My Kaitlin's Soul is on Fire Ch. 01

The power of one's mind can influence even the most rational among us to make unwise choices. We all have certain hot buttons that arouse us and sexually stimulate us to our very core. Those proclivities when triggered can lead us to some very dark places, the thoughts and images in our mind can overwhelm a person's normal rational judgment.

I will leave it to the Psychiatrists' and published university studies to argue what spurs any particular sexual scenario to the forefront; there are many theories: from early childhood influences, traumatic events, visual, or audio influences, some suggest subconscious persuasions etc... Some individuals spend an entire lifetime wrapped up and attempting to quench a particular fetish.

In my case it was a sudden recognition of a scenario that I never-ever dreamed I would or could find arousing, yet in a few days it became an obsession, my compulsion. Dark Thoughts overwhelmed my Psyche, and anything and everything connected seemed to stimulate all of my senses.... Sights, Smells, Tastes and Sounds took me to the same dark place, and it aroused me on every imaginable level.

For me this compelling stimulus, involves visions of my lovely wife, held passionately, in the arms of another man. Darkly intensified and deeply magnified by the fact that he is not just any other man, to be specific he is a large and powerful Blackman! Yes a Blackman violating the sanctity of my Kaitlin's womb! Why do these disturbing thoughts turn me on; I do not know. How they became so powerful; I cannot answer. It is how I am wired. Here is our tale.

We are both twenty eight years old, married now for three years, I am John and my lovely wife is Kaitlin, often Kate, Katie or K depending upon the person's familiarity, and circle of friendships. We met our sophomore year in college, but only started dating the late part of our senior year.

She quickly became the only girl for me. She is smart, beautiful and athletic. At five foot six inches and weighing in at one-fifteen she possesses the body of an athlete mainly due to her background in ballet, jazz dancing and gymnastics. Her muscle tone is breathtaking, her abs are rock hard, not an ounce of body fat, just slightly muscular with a long and lean tone, but still so very feminine.

Kaitlin's breasts although not large are spectacular and firm; she could go braless all the time except that she is a little self conscious because her nipples are very prominent. Her dark blonde highlighted hair is now at a corporate chic shoulder length, in a more sophisticated style compared to the earlier days when she wore it longer.

Her eyes are bright green and expressive and can make me melt. People tend to comment about her resemblance to a young Jennifer Aniston. In a nutshell she is a lovely woman.

As for me, I am sort of the "all American" guy. An overachiever, good looks, decent athlete, President of the Fraternity etc... Of my many accomplishments winning Kaitlin's heart was tops. Shortly after graduation I landed a job with one of the leading medical device manufacturers and my career took off. My motivation was through the roof I wanted to provide Kaitlin with a wonderful life.

We soon got engaged and had a story- book wedding. Our first year and half we lived in my bachelor condo loft in the city, and it was terrific being young and in love with all the vibrancy of city life. We took advantage of all the dining, drinking and dancing opportunities just outside our doorstep.

I received a promotion at work and really began to rake in some serious dough for a young man. Kaitlin worked for a large insurance company in the Marketing department and could walk the three blocks to the office tower where they were headquartered.

She quickly became sort of the quasi social director of a large group of co workers arranging happy hours and events. It was a great group of fun loving married and singles ranging in age from twenty to fifty.

We also enjoyed a few exotic vacations where we were able to explore this great big wonderful world. We were enjoying a marvelous life together.

I cherish our sex life. There is an intimacy shared when two people care for each other as deeply as we do. I had been your typically horny teenager who was finally able to get some at age fifteen, and never stopped trying to get as much as I could until I fell for Kaitlin.

I had many girlfriends as well as one night stands. In college at my Frat it would sometimes get crazy and there were more than a few occasions that some crazy chicks would provide a gangbang experience. I guess you could say I sowed my wild oats.

On the other hand, Kaitlin had somewhat limited sexual experience. She lost her virginity the night of her senior prom, to her one and only serious boyfriend of three years, their relationship ended during her sophomore year of college. She had one more sex partner, a semi serious boyfriend at college during her junior year. In addition she confessed to one drunken encounter, where she allowed this gorgeous tall handsome blonde model type, to pick her up at a beach party, she described it as both uncomfortable and unsatisfactory.

I enjoyed being the special person that was able to slowly unlock some of her inhibitions that allowed us both to be both satisfied and content as lovers. It always thrilled me to discretely watch my wife when we went out, she was so unaware of her sparking sensuality, an inadvertent flash of thigh, and the way her nipples always showed just a hint, her innocent demeanor in contradiction with every gesture and mannerism that exhibited her feminine charm. I could see the many men lustfully admiring her, and it stroked my ego, because she was all mine!

As we matured a little bit the serious discussions about starting a family became more frequent and was something we both looked forward to together. We decided the time was right to sell the condo and begin to search for a house in the suburbs.

We soon came upon a wonderful sub division with a house that could be described as a mini McMansion, it was twenty percent over our already generous budget, but damn it was spectacular. My career seemed to be on the fast track and my salary, bonus and commissions continued to be growing. So ultimately we decided we could afford it, and we purchased our dream home.

After settling into the new house our first couple of months were consumed with all the decorating projects and acquisitions we could afford, and a few we probably could not. Everything about the new place was expensive room after room, not just furniture, but art and accessories.

For the first time in my adult life I began to have a considerable amount of financial stress. Initially I tried to keep the problem under wraps hiding it from Kaitlin; she was enjoying the process of building our very tasteful and elegant nest. She really lit up when she discussed the plans for the nursery and how charming it would be for our future children. I had heard that mothers to be have a radiant glow, she was not even pregnant yet and she was lighting up the room.

Finally I had to sit her down and come clean about our finances. We were in trouble, not so deep we would lose the house trouble, but we needed to put the brakes on all the plans for additional projects, play a little bit of catch up. We realized how fortunate we were to be as young as we are and to have so much so soon. We did not get too discouraged as we tightened our belts and tackled the do it yourself labor intensive projects we could still afford.

On one Saturday morning as I returned from my all too frequent trips to Home Depot I came upon Kaitlin in what was to be the nursery. She was on the floor scraping and sanding the baseboard. She looked so sexy in her old jeans and a pink tee shirt. Even with dust and smudges on her face and no makeup she is a beautiful woman. I am one lucky guy.

I could not help but admire the way her rear end looked in those jeans, as she sanded away unaware of my presence. Her tits jiggled as she continued to sand the baseboard, I admired the way her super sensitive nipples poked through the cotton tee shirt, and although Kaitlin's a small C cup, her nipples are out of this world. Her areola is dark and puffy about the size of a silver dollar with nipples that always seem to be erect and protrude a good three quarters of an inch.

I just stared at this incredibly sexy woman, who was so unaware of her devastating charms, even while doing the most mundane task she exuded sex appeal.

I approached her and kissed her passionately, she stared at me with a look of amusement conveying what brought that on. I had to have her, right then and there.

I rolled her onto the carpeted floor and tore the pink tee shirt from her body exposing her gorgeous breasts; she just smiled at my unprecedented aggressive attack. I quickly unsnapped her jeans and yanked them down her legs and off. I briefly admired her stunned expression as she laid there wearing only a skimpy pair of gray cotton athletic style panties.

I stood and stripped, then knelt down and ripped her panties at the hip and flung the remnants of torn material across the room. I stared down at her naked body in awe. She was so damn beautiful.

I pushed open her legs and admired her gorgeous pussy with a beautifully trimmed landing strip above, the blonde hair color just a shade darker then the sun streaked highlighted hair on her head. She kept her dark blonde fleece trimmed short, and precisely shaped and tapered about an inch wide and rising upward about two inches, while the rest of her is smooth and pristine. She kept her tiny bush groomed this way to accommodate my preference, my exclusive visual feast.

I have always been infatuated with how lovely her puffy unusually large engorged inner lips dampen with her arousal. Her prominent gorgeous pink labia minora open up like a flower in full bloom beckoning to be pollinated. At that moment, I needed her with an urgency I had never felt before, as I kissed her wet open mouth our tongues began a rhythmic dance, twirling across each other's teeth and then probing deep searching for the others throat; my cock was as hard as steel.

I moved in to mount her, she moved her hand down grabbing my hard dick, and I was thinking that she was going to guide me in. In a frustrated voice she said. "It's not safe; you need a condom, John."

Unfortunately since our financial reassessment, we had decided the need to postpone having a baby and she had not yet been to the OBGYN to renew her pill RX. I felt emasculated as my cock deflated thinking that my financial troubles had got in the way of our dreams and our passion.

First off all we did not even have any condoms in the house and we both hated using them anyway, as Kaitlin had a slight allergic issue with latex.

I sighed then proceeded to go down on her first kissing then tonguing her pussy as she grabbed my hair and maneuvered her hips toward my face desperately seeking satisfaction. I felt like a failure, because I wanted to make love to my wife, but all I could provide her with was oral satisfaction, for now. Frustration...!

As the next few months went by, some routines began to set in. Kaitlin went back on the pill, most weekends we tackled the inexpensive house projects. A great deal of manual labor inside, painting and shelving, lots of hooks etc.. All of the stuff required just to function properly in our delayed dream house. A great deal of energy and heavy lifting went into the landscaping so usually by Sunday night we were both exhausted.

To top things off my company went through a major reorganization, the good news was I received a promotion and was now the youngest Regional Vice President the company ever had. With the new title came a lot more responsibility and travel, too much travel. The downside was the overall compensation was not much more.

I was doing better than 99% of guys my age, but that damn dream house really had us strapped. We were working harder than ever and cutting out expenses where ever we could. We barely went out. It hurt me and I felt inadequate sometimes when I looked into Kaitlin's eyes because I desperately wanted her to have it all.

In our new neighborhood most of our neighbors were a bit older and a little better established, and the majority had kids ranging from teenagers on down to babies.

We soon became friendly with a family a few doors down. They are Jack and Diane with two adorable kids Kimmy who was five and little Jack was three years old. Big Jack was about forty and Diane was thirty three.

Jack ran his Fathers Company which really was a bunch of companies including a chain of more than a dozen dry cleaners. Diane stayed at home, when she was not out spending cash, meaning she was not home all the time. As we became friendlier Jack explained to me one night over a couple of beers that the dry cleaning stores brought in a ton of cash business and he did not feel obligated to declare it all to the IRS, so they literally had a cash flow problem. They had too much cash and the only way to solve it was to spend it. I wanted his problem.

We actually got to know our neighbors through their five year old daughter Kimmy. One day Kaitlin was working in the yard planting some flowers when she looked up and standing over her shoulder was this five year old pixie that quickly told her. "Hi my name is Kimmy." and kept talking for half an hour without taking a breath.

Kaitlin adored the charming little girl after the first minute and the feeling was mutual. At some point Kimmy told Kaitlin she thought that Kaitlin was the prettiest girl in the whole wide world. From that point on every time Kimmy spotted Kaitlin she came running to be with her new 'bestest-friend'.

Soon introductions were made to the rest of her family. It pained me that I knew deep down that Kaitlin wanted her own daughter just like Kimmy. For now most things for us were on hold.

Over the next few weeks little Kimmy almost became a fixture at our house yearning to spend quality time with Kaitlin. Initially Diane would come retrieve Kimmy an apologize profusely for the inconvenience of her wondering inquisitive five year old daughter. Soon enough Diane came to realize that both Kaitlin and I enjoyed their precocious little girl and actually got a kick out of her infatuation with my wife. Shortly after Diane and Jack invited us over for some steaks on the grill, and a comfortable friendship ensued. Over the next couple of months we became quite friendly, in fact most Sunday afternoons we would attend their fabulous cookouts.

They had an incredible backyard with just the right balance of privacy and openness with the right amount of trees strategically laid out minimizing the need for privacy fencing. There is a fabulous infinity pool and a deck area that features multiple gas grills, outdoor refrigerators, a sink, multiple entertainment levels with a big outdoor television and sound system and of course a large hot tub spa. The entire home looked like one of those houses that you see winning a contest on the Home/Garden cable program.

The menu usually consisted of steak and lobster with all the trimmings followed by some decadent dessert. Jack also served top shelf booze, from rare single malt scotch, one of kind Kentucky bourbons to fine wines and champagne.

We felt obligated to reciprocate and had them over on a few occasions, but our budget relegated us to burgers and beer because the damn dream house kept draining all of our discretionary income and then some.

To make matters worse when they came over to our place they brought us beautiful extravagant gifts, for me Cuban cigars, a new hybrid golf club, for Kaitlin a gift card at a top of the line day spa, a dried flower arrangement that must have been five hundred plus dollars, expensive designer clothing, purse's and accessories, just to name a few.

I soon became fond of Jack, in some ways he became the big brother I never had. One evening after a couple of beers I confided in him about our financial struggles. He gently smiled and said he knew all along, but that I had nothing to be ashamed of. That for such a young couple we had accomplished a great deal and if I showed discipline then I could right the ship. He assured me that our friendship did not depend upon tit for tat, and that he and Diane enjoyed being generous with their friends and were fortunate that they could. He said he never expected anything in return from us other then friendship and if he and Diane wanted to shower us with gifts we should just graciously accept them.

He very sincerely grabbed my shoulders and gently shook me and told me to cheer up you have a wonderful life Sport. He was genuine and it did make me feel better.

Then he said. "John I have one rule: I never loan friends money unless they really need it."

I returned his smile and said. "I never would ask Sport."

We toasted our drinks and enjoyed the warmth of our bonding moment.

I will attempt to describe Diane, but may struggle a bit because she is a very complex woman with many nuanced layers. Let us start with the physical. She is about Five foot Ten and I guess 135 pounds with long brunette hair and a healthy killer body. She resembles actress Catherine Zeta-Jones.

She has a confident air, a bit opinionated in a polite way. She is wicked smart and actually graduated with honors from an Ivy League school. She recently had het tits done and jokes they are not any larger but she just replaced the bounce because her two kids wore them out. Her eyes are deep brown and very expressive; she tends to stare into your eyes when she wants to emphasize her point. She is very self assured and seems to be very comfortable in her own skin. She tends to be three thoughts ahead of everyone. It is apparent she is very pleased with her life.

Diane can be a little bit forward although even when she occasionally would tell an off color joke she could pull it off with a certain class, different from Kaitlin's much more gracious and reserved mannerism. The bottom line was Diane was sure about both the things she wanted out of life, and was going to get them.

So as time passed my life with Kaitlin, became a bit more routine. I was traveling and out of town two to three days during the week. Exhausted and house poor.

At one point a former colleague offered Kaitlin a job with his new company, and she accepted because it paid a few thousand dollars more per year. I should have been more supportive and encouraged her to stay at her present position because she really enjoyed both the work and the people, and the new company was much more conservative and smaller, but I was desperate for even the miniscule improvement in our income, so I was silent about discouraging the change.

As a trooper Kaitlin sacrificed her happiness and fulfillment to make us a relatively little bit more money. Once again in my silence I felt like I was disappointing her and letting her down.

With our tight budget and increased pressure from our jobs our one constant bright spot seemed to be the occasions when Jack would take me golfing at his country club and Diane would take Kaitlin to dinner when I was traveling.

Although initially Kaitlin was uncomfortable when Diane would stop by upon returning from her frequent trips to the mall, and drop of a gift bag saying Kimmy had picked out this outfit for Kaitlin. The stuff was always high end designer fashions from Sac's, Bloomingdales, and frequently Victoria's Secret; obviously Kimmy was not picking out this stuff.

We most looked forward to Sunday afternoons and early evening, it would find us typically dining and drinking at Jack and Diane's home. It was comfortable and relaxed and a pleasant way to wind down the week. Sometimes the kids were there, but most often they either returned towards the end of the meal.