1 - SexySarah
This tale was up to over forty-six thousand words when I saw the light, and decided to break it up! This first part deals with a mother's reaction when she learns that her son fantasizes about fucking her. Enjoy! (I hope … )
A couple of notes: there are email messages and chat messages in this opus. I've used simple italics for the emails, and the chat messages are preceded by left angle bracket - < - and followed by right angle bracket - >
I had my feet up, fighting sleep as I pretended to watch a stupid film on television, when the phone rang. Caller ID said it was Ben's cell phone, so I picked up the handset.
"Hi, son. What's up?"
"Hi, Mom. Um, I need you to do me a favor, please?"
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
He laughed. "Don't worry, Mom, it's easy. I need a file that's on my PC. I forgot to copy it when I came back to college last month after the break. If you could email it to me?"
"I think I can manage that. Do you want to hold on, or shall I ring you back when the computer is running?"
"Ring me back, please, Mom? Um, Mom? You'll need my user-name and password."
"Ah, yes. Good thinking, son. Just a moment until I grab a pencil ... okay, shoot."
"Okay, Mom, user name is benjie. B, e, n, j, i, e. All lower case."
"Okay, got that. Password?"
He paused a moment. "Um, it's SexySarah#1. Capital S, lower case e, x, y, uppercase S, then lowercase a, r, a and h. Then the number sign, and digit 1. No spaces. Okay?"
I read it back to him, my mind whirling. Sexy Sarah, huh? That's my name, Sarah. Not sure about the sexy, although I had really enjoyed sex with my late husband. A lot. "Okay, son, I'll ring you back in about ten minutes, okay?"
"Okay, Mom. Love you. 'Bye." He hung up and I replaced the handset, slowly. Was I making too much of it? Highly probable. I laughed and made my way up to his room. We had the space, and we'd converted a large closet into an office for him. He had his PC and printer on the desk, and plenty of filing space for his papers. I switched the computer on and waited for it to go through the boot procedure, then entered his user name and password. Bingo! I reached for the phone near his desk and dialed his cell phone. He answered on the first ring.
"Hi, Mom. All ready to go?"
"Sure thing, son. What am I looking for?"
"Open the file manager, and look for a folder labeled 'College'."
"Um, okay, yep, got that. Now what?"
"Open the 'College' folder. There are other folders in that one. The one I want is labeled 'C++'. Open that, and find a folder labeled 'Project'. If you could attach that folder to an email and send it?"
"Two minutes. I'll just put the phone down." Blessing the fact that both Ben and my late husband Jack had made sure I knew my way around a computer, I opened up Ben's email program, typed up a quick note, addressed the email to his college address, and attached the folder. I checked, yes, everything okay, and clicked on 'send'. I picked the phone up again. "Ben?"
"Hi, Mom. Everything okay?"
"The folder's on its way. Do you want me to hold until you check?"
"Sure thing, Mom, if you don't mind?"
"No problem, son. Tonight's TV is rubbish, I'd rather talk to my son. Everything going okay?"
"Mostly, Mom, except that Jill broke it off. To be honest, I'd been expecting it. She's a lovely girl, but we had nothing in common."
"Too bad, son." I laughed. "You can concentrate on your exams now."
"Yeah, right. Hey, just a second, Mom. Yeah, the email just arrived. A moment until I check it … um, yes, the files are there. Thanks, Mom, you just saved me a lot of work."
"Okay, son. Tasks like that I don't mind, but don't make a habit of it, okay?"
He laughed. "No way, Mom. Thanks again, and bye for now."
"Bye, son. Take care, and good luck in the exams."
"Thanks, Mom. Bye." He hung up, and I replaced my own handset. About to switch off the PC I caught sight of the corner of a folder on his desk. A paper - a photo - was sticking out a little and I saw what looked like bare skin. I was about to reach for it, then stopped myself. Invasion of Ben's privacy, Sarah. I fought my inner devil for a moment, but the devil won and I reached for the folder. I opened it and stopped dead. It was a photo, yes, and I had seen bare skin. A lot of it, in fact, because the subject of the photo was a naked woman. Now a mere nude wouldn't have stopped me dead. After all, my son was male, only twenty-one, and as far as I knew was as horny as the next guy. He'd had girlfriends and I was pretty sure that more than one of them had been bedmates, too.
No, what stopped me dead was the subject of the photo, because it was me, totally naked, and there was no way Ben could have a nude photo of me. I knew that, because I'd never been naked in his presence. I took a closer look at the photo, then realized. Yes, it actually was me, but the photo had been taken about five years earlier, before Jack died, and the three of us, plus Ben's then girlfriend, Rhonda, had been to the beach for the day. Somehow, despite my reservations, I'd let Rhonda persuade me to buy a bikini for the trip. Now, I look after myself, eat carefully and exercise regularly, and I think my figure is pretty good. My tits aren't particularly big, but as my late husband always said, 'anything more than a handful is wasted,' and I hadn't drooped much at all over the years. In fact, they still looked – and felt – pretty good to me. I looked closely at the photo and smiled. Definitely not my tits. The size and shape were about right, yes, but my areolae are bigger. I guessed Ben must have manipulated the photo. I laughed and went to put it back, but then a thought struck me. Why on earth would Ben want a nude photo of his mother?
For a sexually experienced widow of forty-one I can be incredibly naive at times. Why does any virile young heterosexual male keep a picture of a naked woman near his bed? Masturbation stimulus, that's why! But his mother? Ben was masturbating to thoughts of me? I was trying to be annoyed but my innate honesty recognized the self-delusion, and I felt a hot flush run through me, centered between my legs. The thought of Ben jacking off to a picture of me was getting me sexually excited!
I sat back, thinking hard. That I ought to be shocked, even disgusted, I recognized and discarded. I understood sex drive, oh yes. Jack and I had had an active sexual life. I loved to be fucked, and he loved to fuck me. Now, for reasons which completely escaped me, I was thinking of being fucked by my son. Not only that, but the thought was exciting me! I shook my head, and went to put the picture back in the folder, but a slip of paper in the folder caught my eye. A list of website addresses. I looked closer, recognizing one or two of them as porn sites Jack and I had looked at for occasional stimulus. Not that we needed it, because just the sight of each other naked was enough to trigger a mutually satisfying sex session, but yes, sometimes we got ideas. There were other site addresses I didn't recognize, though. A couple of things caught my eye, references to MILFs, whatever they were, and 'mothers and sons'. I thought for a moment or two, and then reached for the keyboard, opening the browser and keying in the first address.
Half an hour later I sat back, pensive, closing the browser and preparing to close down the computer. I paused, thinking. He had the list of websites, but did Ben have anything saved on his computer? A few minutes searching and I thought I might have found something, but when I tried to open the folder, I found it was password-protected. Would his main password work? Yes! Well, almost. It was actually SexySarah#2. I opened the folder and started to browse.
When I finally got around to shutting down the computer an hour or so later, I had a lot to think about. Primarily, whether to confront Ben about it. In all honesty, what I had done was invade my son's privacy, and that was a trust I wasn't prepared to break casually. But what I had read on Ben's computer indicated that the idea of fucking his mother was high on his list of desires. I'd found out what a MILF was - 'a mom I'd like to fuck.' He'd even made a list. Top of the list was me, and I wasn't quite sure what I thought about that, but his aunt Carol was there, too, as were Jenny Collins and Alice Jensen, two neighbors. Sisters, they were both younger than me, Jenny by about a year, her sister Alice nearer three, but both of them at least sixteen or seventeen years older than Ben. If I included myself, all of the women on Ben's list were attractive, intelligent older women. It seemed that whatever else was involved, and I wasn't prepared to go there, not yet, at least my son showed good taste in his choice of older women! Although it was only mid-evening, I was a little tired and got ready for bed. I lay in bed for ages thinking, thinking about my son's obvious desire to fuck his mom. That the thought excited me, I admitted freely. Whether I'd do anything about it I just didn't know, and my sleep was restless when I finally dozed off.
Jack's will and insurance had left us comfortable, but I still need to work to bring in some cash, cash I could use to put the occasional luxury into our lives, so for four-and-a half days a week, plus the occasional weekend cover, I work in real estate. Usually in the office, occasionally filling in to show prospective customers around properties we had on the books. I finished at midday on a Friday and usually had at least a coffee, sometimes lunch, with my sister Carol. Fifteen months older than me, Carol was another single mother. In her case, of twins, Tony and Tina, a year or so older than Ben. Carol wasn't a widow, but divorced. Because she'd had a good lawyer the divorce settlement was good, and she, like me, was comfortable but needed to work for the luxuries. Carol worked for the firm of lawyers who had handled her divorce. Because she was a good employee, a paralegal, the partner who handled the divorce for her, Alicia Juarez, had charged her only for actual costs, doing the rest of the work pro bono. Anyway, enough of that. The offices where we worked were only a couple of blocks apart so, as I said, we had a coffee or lunch together on a Friday.
Carol and I are close, and she'd always looked out for me as we were growing up, and as we moved apart and into relationships, and then marriage, we remained good friends. I knew I could ask her about just about anything and know that I'd get an honest answer. I'd dithered for a few days but decided I needed to ask her about Ben's fantasy. This Friday was a lunch day, and we went to one of our favorites, Bambina. Italian, good food, reasonable prices. As usual, it was busy, and conversation was difficult, private conversation impossible. Not to worry, because it was a fine summer day. On fine summer days we took coffee-to-go and went and sat in a little park a block away. Nearly always quiet during the day, maybe a few pre-school children and their mothers in the play area, but the benches were set well apart and it was easy to spot anyone getting close enough to eavesdrop. We sat, and as usual, I kicked off my shoes, wriggling my toes.
Carol laughed. "You always do that."
I shrugged. "I know. I guess I just like to wriggle my toes. Heck, I usually walk around barefoot at home."
"You always did." She looked at me. "Something on your mind, little sister?"
I nodded. "I guess. Something came up and I'm not sure what to do about it."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I'm not sure, but I do need advice."
I took a deep breath. "Carol, what does a woman do when she finds out her son has manipulated a photo of her into a nude photo, and fantasizes about fucking her?"
For the first time ever that I could remember, Carol didn't give me a straight answer. In fact, she stared at me, then flushed and looked away for a moment, then back at me.
"I'm not sure I can answer that one, sis," she said quietly. We gazed at each other for a long, tense moment, then she gave me a little smile. "Can I tell you something in confidence, Sarah, and will you promise never to say anything to anybody, ever?"
Wow, this was heavy! "I so swear, Carol. Nothing to anybody, ever, except on your say-so. Okay?"
She nodded. "I've never known you break your word in my life, sis." She took a deep breath. "The reason I can't advise is that I'm compromised, or more probably, biased." She held my eyes with hers. "I've been fucking Tony for almost three months now."
I sat back, stunned, staring at her, but then, I couldn't help it, I grinned. "Is it good?"
Carol exploded in a snort of laughter. "Sarah, it's fucking marvelous!"
"So, how did this happen?"
"You know Tina works late at the hospital, every other Friday?" I nodded. "Well, after a couple of scares from other late travelers, and some persuasion from her workmate, Nancy, Tina spends every other Friday at Nancy's place, after they've finished work. Tina says they spend most of the night just talking and chilling out together. She says it's fun. Well, as you no doubt realize, that leaves Tony and me alone together every other Friday?"
"Well, one Friday I'd been out with the girls from the office. I felt a bit out of it, as they're all younger than me, so I left earlier than I'd planned, almost two hours earlier than I'd told Tony I'd be home. I guess he must have been feeling horny, because when I went in, he was on the couch in the living room, buck naked, masturbating to a porn film he was watching on our big-screen TV."
"Wow! So, what happened?"
Carol grinned. "I'm not quite certain. Anyhow, when he realized I was there, he tried to make a dash for his bedroom, I think, but tripped, and almost knocked himself out. I was down on my knees beside him, trying to reassure him, to tell him that masturbation was natural and normal, and that even I masturbated, when I realized I had his cock in my hand and was jacking him off." She shrugged. "Still not sure how it happened, but next thing I knew his cock was in my mouth and I was swallowing what seemed like a gallon of his jizz. After that, it's a blur, maybe I'd had too much to drink, but I remember helping him to undress me, and teaching him to eat me. He gave me a woozer of a climax, too. Of course he was hard again by then so it seemed natural to fuck, right there on the floor in front of the TV, with the porn film still playing. We went to bed together and I guess we must have fucked another three or four times that night and next morning. We got up and had breakfast, but neither of us said anything. I think we were both embarrassed."
"Well, since you just told me the two of you fuck every other Friday, somebody must have said something?"
"Not then. In fact, not until the next Friday that Tina was working late. Tony stayed in his room, and I just sat in the living room, brooding. It got so I couldn't stand it any longer, so I went to my bedroom, stripped naked and then went along to his room. I walked in and said, 'well, are you going to fuck me or just play with yourself?' He got the biggest grin I've ever seen on his face and just ripped his clothes off, held out his hand and said, 'your bed or mine?' I said, 'we're already here, so yours', and we went at it like a couple of sex-starved mink. This time we talked, we talked a lot, in fact, and we agreed no-one should ever know, but any night we knew Tina would be away, we'd sleep together. Apart from that, if we had the opportunity and knew we had the time, we'd fuck." Carol shrugged and sat back. "Well, sis, there you have it, the reason I can't, won't, advise you on whether to fuck Ben or not."
I reached out and took her hand, squeezing her fingers. "Thanks, sis, for trusting me enough to tell me." I made a face. "Doesn't help me with my problem, though. I still don't know what to do."
"Well the first question you have to answer is, do you want to fuck Ben?" said Carol.
"I don't know. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? Yes, I do, but I'm scared I'll do something stupid and ruin our relationship." I felt a great relief at finally admitting it to myself, never mind Carol. She reached out and took my hand.
"How did you find out he wanted to fuck you? Or, at least, how did you find out about his fantasy?"
"Almost by accident," I said, and went on to tell her about how I'd spotted the photo, and how it had led me to search his computer. "Carol, I feel guilty. I invaded Ben's privacy, and I have no idea how to take the next step, letting him know that I know about his fantasy."
"Yeah, sis, you have a problem." Carol looked at her watch, and went on. "Sorry, Sarah, but I have to get back to work. Are you doing anything tomorrow?"
"Nothing special. Why?"
"How about I think about this overnight and maybe come around to your place tomorrow?" She grinned. "Not tonight, that's for sure. Tonight is a 'fuck my son' Friday!"
I laughed. "Enjoy yourself! Okay, sis, tomorrow morning? Or afternoon?"
"Make it afternoon. I may stay in bed a while tomorrow morning!" She grinned. "Around two?"
"Fine. I'll have the coffee on."
She stood, and then paused. "Sarah, I'm glad I've been able to tell somebody." She gave me a lopsided grin. "See ya, sis."
Carol went off back to work and I sat in the sunshine for a while, musing. I laughed. Well, if I did fuck Ben, I wouldn't be the first one in the family committing incest. If I did, that is, and I still wasn't completely sure about it, although a growing part of me was saying 'yes'! Quite insistently, too.
Next day being Saturday, I pottered around for a while sorting clothes out for the wash and setting the washer away, made a quick trip to the mart for some groceries I needed, then made myself a chicken salad sandwich for lunch. The clock seemed to be going slower than ever, but at five past two I heard Carol's car on our driveway. I'd left the door open for her, and by the time she came in I had our coffees and a plate of cookies ready.
"Afternoon, sis," she said as she came in, casual in cut-off blue jeans and a sleeveless tank top. Bra-less, too, I noticed, but then I was as well, my only garments being a loose summer dress and panties.
"Take a seat and help yourself to cookies," I said, suiting my own action to the thought. We both took a sip of coffee and set our cups down on the coffee table, then Carol turned to me.
"Any decision on the Ben front yet, Sarah?"
I made a face. "Still dithering." I grinned. "Good night last night?"
Carol laughed. "Fucking-A, sis, absolutely fucking-A. I don't know what got into Tony but he was tireless. I still feel a tad tender this morning."
"Lucky you. Any thoughts?"
"On your Ben dilemma?" I nodded. "Yes, a few," she said, then took a sip of her coffee. "Sneaky, that's me. Tony and I had just finished a bout last night, and I said to him, sort of kidding, 'do you think your cousin Ben would want to fuck your Aunt Sarah like this?' He didn't hesitate. 'Oh, he does, he told me, but he says he can't think of a way to approach her without offending her. He's a tad frustrated is cousin Ben.' That was the first hint I'd heard that they even discussed such things, by the way. I was a little concerned so I asked him if he's told Ben about us, but he said no, quite categorically. He said he also acted the frustrated would-be mother-fucker around Ben."
"Just as well," I said. "So, any thoughts?"
"Tell me, sis, what was your honest reaction to seeing the photo Ben had manipulated? Disgust, or something else?"
I thought for a moment, trying to analyze my feelings. "Shock, at first, then I realized I felt flattered that he thought of me as being worthy jack-off material."