African American in Ottawa

People are always surprising me with the shit they do, man. My name is Christopher Spence. I'm a big and tall young Black man living in the town of Ottawa, Province of Ontario. The most politely racist town in the world. The Capital of Canada. What possessed me to leave my hometown of Boston, Massachusetts, to come here? I honestly don't know. Oh, yeah. I do know. My parents, friends and a whole lot of people got fed up with me in New England and I skipped town because, um, I didn't want to die. So I came to the City of Ottawa, a place I visited once before, literally the last place where anyone would think to look for me. Isn't that absolutely fucking awesome?

I came to the City of Ottawa, like I had an actual choice. To continue the Criminal Justice studies I began at Emerson College in the City of Boston, State of Massachusetts, in the Criminology program in Carleton University in the City of Ottawa, Province of Ontario. Life as an African-American in the Confederation of Canada isn't easy, especially given how narrow-minded they are here. It's like they're all lying to themselves about the truth of who and what they are. I was in the elevator in the university center the other day, and this White guy came in with a Chinese chick. Out of the blue, I asked them what they thought of a controversial matter being discussed across Canada today. The Canadian government is reprinting money, mainly because they didn't want an Asian-Canadian female scientist on their money so they replaced her with a White lady. I wanted to know what an Asian chick dating a White guy might think of this bit of Canadian racism.

The Asian chick seemed perplexed by my question, and had to think about it. The White guy's answer came straight out. He said he didn't care, and seemed annoyed that I asked him what he thought. Gee, a White guy with a Chinese girlfriend doesn't think there's anything wrong with the Canadian government removing the picture of an Asian lady from their money. He's banging a Chinese chick but doesn't think a woman of her race is fit to be on the money printed by his beloved country, Canada. The Asian chick finally answered my question, and said she was outraged that the Canadian government removing the Asian lady's picture from their money. She thought it was a pretty racist thing to do.

Well, looks like the lights are on and nobody's home. I nodded, and told them that the question I asked for a summer sociology class. I should mention that I wasn't taking any classes until September. I just wanted to gauge these two's racial nature. The White dude with the Chinese girlfriend is your typical racist White Canadian male and the Chinese chick he's dating/seeing/banging is your typical clueless Asian. So eager to kiss White people's butts that they don't realize a fundamental truth about White people. Um, White folks don't like anyone who isn't White. I mean, Jews in 1940s Germany weren't considered White enough for Adolf Hitler and the Nazis, so people of color, Asians included, aren't going to get into their good graces anytime soon. Hey, I'm just saying.

I walked away from the couple inside the university center, and headed to the library. On my way there, I saw a couple of hijab-wearing Somali chicks. They were staring daggers at a tall, muscular young Somali guy with a baseball cap on who was walking nearby, holding hands with a tall, blonde-haired White chick. I looked at the two young Somali women. They were muttering to each other in the guttural Somali language while eyeballing the Somali dude with the White chick. I think I might know what these Somali ladies with the hijabs and the overflowing dresses are thinking while seeing a young man from their culture with a White woman. These hijab-wearing Somali women are upset that Somali guys won't date them.

Well, they only have themselves to blame. My condolences to Somali women. You see, Somali men are, well, men. Like men everywhere, they got sexual needs. Those conservatively dressed, hijab-wearing Somali women are avoided by Somali men because they're seen as dull, boring and no fun. So the Somali men go for women who aren't Somali and aren't Muslim. Muslim men see conservative Muslim women as boring. So they go for women of other faiths, other cultures and other walks of life. It's that simple, ladies. If you want to be with a man, don't be boring. Men like a challenge. Muslim men don't want to have anything to do with the boring chick who covers up, refuses to go out or do anything fun because she wants to be "holy" and pure. Yeah, she's going to be single until her mid-thirties or worse. That virgin Muslim pussy going to remain untouched and unpleased for at least a decade after finishing university. And that's a damn shame. Because while she's at home praying and dreaming about mister right, every Muslim guy in town is chasing non-Muslim pussy. Christian or Jewish, if you've got it, because let's face it, they're delicious.

Yeah, that's life in the great Confederation of Canada for you. These people are lying to themselves. They constantly say they're an open, free and deeply multicultural society. They claim to respect every fucking culture out there. Hijab-wearing Arab, Indonesian and Somali women shoot disgusted looks at White chicks and Jamaican women walking around in the summer sun in booty shorts and tight shirts. All the while, the Arab guys and Somali men are admiring, flirting and often dating the same sexily dressed, secular women that their religion warns them to stay away from. The White people who love to say how friendly and open Canada is stare daggers at all the Blacks, Arabs, Asians and "others" they see in places like Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary. The four biggest cities in Canada are the major hubs for immigrants from outside the European Union. The non-White newcomers are changing the face of Canada. Fast.

Yeah, I bitch and whine about life in the Confederation of Canada but I got no choice about it. My new life is here. The State of Massachusetts is where my past lies. I'm doing alright here. I spent the summer traveling across Canada. I visited Calgary, the biggest town in Provincial Alberta, along with the City of Montreal in the Province of Quebec and the City of Toronto in Provincial Ontario. I spent three weeks in the City of Winnipeg, Province of Manitoba. I make the best of it, you know? Got me an apartment, a job working security for twelve bucks an hour and I'm back in school. Things could be worse, for real.