Wanting What She Didn't Have Ch. 04

Bob's schedule did not let up at all and the stress in the house was growing daily. Jill had not mentioned the perfume on his clothes deciding it was probably something totally innocent. Still she felt it was time for her to have a serious talk with him. Her feelings for Bob had not changed at all but being an afterthought in his life was very frustrating. She decided that she would make reservations at his favorite restaurant for Saturday night and tell him her concerns.

Having decided on a plan Jill felt much better and was actually in a good mood when the phone rang. "Hello," she said as she picked up the phone.

"Hi Jill how have you been?"

Jill was immediately apprehensive when she heard Anita's voice on the other side. "Doing good," she replied. "How are you?"

"I am good. I wanted to see if you would like to grab lunch tomorrow. I am in the mood for a girls lunch."

"I don't know Anita," Jill replied. "I really enjoy our lunches and talks but last Friday was not my thing. I know you would like me to get involved but I am not ready to throw away my marriage just because it is going through a little rough spot."

"Look Jill, I have no desire to get you into anything you are not into. Maybe it was a mistake taking you to the party but it was not my idea. Remember it was Jack who suggested it. I think we have a lot in common and it is great to have someone to talk to. What do you say... Mexican?"

Despite her misgivings Jill had to admit that having Anita to talk to had been a good thing. As long as she did not try to get her into the sexual lifestyle that she enjoyed it seemed harmless to have lunch.

"Ok. What time?"

"Why don't we shoot for 11:30 that way we will be able to order before the lunch crowd hits."

"Good idea. I will see you there."

Anita hung up the phone feeling a little guilty. She knew Greg wanted to "accidently" run into them at lunch and she really had misgivings about letting him know Jill had agreed to meet. She wished Greg would just get Jill out of his head but he was not the type to let go once he saw something he wanted.

****************

Thursday Jill walked into the Mexican restaurant and looked around for Anita. She did not see her so she took a booth facing the door and ordered some tea while she waited. She was still wondering if it was a good idea to continue her friendship with Anita. Except for her sexual lifestyle she enjoyed her company and as long as she did not push her Jill felt they could still be friends.

Anita finally came in about 15 minutes late. Looking around she spotted Jill and walked over to her table leaning down to give her a quick hug.

"How have you been," she asked?

"Things are good. Bob is in town for the next few weeks although he is still snowed under at the office. How are you?"

"Things are good. Paul has been working his usual hours so I know how you feel."

The small talk continued for several minutes but there was an obvious undercurrent that was not being addressed. Finally Anita decided to just bring it up and get it out of the way.

"Look...Jill..," she began. "I know I made a big mistake taking you to the party the other night. At the very least I should have been up front about what kind of party it was. I tried to bring it up a few times and I used that as an excuse that I had warned you but I knew you were not really catching on to what I was saying. I apologize. I value our friendship and hope we can get past this. I will not bring up anything more about the parties or that side of my life. Forgive me?"

Jill could see her new friend was really struggling and sincere in her apology.

"It was probably as much my fault. I should have asked more questions. I know you tried to talk about it and I should not have been so naïve. Of course I," she paused.

Jill's face colored and Anita turned to see what she was looking at. Anita was stunned. Walking in was Greg with a big smile on his face. Anita had not told him about lunch and was confused how he suddenly appeared. Turning back to Jill she could see the anger on her face and stuttered, "I did not know he was going to show up.. I promise..".

Greg saw them and strolled over to their table with that same big smile on his face. "My two favorite ladies," he said sliding into the booth by Anita without being asked. Anita robotically slid over so Greg could sit beside her.

"What are you doing here," Anita asked?

"I just happened to be down here and I eat here all the time. How are you doing Jill?"

Jill did not respond and Anita tried to make the best of a bad situation. "We were having a girls lunch Greg. Are you getting something to go." It could not have been more obvious that Anita wanted him to go.

Greg's face clouded briefly before returning to it's original smile.

"I totally understand. Did not mean to interrupt. I will get something to go and be out of your hair."

Motioning to the waiter he placed an order to go but remained sitting waiting for his order.

"How have you been Jill," he asked again?

"I have been good," she replied.

"That is great. I am glad I ran into you. I wanted to apologize for the party last week. I should have taken your suggestion to take Anita's car and leave and I could have given her a ride home. It was thoughtless of me and I should have known you might not be comfortable. I just assumed you knew what you were getting into since you came with Anita and Jack had been part of the group."

Jill knew he was not being truthful because he had explained the party to her while they were alone. Still she could see how he might think she was more open based on Jack being a part of the group.

"You did not just happen to be in the area did you," Jill asked looking at Anita?

"Ok..you caught me," Greg laughed. "And you cannot blame Anita. I ask her to tell me if you guys were meeting for lunch but she kept it to herself. I took a chance since I know Thursday's are usually her least busy days and dropped by here knowing it is her favorite place. I just wanted a chance to apologize."

Jill paused. "Look... Neither of you have anything to apologize for. What you like sexually is your business and as long as you do not try to drag me into it I have no right to say anything about it. I love Bob. He has his faults and I have mine but I am not giving up on my marriage. We can still be friends but I have no plans to attend your parties or be sexually involved with anyone except my husband."

"Fair enough," said Greg. "Bob is a very lucky man and I hope he appreciates what he has. You seemed to be enjoying yourself the other night so if things ever change it would be fun to have you back. And who knows... Bob may like it. We do have one couple who attends."

"I got carried away. And that will not happen again. It was a mistake on my part.

"Good. I am glad that is settled," said Anita. "I would not want to lose a good friend. Now..Greg get your food and leave us girls alone to talk about you."

The waiter had brought Greg's food and leaning over he kissed Anita before grabbing the bag and heading to the register.

******************

Saturday night Jill dressed in Bob's favorite dress, it was sexy without being to revealing. They had reservations at eight at the University club which was downtown overlooking the water. It was a fantastic view and they both enjoyed the food and atmosphere. She wanted to be ready by 7pm so they had plenty of time to get there.

Bob called around 6:30 and Jill immediately had a bad feeling. It was getting to be a habit with him to call at the last minute and cancel plans but to her surprise he was in the car. He would be a few minutes late but would be there in plenty of time. With a big sigh she continued dressing while thinking about how to broach the subject of the evening.

Bob breezed in around 6:45 in a great mood, jumped in the shower and was back out in 10 minutes ready to go. He was a very good looking man and Jill was always proud to be seen with him and tonight would be no different. Heading to the car Bob opened the door for her and gave a low whistle as she slid into the seat. He did appreciate Jill although he did not always show it and he wanted to spoil her tonight.

"You look great tonight," he said sliding into the driver's seat.

"You must be horny," she replied smiling at him. "You look pretty good yourself."

The drive was uneventful as they caught up on each other's day. Dinner was wonderful and they shared the evening and a few drinks. Jill was hesitant to possibly ruin the night by bringing up her concerns but knew that if she did not she would regret it. Plus she owed it to Bob to let him know how she was feeling.

"It would be nice to have more evenings like this," she said. "We do not have enough of them with the hours you have been working."

"I know. It seems as soon as I finish one project and think things will slow down something else is ready to move into any free time I have."

"You know... I feel like your schedule sometimes puts our happiness at risk. I know your career is important to not only you but to us as a family. I just feel like it can be the most important thing to you at times. We need to make more time for us."

"And how do you propose we do that," Bob said. "You know how my job is. Either you are in the game or you settle for a position where you cannot get ahead. It will only be for a few more years and then we will be set."

"A few years!! Listen to yourself. We give up our best years so we can be set 20 years from now. I need you now... not 10 years from now," she said raising her voice.

Bob looked around to see if anyone had overheard Jill's outburst. "No one said 10 or 20 years from now. I said a few years. Enough time for me to move into a VP position where I can have someone else do this kind of thing for me."

"Bob that is not good enough. I want to enjoy the journey with you. Not wait for you to complete it while I sit and wait. I need more than that."

"It is not that bad Jill. You are overreacting. We spend time together and when I am not available you have your friends. You can enjoy all of your girl friend things without me hanging over your shoulder."

Jill was getting very frustrated. "We do not spend time together. Do you realize this is the first time we have been out in almost 6 months? We have only made love 3 times in the last 4 months. Even then it is just a quickie for you to take the edge off so you are not to horny."

"Tell you what. Why don't we enjoy the rest of this weekend. We can set aside a night a week for you and I or for us to get together with some of your friends."

"I don't have friends Bob. They have lives and all I do is sit and wait for you."

"What about your friend you met for lunch Thursday. We can meet her and her husband. Maybe go out for dinner and dancing. Or if you like I can get some of my friends from work and we can all go out."

"Yea right. That way you can talk work all night."

"Ok...I tried. You are ruining a good night with all of this drama."

"Bob you are not listening. I need more of your time... time for you and me. I feel like we are drifting apart," she pleaded.

"What do you want me to do? Find another job at half the pay and you go to work?"

"Forget it. You do not want to see the issue. We are losing what we have now for something we hope to have in the future," Jill replied as she stood to leave.

******************

Anita was starting to be a little concerned about all of the partying she had been doing. Until the last few months she had pretty much stuck with drinking at the parties with her friends but lately had moved to harder drugs. She loved the feeling but knew her judgment concerning sex was greatly diminished when she did them. Greg could get her to do anything once she started using them and he was getting more and more dominant as she continued to see him.

She was meeting Greg and some of the party crew at a local club tonight and she vowed to stay with drinking. Paul did not seem to care at all what she did but she still loved him and did not want to do anything in public that would embarrass him.

As she was putting on the finishing touches her cell phone rang. "Hello," she said into the phone.

"Hi Anita. How are you tonight," asked Jill?

"Jill.. I am surprised to hear from you this late on a Saturday. Is everything ok?"

"I am fine I guess. Just got back in from dinner with Bob. It was not a great night. What are you up to? Care to grab a drink," she asked?

"Well I was just going out to meet some friends. Love to have you come along," she said as she immediately thought that with Jill there she would have more incentive to behave.

"Sounds fun but I do not want to intrude," replied Jill.

"Not at all," answered Anita. "I have to warn you though some of the people from the party will be there. It is a public bar though so it will not be like the party you went to."

Jill was very reluctant. The drive home from dinner had not improved the discussion with Bob and by the time they arrived they were both sitting in stone silence.

"Is it ok if I bring Bob," she asked?

"Sure. I would love to meet him."

"Where are you going and I will meet you there," replied Jill. "I am not sure he will come but I can ask."

"Either way I would love for you to join us. We are headed to a place called the Fly's Tie. It is a little place over on the beach. Can you find it?"

"Yes...I can find it. See you there."

"Ok," said Jill hoping she had not just made a big mistake.

**********************

Jill walked in to the Fly's Tie around 11pm by herself. As she had feared Bob was in no mood to go anywhere and she was in no mood to sit in the house with his moping. She did not see anyone she knew so she picked out a small table and sat down hoping no one would try to join her. Just as the waitress came over Jill saw Anita come out of the bathroom and look around. She was wearing a cute halter top dress that hugged her figure. Spotting her Anita walked over and sat across from her looking to see if Bob was at the bar.

"Did Bob come with you," she asked?

"No. He said he was tired and just wanted to relax at home...you can translate that into mope around the house. We had an argument at dinner and we needed to get away from each other so it was probably best," Jill replied.

"I am sorry sweetie. Our guys can be hard to deal with sometimes. They have their good points but also some bad ones. Need to talk about it," she asked as she motioned for a waitress.

"No. I just want to get it off my mind. I have been wrestling with what to do for weeks and had hoped we could work things out tonight. I probably should have just left it alone."

When the waitress got to the table Anita took charge. "Two water moccasins for each of us. We are ready to have some fun."

"What in the hell are water moccasins," Jill asked laughing.

"My own special brew. It will kick your ass. Just what you need to pull you out of your funk."

"So where is the rest of your crew," Jill asked hoping that maybe they all canceled.

"They are on the other side. There are two sides to the bar with a dance floor over on the other side. I thought you might want a few minutes to talk before we go over and join them," replied Anita.

"Thanks. I will be fine. Just disappointed that things did not go better but I will keep working on it. I am not ready to give up yet."

The drinks arrived and they both took the first shot. Jill tasted the flavor of peach and loved it. With hardly a pause they both took the second shot and Jill stood and said, "Let's go over and join them. I do not want you missing out on my account."

Anita got up and led the way past the bar and the bathroom's over to the other side of the bar where a live band was playing. At a table near the back Jill saw a couple of familiar faces and of course Greg.

Greg saw Anita and Jill in the mirror as they approached and did not turn around choosing to continue talking with Cheryl who had also been at the party. Anita briefly refreshed the names of the people Jill had met and a new man named Earen. Earen was an extremely good looking black man with a great body and wonderful smile.

"Hi Jill," he said smiling. "It is very nice to meet you. I heard I had missed a stunning new female at our last party and I see I was not misinformed. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure. I will have a water moccasin," she said smiling even though she was beginning to feel a little light headed from the first two.

"Ahhh....starting with shots. I knew I liked you."

As Earen walked over to the bar Greg turned as if just seeing Jill.

"Well hello there. I did not expect to see you here. Did your husband come with you?"

"No. He has had a long week and stayed in tonight. I thought I would come out for an hour or so and have a drink with Anita."

"Glad you did and I hope you have a good time," he said as he turned to Anita and whispered something to her.

Anita seemed to hesitate and said something back that Jill could not hear as she shook her head. Greg smiled and turned back to Cheryl virtually ignoring Jill and Anita.

Earen got returned from the bar and handed the drink to Jill and raised his at the same time for a toast.

"To new and beautiful friends," he said and tapped her glass. Together they drank the shots and put the glasses down. Anita had wondered over to the other guys and seemed a little miffed at Greg's lack of attention.

Earen grabbed Jill's hand as the band struck up a new song and pulled her to the dance floor. Although she was not prejudice in any way she was not used to dancing with black men and initially felt a little ackward. Earen soon had her at ease though. He was very easy to talk to and was flirty without making her uncomfortable.

For the next three songs they stayed on the dance floor and enjoyed the music as the alcohol took effect. Returning to their table Jill saw Greg and Anita talking again and after a brief hesitation they walked towards the door.

"Where is Anita going," she asked Earen?

"I think Greg is taking her outside to get some fresh air and maybe a smoke or snort."

Jill and Earen continued to talk and she really liked the attention. "So how long have you been in the lifestyle," he asked.

"I am not really in the lifestyle. My brother Jack used to come to your parties and introduced me to Anita. I went with her but honestly was not expecting it to be that kind of a party."

Laughing Earen said, "That must have been a shock then. I apologize if you felt uncomfortable. Anita should have warned you. I host a few of the parties but usually I am not much of a participant openly. If I meet someone I want to spend time with I usually go some place a little quieter."

"No harm done. I am married and intend to stay that way," she said a little more forcefully than she had intended. Earen sensed she was struggling emotionally with being out without her husband.

"Then he is a lucky man. All marriages have their ups and downs. I commend you for working on yours. I have never been married but I know it can be hard work."

Jill felt like giving him a hug then and there. He was being so nice and was not putting any moves on her. "Thank you. You are sweet."

Seeing Earen's eyes shift to the door Jill turned to see Anita and Greg coming back in. It was obvious that Anita had taken something while she was outside. Greg almost had to hold her up so she could walk. Jill walked over to give her friend a hand.

"Are you ok," asked Jill?

"I am great," Anita said. "Greg has some fantastic blow in his car if you want some. It is just what you need to get your mind off of things."

Greg grabbed Anita's hand and went to the dance floor. Jill watched as they danced and decided Anita was ok and walked back to the table where Earen was sitting.