp washcloth and bathed her face and shoulders. Her hands came up and rested on her chest. Her eyes widened when it dawned on her that she was naked. Lifting the sheet, she peered down at her body then turned her gaze to me.

"I'm naked," she stated flatly.

"Well, almost naked Mom," I had to chuckle at the astonished look on her face as she lifted the sheet once more and peered down her body.

"Is that a diaper," she squeaked, letting the sheet float back down on her chest.

"Afraid so. I didn't know how long you'd be out, so I took precautions," I told her.

"You...put it on me?"

"Yes."

"You saw me naked," she stammered, her face turning beet red.

"It was unavoidable Mom, but don't worry, I didn't stare," I lied as her eyelids began to droop.

"I don't think I need a diaper," she protested, her voice slurring as the pills kicked in.

As it turned out, she did need it. She had begun to sweat again and as I pulled down the sheet to give her a cooling sponge bath the smell of urine assaulted my nostrils. I removed the diaper, and after running warm water over the washcloth, I began to clean her privates. I wasn't mentally prepared for what happened next. As I was running the cloth gently between her spread legs she began to moan. Not moans of pain, but rather the distinct moans of pleasure. Fascinated, I rubbed the cloth between her outer folds and then over the nub of her clitoris. The moans grew stronger and her nipples grew stiff. Almost in a trance, I rubbed a little harder and a little faster. Each time the cloth went over her clit she moaned. I concentrated my efforts over this area and before I knew it her ass lifted up slightly off the bed and a low, deep moan escaped her lips. When I pulled the cloth away I could see a small stream of secretions leaking from her pussy. Horrified at what I'd just done I pulled the sheet over her and stumbled backwards. That's when I noticed her eyes were open and staring at me. I sat heavily down at the table and waited for her to tell me how disgusted she was with me. She didn't say anything, she just went right back to sleep.

I reached in my shirt pocket, removed my pack of smokes and lit one with trembling hands. Pulling the smoke deeply into my lungs I felt my frayed nerves start to settle down. After I finished my cigarette and put it out in the cheap tin ashtray on the table, I checked on Mom. She was sleeping soundly so I took a chance and went across the street to a mini-market and bought some supplies. Food, snacks, a six-pack of cold Buds and another pack of smokes. Mom was still asleep when I returned. I popped the top on one of the beers and took a long pull on it, as a mixture of crazy thoughts tumbled through my brain. I watched her sleep, her face smooth and serene. I had never thought of her as anything other than Mom, I especially hadn't thought of her like a man does a woman. Now that was the only way I could think of her. A woman whom I loved more than anything in the world. I finished my beer, opened another and stood silent guard, vowing to never let anything, or anyone, ever hurt her again.

She woke up the next time I was applying the suave to her ribs. I could tell she was tender, she'd flinch a little if I rubbed too hard. I expected her to be upset that her chest was exposed and my hands were brushing against the sides of her breasts as I rubbed the cream up near her armpits. Instead, I saw the love in her eyes as she just watched my face.

"My little man has grown up. I love you Ben," she whispered, her eyes locked on mine.

"I love you Mady," I whispered softly back.

I don't know if she meant to do it, but she took one of my hands in hers and placed it on her chest, directly on top of her right breast.

"That's the first time you've ever called me by my name. I think I like it," she said, pushing the palm of my hand against the softness of her tit.

"Then from now on, Mady it is," I chuckled, reluctantly removing my hand from her breast. We were both a little surprised to see that her nipple had sprung to life.

She managed to eat part of a cup-a-noodles I heated up in the tiny microwave before falling back to sleep. Before turning in for the night I gave her another quick sponge bath, and even managed to change her diaper without perving out. I could smell the baby powder I'd sprinkled on her as I removed all but my boxers and climbed under the sheet with her. Sometime during the night I woke up to find that she had scooted over on her back against me and had thrown one leg over mine. Facing her I reached down and stroked her calf before letting my hand settle on her inner thigh. The warmth and comfort of her leg over mine had me back in dreamland in no time.

Over the next few days she continued to grow stronger. She was able to sit up for a while and visit, and I'd even managed to get her to eat some solid food. With my help she could hobble to the bathroom, I remained outside the door and waited for her to say she was done. She also insisted on not wearing the diapers anymore at this time. Aunt Penny was delighted to hear about her progress when she made her daily call to check up on things.

The evening of the fourth night things got a little complicated. Mom had continued to let me give her sponge baths, from the waist up, but now she said she really wanted to try to take a shower. She was able to walk on her own, but she wanted me in the room in case she became too weak to finish. We had both grown accustomed to me seeing her nude, so when she climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom it was no big deal. It would have been great if I could've convinced the swelling in my groin of that. By the time I followed her swaying round ass cheeks into the bathroom I had a raging hard-on.