Wanted: A Black Woman for Nude Day

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A black man posts an ad on Craigslist for a naked black female escort on Nude Day and ends up with a white woman.

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A single, black man looking for a single, black woman, as a Nude Day escort for an afternoon of naked fun and sun at the beach. Do not apply to this ad, if you are uncomfortable being naked or being around others, who are naked. There may be some kissing, hugging, groping, and fondling, but there will be absolutely no sex and no exchange of fluids. There is a $300.00 stipend for your time, trouble, and traveling expenses.

I'm looking for a good looking black woman to play my current girlfriend to make my old girlfriend jealous. Someone possessing not only good looks but also a shapely body, intelligence, and a fun sense of humor, along with some acting skills will get the job.

Please respond to Darnell at the above Craigslist's e-mail address with your name, photo, and phone number.

Not well thought out, Darnell placed his classified ad too late, a week before Nude Day, to find someone to respond. Too wrapped up in his own misery, his decision to attend the Nude Day barbeque was last minute. Besides, even if he had posted his Nude Day ad earlier, he didn't think he'd get anyone, anyway, who'd want to attend a naked Nude Day barbeque with him, a stranger, and spend the day naked with a bunch of other naked strangers. Really, what kind of woman would willingly strip off her clothes and spend the day naked in front of people she didn't even know? Maybe, he thought, someone would respond because he was offering three hundred dollars, but God only knows the kind of woman he'd get, what they'd look like, and how they'd act like in person. He cringed to imagine the folly of his error by placing such a desperately despicable Nude Day advertisement.

Deciding to go to the Nude Day barbeque, after he swore he couldn't bear to see his ex-girlfriend naked and in the arms of another man, who was naked, too, the want advertisement was his last minute, desperate attempt to win his ex-girlfriend, Felicia, back by making her jealous. Having fun just writing the ad and imagining Felicia possessively wild with jealousy, Darnell envisioned his ex-girlfriend begging him to forgive, forget, and restart their relationship. Now, with second thoughts, he should have stopped there, just written the ad without posting it. Honestly, he didn't think he'd receive any response to his advertisement. A hopeless, love sick act to win back his girlfriend, posting an ad was a good idea at the time, but now that he saw it in print, he felt like the pathetic loser that he was.

Even if he received responses to his ad, he had so little time to meet the woman and to make the arrangements for his Nude Day plan. Moreover, having just met the woman, how could he pull it all off without their role playing looking suspect and him looking ridiculous? If anyone answered his cry for help at all, he could only imagine the type of woman, who'd answer such an advertisement for a naked Nude Day escort. He didn't have to wait long to find out the type of woman, who'd answer such a request. He had more than a dozen responses the first day and a dozen more the next day.

"Hi Darnell, my name is Rhonda and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo."

"Hi Darnell, my name is Amanda and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo."

"Hi Darnell, my name is Diane and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo.

"Hi Darnell, my name is Juliet, Delonda, Amber, Tamicka, Kennisha, Elaine, Clairice, and Yolanda..."

"Blah, blah, blah. All the replies read the same. Boring. I can only imagine what they're like in person. Based upon the sameness of their responses, none of these women would fool Felicia. I should have told them to impress me with their intelligence and creativity, instead of with their naked bodies. I should have told them not to send me a naked photo of themselves," said Darnell to his friend, Terrell. "They all look like strippers and/or hookers to me."

"Gees, Darnell, are you kidding me? You have some hot women here. I'd pick any one of these three African American princesses," he said holding up their photos that Darnell printed out on his computer. "They all have big tits. Definitely, you'd make Felicia jealous, when seeing you with any of these three naked Nubian beauties on your arm. If you don't want them, I'll take them," he said with a laugh.

"All they'd have to do is open their mouths to ruin things and make me look like the pathetic, love sick ass that I am, Terrell. I'm trying to get Felicia back by making her jealous and not scare her further away, by making her think that I lost my mind in purposely trying to make her jealous by hiring an escort for the day."

"If you still feel that way about her, then don't go to the Nude Day barbeque. Seeing her in the arms of some other naked Dude will only make you crazy. I don't understand why you'd put yourself through that misery," said Terrell.

"Because we always attended the Nude Day barbeque and these were my friends, long before Felicia was my girlfriend," said Darnell with sadness.

"Maybe you should just forget about her and about the Nude Day barbeque, Darnell. There are plenty of women that would love to date someone like you," said Terrell. "You're a good looking guy with a good job. If I had a sister, I'd want her to date you," said his friend laughing.

"Thanks Terrell, but how can I forget about her, when I still love her? Even if I found someone else, I'd still be thinking of Felicia," he said looking away from Terrell to look out his bedroom window. "You're probably right about the Nude Day barbeque," said Darnell, as if talking to himself. "Maybe I should just stay home and get drunk."

"What about this one? You haven't even opened this one up, yet," said Terrell pointing to Darnell's computer screen.

"Oh, I didn't even see that one." Darnell opened the E-mail, while Terrell took hold of the mouse to open the attachment.

"Wow! Look at her, a white hot babe. She's the best looking one of the bunch. Too bad she didn't respond with a nude photo. Boy, I can only imagine what she'd look like naked."

"Do you mind, Terrell?" Darnell regained control of his mouse. "She is very pretty for a white woman, but I advertised for a black woman," he said looking at her face. "I never expected a white woman would answer the ad, especially one so pretty."

"What difference does the color of her skin make, Darnell?" Terrell suddenly took the high road, a road that he seldom traveled. "In case you've already forgotten what she looked like, Felicia was dark enough to pass as a black woman. Matter of fact, the first time that I met her, I thought she was from the Caribbean.

"Yeah, I suppose," said Darnell. "Actually, if Felicia saw me with this Caucasian beauty, she'd be jealous. Definitely, she'd want me back. Actually, now that I see her photo, this might work."

"That's right," said Terrell laughing. "Once you go black, you never go back to those pasty, white, Casper the Ghost men."

"I never dated a white woman," said Darnell with a face full of consternation. "I'd be nervous about taking her through this neighborhood. The sisters are worse than the brothers, when mixing white with black. Moreover, what in the Hell would we talk about? What would we have in common?"

"She's no different than Felicia and, when you first dated, you had plenty to talk about and plenty in common," said Terrell.

"That's true," said Darnell staring at the white woman's headshot.

"Besides, Darnell, what you're doing is hardly a date. She's nothing more than an escort for the day. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky? I'd like to get lucky with her, that's for sure," said Terrell. "I'd love to see her on her knees with her white, pretty mouth stuffed full with my cock."

"She is pretty hot looking, even if she is white," said Darnell.

"What did she write, Darnell? What did she write?" Terrell leaned over his shoulder. "Tell me. What did she write?"

"Gees, Terrell. You're worse than a woman. Give me a minute to read my own e-mail," he said.

"Read it out loud," said Terrell.

"Okay," said Darnell.

"Dear Darnell,

I never responded to anything like this on Craigslist or anywhere before, but I felt compelled that I should. I don't know why. Life is all about taking chances and if I don't put myself out there, I'll never meet Mr. Right. Are you Mr. Right. I don't know. Your ad wasn't for someone to date but for someone to act as a onetime escort and I realize that, but you never know. Not that skin color makes a difference to me, but having grown up in a white neighborhood, I never dated a black man. Looking for a new adventure, however, I'm curious to know what I'm missing by not including minorities in my search for love."

"Oh, boy, Darnell, be careful. This one is looking for love. This one is looking to have your baby," said Terrell with a laugh.

"Shhh. Let me finish reading what she wrote," said Darnell.

"Now, about being naked in front of strangers, Darnell, I'm no prude, but I'm not a slut either. So long as everyone else is naked and the men attending are respectful of me being naked, I wouldn't mind being naked, too. I should tell you upfront though, that I'm looking more for love than for a good time, if not with you, perhaps, they'll be someone else there at the beach party with whom I can make a connection."

"See? I told you, Darnell. She's looking for love. She's looking to have your baby."

"Gees, Terrell. Lemme finish reading this," said Darnell. "Okay?" Darnell returned to finish what Samantha wrote.

"Don't worry. Even if I connect with someone else, I won't forget to play my role in making your girlfriend jealous. Attached is my photo taken of me last month.

Samantha."

"Wow. Even though she has a white name, instead of a proud African name, I even like her name," said Terrell. "Samantha, Samantha, Samantha, with three syllables, she has a musical name. Samantha, Samantha, Samantha, if you don't take her, Darnell, can I invite her to the Nude Day barbeque? Samantha, Samantha, Samantha," said Terrell acting as if she was in the room and he was holding her in his arms. "She's gorgeous. I only wish she had sent a naked photo of herself. I can't tell, if she has big tits or not from just a headshot. I wonder if the baby got back," he said with a laugh. "I hate those skinny, white bitches that don't have much of an ass. Still, with or without clothes, she's the best looking one of the bunch."

"Stand on the chair Terrell and look at the photo from that angle. Maybe you can see a down photo to see her tits and ass," said Darnell with a smile.

"Funny, Darnell, very funny," looking at his friend with confusion, while pausing. "Do you think that I could see more of her, if I stood on the chair?"

"Get down from the chair, Terrell. You're making an ass of yourself," said Darnell.

"Just kidding," said Terrell looking disappointed that he couldn't see any more of Samantha by standing on the chair and looking down at her photo, as if he could see a down blouse view of her.

"Yeah, for sure, she is very pretty and she appears to be the most intelligent one of the bunch, too. I'll need to meet her first, of course. I can ask her out for a cup of coffee to see what she's like in person," said Darnell. "For this to work, we'd have to hit it off and be compatible, as if we really are boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Okay, yeah, sure," said Terrell, while wiping his hand across his mouth, as if he was a man dying of thirst. He opened the attachment again to stare at her photo. "Print out her picture Darnell," said Terrell never removing his eyes from Samantha's pretty picture on the computer screen. "Meeting her first is a good idea. So, when do we meet her?"

"We? We don't meet her. I'll meet her," said Darnell closing the attachment and shutting down his computer.

That Monday, less than a week before the Nude Day barbeque on Saturday, Darnell arranged to meet Samantha at Starbucks. Seeing her through the window, as soon as he approached the coffeehouse and recognizing her immediately, she was already seated at a small, corner table. Never attracted to a white woman before, she seemed different, friendlier and not stuck up, as his white co-workers were at work. Suddenly, with a feeling that he knew her before in another life, he looked at her with curiosity.

As if there was a light shining over her head, it was funny how he spotted her so quickly. Hoping she didn't look up, he slowed his steps, while watching her through the glass. He wanted to get a good look at her first, without her knowing that he was staring. He was glad that she wasn't the type to make an entrance by arriving late. He hated those types of self-centered women.

Prettier than her picture, she looked even better in person. If Terrell was here, he'd definitely approve of her. If Terrell was here, he'd make a play for him himself. If Terrell was here, he'd say and/or do the wrong thing, as he always says and does, and scare her away. As soon as he walked through the door, their eyes met and, as if this was meant to be, it was odd how he already felt a strong connection to her.

"Hi, I'm Darnell," he said smiling and shaking her hand, when she stood.

Tall and shapely in the way of Venus and Serena Williams, Halle Berry, Beyonce Knowles, and Tyra Banks, but so much prettier than all of them, she was a vision of sexuality to behold.

"Samantha. Nice to meet you, Darnell," she said making eye contact.

Taking one another all in, they looked at one another, while smiling. Without doubt, she was spectacular looking and he wondered what she thought of him. He couldn't help but think why someone who looked like her would answer an advertisement such as his Craigslist ad.

"Please, sit," said Darnell.

"Thank you," said Samantha.

If first impressions meant anything at all to him and they did, he liked her. Still pining over Felicia, on a day that he was nervous about meeting Samantha, she was bright and colorful enough to make him momentarily forget his ex-girlfriend, something he hasn't done since they separated. Dressed in a pretty, green sundress that not only electrified her green eyes but also displayed her abundant cleavage, she wore her blonde hair in the way that Kim Basinger wore her hair in Nine 1/2 Weeks, in Batman, and in L. A. Confidential. Across her shoulders and cascading down the top of her back, her hair was her lioness mane. He figured, being that he was a Leo the lion and knew a lot of Leos, especially Leo women, by evidence of her lush, long hair and in the way that she wore it, that she was a Leo, no doubt, too.

"What can I get for you at the counter?"

"Just a small, black coffee with no sugar."

"We have something in common, already," he said with a smile. "That's how I take my coffee, too. Would you like a pastry. a cookie, a brownie, or a muffin with your coffee?"

Suddenly, he felt like a steward on a plane asking a beautiful female passenger, if he could get her something from the galley, coffee, tea, or me? Only, better than being stuck 30,000 feet in a flying tube, even though his head was still up in the clouds, he was down on the ground in a Starbuck's coffeehouse with the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Only, with racism alive and well in modern day society, she was a white woman and a strike against him, he was a black man. Then, he realized that she answered his ad knowing that he was a black man. Nonetheless his or her preference for color, if only his mother could see him now, lusting over a white woman, she wouldn't be amused.

"Oh, no thanks," she said with a smile that warmed his heart and hardened his cock.

He turned to look at her from the back, when standing at the counter. He couldn't help himself from staring at her, she was so stunningly beautiful, even from the back. Athletic looking from the front, with C cup breasts that were raised as high as her shoulders were pushed back, from the back, with her perfect V shaped posture, she had the figure of an Olympic swimmer or a competitive tennis player. He could only imagine what she'd look like naked and in bed. while sweaty and screaming in orgasmic pleasure.

Wishing he could see her from behind, while she was standing, leaning, or bending, no doubt, he wondered if she had a perfect ass, too, and not one of those flat asses that so many white women have. Out of all the women there in the restaurant and even counting some of the attractive baristas behind the counter, she was the prettiest woman in the place. Definitely, she had the best body in the place. Eager to return to the table to talk to her, especially with what she wrote in mind, about looking for love, not wanting her taken by someone else, he noticed a couple of white men already eyeing her. So much better looking, taller, and shapelier than the present bachelorette, Emily, easily, he could see her as a contestant on the Bachelorette and commanding the attention of twenty-five bachelors, while hoping that she'd fall in love with them.

"I was just wondering about your zodiac sign," he said giving her his best Reggie Bush smile, when returning to the table with their coffees.

His friends all agreed that he could pass for Reggie Bush's double. Even Terrell, jealously and reluctantly agreed with that assessment of his clean cut, good looks.

"Yes," she said shooting him her smile again.

She looked even prettier, when she smile.

"Are you a Leo?"

"I am," she said beaming. "How did you know?"

"Your hair is a dead giveaway," he said. "All Leos, especially Leo women wear their hair long and full, like a lion's mane," he said with a chuckle. "I'm a Leo, too," he said pretending he had long hair, while shaking his head.

"What day were you born?"

"July 26th," said Darnell.

"And you?"

"August 12th," said Samantha.

"Well, so far so good. We both take our coffee the same way and we're both Leos. What do you do for work?"

"I'm an editor. I write teaching manuals, but I really want to write fiction," she said flashing her passion for writing across her face. "I have an MFA from Emerson College. Creative writing, not technical writing, is my love."

"Nice," he said. "That's another thing we have in common. I'm a writer, too," said Darnell smiling that they had writing in common, too.

"Three for three, we take our coffee the same way, are both Leos, and are both writers. That's so uncanny that we already have so much in common," she said. "What do you write?"

"Fiction. I only write fiction," said Darnell. "Unless I surrender my novelist dreams to writing crappy, little e-Books, it's impossibly difficult to publish fiction. Presently, the popular mainstream writers have the market in a stranglehold. Afraid of losing money, publishers don't want to risk taking the chance on a new writer, unless they think there may be a movie attached to the book deal," he said with a sad smile. "Did you know that 97% of everything published is non-fiction?"

"Really? No kidding. I didn't know that. That's a terrible statistic for a fiction writer," she said. "When counting newspapers, biographies, autobiographies, travel guides, journals, magazines, and even coupon supplements, non-fiction ruling over fiction makes sense."

"After not being able to publish any of my novel length manuscripts, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I started writing erotic stories, while hoping someone would discover me. Use it or lose it, writing erotica is just something that forces me to write every day."

"So, you're the man behind all those dirty stories that my perverted uncle reads," she said with a laugh.