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Frank and Doris

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It started when my cousin Tom set up a bachelor party for his brother, my cousin James. I was invited and I of course accepted and said I would be there. This did not set well with my wife Doris. Doris had an extremely low opinion of bachelor parties because of what she had seen on her side of the family.

Her brother Sam had attended one, had partaken of the offer made by the hired stripper to 'entertain' anyone with the proper amount of cash and had ended up with a case of VD which he was unable to adequately explain to his wife. Her cousin Ron had left his wife and two children and had run off with the hired entertainment at a bachelor party that he had attended. Her father had gotten drunk at a bachelor party and had wrecked his car and put himself in the hospital for a week. No indeed, Doris was not at all happy with me for accepting the invitation.

I pointed out that she had gone to a bachelorette party or two where they had male strippers come in and she said that was different.

"In what way?"

"There is no way a male stripper can do what a female stripper does at a man's bachelor party."

"Explain that to me please."

"A female stripper can take her panties off, lay back and take on every man there until they are done. So guys are more likely to take advantage of the opportunity. A male stripper at a girl's party can only go once or maybe twice so since they can't all be helped girls tend to behave themselves."

"Do you have any idea of how stupid that sounds?"

"It is a well known fact that women can control themselves and men can't."

"Do you know just how stupid THAT sounds?"

"I don't want to fight over this Frank. I don't want you going to Jim's bachelor party. Take him out to dinner or something, but I don't want you going to that party."

"What you are saying Doris is that you don't trust me. After two years of going together, two years of living together and eight years of marriage you don't know me any better than that? Well I'm going Doris and that's final."

It wasn't of course. There were still nine days to go before the party and Doris used those nine days to do whatever she could to get me not to go. Things were pretty chilly around the house as she pretty much ignored me. Her big gun of course was her control of the little furry patch between her legs. We normally made love three or four times a week, but for nine days all I heard was:

"Not tonight Frank. I'm not feeling well."

There was also the perennial favorite, "Not tonight; I've got a headache."

It was clear to me that if I did go the dry spell could continue long after the party was a memory, but I can be just as stubborn and pig headed as Doris and I was going and that was final. We lived in a state where spousal rape was not a crime and I could have just taken what I wanted, but the aftermath of that wasn't worth contemplating.

I was able to strike back all be it in a limited way. Every Friday night I always – without fail – took Doris out to dinner. Friday when I came home from work Doris was dressed and ready to go out. I went into the bedroom that I had turned into a home office/den, sat down at the desk and turned on the computer. When I didn't come down dressed for dinner Doris came looking for me. She came into the room and said:

"What are you doing? Why aren't you getting ready for dinner?"

"I'm too busy cruising the Internet looking for some good porn sites.

"You are what?"

"Looking for some good porn. I'm horny as hell since you cut me off and I'm looking for some good material that I can use to masturbate to. You can watch if you'd like."

The slamming of the door as she left pretty much told me that she wasn't interested in being a spectator.

Saturday I was up and out of the house before Doris woke up. I had a standing golf date with three friends every Saturday and our tee time was ten after six and Doris wouldn't get up until eight or so. She had a standing appointment at the beauty parlor at eleven and she would usually just be coming home as I got in from my round of golf at Red Ridge. Doris was going to miss her appointment that morning because I took her car instead of my pick up. Her car had an automatic transmission and my truck was a stick and Doris couldn't drive a stick shift. I know it doesn't sound like much in the way of fighting back, but when you are 'game playing' you have to take what you can get.

To say that Doris was pissed off when I got home would be an understatement. I ignored her and got ready to go to Jim's bachelor party. I got one last "Damn it Frank; I told you I don't want you going to that party" and I ignored her as I walked out of the house, got in my truck and headed for the party.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

It was your typical bachelor party. There were seventeen guys there and I knew and liked most of them. I say most because Mel Timmonds was there and I didn't like him one little bit. He had always had the hots for Doris and he had tried several times to break us up before we got married.

There were three tables set up for poker. It was nickel, dime, quarter, dealer's choice with a three raise limit so no one was going to get hurt. Two hours into the game (which was being held in Jim's apartment) the doorbell rang and Tom answered it to find two female cops standing there. One said:

"Your neighbors are complaining about the noise. Whose place is this?"

Tom pointed to Jim and the two walked over to Jim and quick as a wink one of them slapped handcuffs on him as she said:

"You are under arrest."

The cuffs were real and not fake. One of the cops began to read Jim his rights, the "You have the right to remain silent" and all that jazz. Until that point everyone thought the girls were strippers. I could tell from the look on Tom's face that he hadn't been expecting it and a close look at their uniforms seemed to tell that they weren't fake. Everyone was starting to worry about what was happening until the one reading Jim his rights said:

"You have the right to have a hard cock when Missy gives you a lap dance" and as she said that she took a mini cassette recorder out of her pocket and stripper type music began the play as the other lady cop started peeling off her uniform. From that point on it was just the kind of bachelor party that Doris had envisioned. The two girls took on every guy there who wanted to play and a couple of times both girls were doing three at once. I'd heard of 'airtight' and I knew what it was, but I had never seen it. It was wild and I'm not going to say that I wasn't tempted.

But I didn't take it. I just watched the action and allowed myself to get all steamed up even knowing that my only outlet was going to be my right hand when I went home. I was watching Tom, Jim and Mark doing the one named Missy when Mel came up to me and said:

"You aren't going to play?"

"Nope. No way! If I did and Doris found out she would throw me out on my ear. You know, the marriage vow thing and all that."

"Tough luck guy; these are two choice ladies and they know what they are doing. I've never had better."

He went over to the other girl, Donna was her name, and since she had an open hole Mel promptly filled it. As I watched I had to wonder why I didn't just say "To hell with Doris" and join in. I mean I was a man and I needed sex and Doris wouldn't give me any and I was in an apartment with two girls who would. It wouldn't be 'love' and there would be no emotional involvement. It would just be sex for the sake of sex so why not? A couple of times I caught myself reaching for my zipper or belt buckle, but at the last second I stopped myself.

Shortly before the party started breaking up both girls came up to me and Missy said:

"What's the matter honey; don't either of us appeal to you?"

"Just the opposite. I'm dying to take on both of you, but unfortunately I have a character flaw."

"A character flaw?" asked Donna. "What kind of character flaw?"

"There is this silly thing inside my head that says I have to stay faithful to my wife."

"Really" Donna said, "I didn't think there were any good guys left out there. I'm going to have to give you my number in case your wife is ever silly enough to let you get away."

"That goes double for me honey" Missy said, "I would love to have a guy who thinks like that."

Tom and am came up and took them by the arm and led them away and as I watched two delightful asses walk away from me I was thinking, "You do gangbangs at parties and you want a guy like me? Go figure."

The party started breaking up and soon it was down to just Tom, Jim, the two girls and me. I was reasonably sober so I stuck around to help with the clean up. Donna and Missy came up to me and Donna said:

"You have to at least give us a kiss sugar" and Missy giggled and said, "No charge of course." They both kissed me and both of them did slip me a piece of paper with their phone numbers on them. Donna said:

"I meant what I said sugar. If your wife is dumb enough to let you go call me."

The two of them left and Tom, who had been the money collector for the two said:

"I should have been born a sexy looking babe. Those two just spent four hours thoroughly enjoying themselves and they walked out of here with twenty-three hundred dollars to split between them and that doesn't even count the four hundred they got for coming here to do the strip tease. That's almost three hundred and forty dollars an hour."

We cleaned the place up and I left, but the night wasn't over for me yet. When I got outside I found the two girls standing in front of a Ford Focus with the hood up. I walked up and asked:

"Got a problem?"

"It won't start."

I went to my truck, got the flashlight from the glove box and came back to take a look.

"You girls are out of luck tonight" I said. "Your positive battery cable terminal is corroded and split in half. There aren't any parts houses open at this time of night so the car is dead until tomorrow."

"Shit!" Missy said. Now what?"

"We call a cab" Donna said.

"At this time of night? We will be here for hours."

"No you won't" I said. "I'll run you to where you need to go. I don't work tomorrow so I'll hit a parts store, get what is needed to fix it and we can come back and get it going."

"Oh God; you are a life saver sugar" Donna said and we got in my truck and I ran them home.

It turned out that it was Donna's car, but they were roommates so I only had one place to drive to. When I got them to their place I made arrangements to swing by and pick Donna up in the morning at ten.

When I got home I found the bedroom door locked. I remembered a John Wayne movie where his wife had locked him out of the bedroom and he had kicked the door down as he yelled, "There will be no locked doors in this house" and I briefly contemplated doing the same thing, but reason prevailed. If I kicked it in I'd be the one repairing or replacing it and unless I was going to commit spousal rape there wasn't anything on the other side of the door for me except the bed and the living room couch was just as comfortable.

Comfortable couch or not I was not in a good mood when I got up that morning. Doris was still in bed so I fixed myself some breakfast and I was sitting at the table eating when Doris came into the room. She looked around and then said:

"Where's mine?"

"You haven't fixed it yet" I said as I got up and put my dirty dishes into the dishwasher and headed for the door to the garage.

"Where are you going Frank?

"To pick up Donna and then go over to Jim's place and fix her car."

"Who is Donna?"

"One of the strippers from last night."

"You are going to pick up a stripper? I suppose you fucked her last night huh? Going back for more?" she sneered.

"What do you care? You don't want to give me any so what's it to you?" And then, because I'm male and males can be inherently stupid around females I let my mouth run away. "And it brings up a thought Doris. You like sex as much as I do so you must be hurting just as much as I am. Or are you? Maybe you aren't suffering at all. Maybe you have a boyfriend on the side to keep you happy while you are keeping me miserable. Is that it Doris? You been hanging horns on me?"

I could see the shock on her face as I unloaded and it did my heart good.

"Got to go. Donna expects me at ten."

I headed for the door.

"Frank? You get your ass back here. We need to talk. We need to settle this now."

"The only thing we need Doris is for you to apologize for being an absolute bitch for the last two weeks."

I walked out into the garage and got my cable cutting tool and my cable swagger from my tool box and then went to pick up Donna. We hit a parts store and got the terminal end we needed and then drove over to Jim's place to fix her car.

On the way she asked me why I looked so sour and I was just in the right mood to tell her the entire story.

"So on top of her disliking bachelor parties she thinks you strayed last night?"

"That pretty much sums it up."

"You want me to call her and tell her what actually happened?"

"God no! That would only make it worse. She would figure that I put you up to it and that you were lying for me. As it is she thinks I with you now to have more sex."

"All I can say sugar, is that if things go south between the two of you give me a call." She looked at me for a second or so and then said, "But you won't, will you. I'm just a whore and who wants anything to do with a whore, right?"

"Don't be stupid Donna. You are a lovely woman and you seem likeable. I'm betting that we could be real good friends, but as long as I'm married it can never be any more than that. That includes any split that comes between me and my wife. I will not break my wedding vows as long as I'm still legally married to my wife. If a divorce does happen and you are still around you will be one of the first I call."

She gave me another long look and then said, "I do believe that you mean that."

"I do sweetie; I do."

She leaned over and kissed me. "I haven't met very many really nice guys in my life sugar, but you go to the top of the list of the few that I know."

We got to Jim's and I fixed her car and waited until she started and drove off before heading home. When I got home Doris wasn't there. I went out to the garage and did an oil change on the truck and when Doris still wasn't home I fixed myself some leftovers, ate and then settled down in front of the TV.

Doris came in about seven and didn't say a word as she walked through the house and into the kitchen. I heard her rattling around as she fixed herself something to eat and about twenty minutes later she came into the living room and stood there with her hands on her hips as she said:

"Want to know where I've been?"

I looked over at her and said, "No."

"Maybe I've been out looking for a stud since you have a stripper."

You need to understand my mindset at that moment. She had been a bitch to me for almost two weeks and had cut me off to try and force me to do what she wanted. I was pissed and I'd had enough so I said:

"I doubt that you were looking. Most likely you were just out fucking the guy that you have been fucking ever since you cut me off."

I looked back at the TV as she yelled, "You bastard! How can you think that of me?"

"It is just as easy for me to think that of you as it is for you to think that of me. Besides, didn't you just say you were out looking?"

She turned and left the room and I went back to watching TV. I decided to get to bed early to avoid the locked door again and I was in bed reading when Doris came into the bedroom.

"I don't want you in here with me" she said.

"Tough shit Doris. I slept on the couch last night so if you don't want to be in here with me you can sleep on the couch tonight."

She left the room and slammed the door behind her.

I was up and gone to work before Doris woke up and I rather liked the fact that I could start my day without having more bad words with her.

+++++++++++++++++++++

When I got home from work that evening as I pulled into the drive I saw a bunch of stuff scattered across the front yard. When I got out of the truck I could see that it was my clothes. My clothes!! In fact, it looked like all my clothes were on the lawn. What the fuck was Doris doing now?

The door was locked so I pt my house key in the lock and it wouldn't work. I went around back and tried that door. Same thing. Doris had locked me out of the house. That was it!!! The straw that broke the camel's back. I went back to the truck and got the tire iron from behind the seat and walked back up on the porch. Since it was Doris who was going to have to clean up the mess I used the tire iron on the large picture window and then I went into the house. I grabbed a bunch of garbage bags and went out and gather up all my clothes and put them in the back of the truck.

I went through the house and took everything that I wanted. I had a separate savings account that I put ten percent of my pay into every payday to save money for vacations so before I unhooked the computer I went online and transferred everything out of our savings and checking accounts into the vacation account that Doris didn't have access to. I used the phone to call and cancel all of our credit cards and I only kept the American Express that was in my name only that I used for business travel.

I don't know what Doris thought she was doing, but she should have known that I wouldn't sit still for it. Lock me out of the house will she? Let's just see how she likes living alone with no credit and no money except for what she made at her job.

I drove away from the house and headed for a motel close to work. I was just carrying the last of my stuff into the motel room when my cell phone rang. I looked at the display and saw that it wasn't Doris so I took the call.

"Hello?"

"Frank? This is Ray Hendrickson. I may be sticking my nose into something that's none of my business but I thought I'd let you know that Doris is at The Hitching Post with Mel Timmonds and they are being pretty chummy."

"Define chummy for me Ray."

"They are sitting side by side in one of the back booths. Mel has his arm around her and he was nuzzling her neck. She wasn't doing anything to fight him off."

"Thanks for the heads up Ray. I appreciate it."

So the cunt was finally giving Mel what he had always been after. Well fuck her!

++++++++++++++++++++++

When I got to work the next morning Stella, our receptionist, had several messages for me. Three of them were from Doris and I dropped them in the trash without reading them. I told Stella that I didn't want to take calls from Doris and to tell her I was in a meeting or out of the office.

"Then again you can just tell her that I told you that under no circumstances did I want to hear her voice and I told you not to put her through."

"Trouble on the home front?"

"Not for much longer."

About ten o'clock things slowed down enough that I could get on the phone and call a friend who had just gone through a divorce and I got the name of the attorney he used. I called and made an appointment for the next day. I wasn't quite ready for the divorce yet, but I did want to know what I was looking at if push came to shove.

There was a bar across the street from the motel and before going to my room I stopped in and had a few beers and watched the basketball game that was on their TV. I had no interest in either team, but it did give me something to do.

The next day I got the bad news from the attorney. We lived in what was called 'a no fault' state so any divorce was going to result in an even split of assets and since I made almost twice what Doris did I was going to have to pay her alimony. Also, since I would be the one filing I would, along with my attorney's fees be responsible for all court costs. In addition to that if Doris fought the divorce I could, depending on the judge, get hit with having to pay her attorney fees. The only thing I had going for me was that we had no kids.

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