I Dearly Want To Help My Brother

NOTE: This story deals with sexuality and is intended for adults. All characters are fictional, and everyone is 18 years old or older.

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I was alone at home, thinking about my beautiful brother John, and how lately he seems so sad. As his little sister, I was really worried about him.

He was home from college for a visit and he's been acting so tense. He just left the house a little while ago to go to our local library and I could tell that something was wrong.

My phone rang and somehow I knew it was him calling. Right away I heard that nervous tone to his voice. We spoke for just a little bit and I was concerned about how he sounded.

He said, "Oh Sis, you're the only one I can talk to, and I'm a little bit scared."

When I heard him say that, I could tell he needed to confide something that was really scary for him; he seemed so shaky as he spoke.

I asked, "Is everything okay?"

He replied in a really sad voice, "I'm not sure, I've been - well - I've been feeling - I don't know - sort of obsessed lately, and I don't understand what's happening."

"What do you mean by obsessed?"

"I'm not sure, I feel like I'm stuck thinking about one thing. It just spins in my mind, over and over."

I didn't know what he meant, but I could tell he was worried, and I felt such a deep need to comfort him.

I asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I'm not sure, I mean, you are my little sister, and I don't know if it would be - well - if it would be okay to tell you."

"If you want to talk, it's okay, you shouldn't feel shy sharing anything with me."

There was a pause, and I could hear him breathing.

Then he said, "I'll be home tonight after I finish up with everything at the library. Let's talk then, it would really help me, okay?"

"Good, I want to help."

"I'm not sure when I'll be home."

"I'll be here, don't worry."

"I'm feeling all mixed up, I even forgot my computer, it's still on my desk in my room, I kind of need it with me here at the library, but I guess I'll get along without it."

"You forgot it?"

"Yeah, it's been really hard to focus lately."

We spoke just a little bit longer, and I tried to say a few nice things to try and make him feel better, but he just seemed so lost. I told him that I would do anything to help him, and he thanked me.

Just like always, he ended all our phone call by saying, "I love you Sis."

And I replied, "I love you too John."

I know that a brother and sister saying 'I love you' must sounds funny, but it feels really honest.

We hung up and I sat there on my bed feeling worried.

There has always been a really powerful connection between us, a closeness that just feels wonderful. It's really important to me to be open and honest with John, I mean - we have a kind of magical attachment to each other that's hard to describe.

We seemed to be connected in a funny way. I remember once when we were little kids, Mom got mad at him and she went into his room and she spanked him. I know this sounds crazy, but I could feel a sharp pain on my own bottom and I started crying. I was experiencing his emotions so intensely. I have other stories like that too, but what I'm saying is that I can feel what my brother is feeling in a way that is almost mystical.

And over the last few weeks I've been feeling all nervous and obsessed, and I knew something was going on with John even though he was way off at college.

When he called last week to tell me he was coming home for a visit, I was so relieved. I was so eager to help him.

He's so adorable, and I was really excited to see him again after our time apart with him at college. I'm so glad he came home again during a break, but he's been acting so distant and sad. He has been doing a lot of work on a poetry project, and it's required that he's been spending a lot of time at the local library.

I've been so desperate to spend time with him, I just love him SO much, but it's been awkward because he seems so troubled. It felt good that he asked me to talk with me. I care about him so much, and I'll do anything to help him.

My brother and I were at the house alone. Mom and Dad were away for a week, and they trusted us to take care of ourselves. Both of us are really good kids, we don't have any desire for a party or staying out late. We are both a little bookish and quiet compared to a lot of the other kids at school.

John is just a year older than I am. I'm a senior in high school and I just turned eighteen, but I still feel like I'm still in that awkward teenager phase. Whenever we talk, I can tell my brother really loves me, he's always so kind and he really treats me wonderfully.

I sat there on my bed trying to make sense of what John had told me. Maybe all the poetry he's been reading has made him feel all mixed up. I know that must seem silly, but I wanted any kind of clue as to why he's been feeling so upset.

During the call, he used the term "obsessed" and he said, "I feel like I'm stuck thinking about one thing over and over," and that really worried me.

Maybe it was some poem he was obsessed about? Maybe there was a clue on his computer?

I got off my bed and left my room and walked the few steps to his room, it was right next to mine.

I felt so sneaky being in his room while he was away at the library. I thought maybe I could find some clue that would help me understand his anxious mood, but everything seemed normal and tidy.

I did notice a big bottle of baby oil on his nightstand. This was the same bottle we used together last summer when we were lying in the sun at the lake. I remember how he would rub it on my back, and how wonderful it smelled.

Then I looked for his computer. His laptop was on his desk, and I sat in his chair and turned it on. While it was warming up I realized how sneaky this might seem, but all I wanted was to better understand why he's been acting so upset.

After just a few seconds, there was a bright clear image on the screen.

The image on my brother's computer desktop was from last summer when we spent time at our family cabin on the lake. The picture was of him and me sitting close together on the dock. I forgot about that beautiful moment. We spent the whole day together lying in the sun and swimming, and he took a bunch of pictures with his camera.

The photo was really wonderful, both of us were wearing bathing suits and we were all wet and glistening in the afternoon sunshine. The way the image was framed we were both sitting on the dock facing the camera with our feet in the cold water. We both had great big smiles, and we had our arms around each other and our faces were touching in a cute loving way. It was a perfectly sweet photo, and I was so delighted that John had made it his desktop image.

My brother is fit and trim, and he looked absolutely beautiful.

I was snug against him, wearing that yellow bikini I had since I was in Jr. high school, and it looked a little bit tight, but at the same time, it looked sort of cute. Even though I'm a senior in high school, I'm still really tiny. But at the same time it was funny to realize that my old yellow bikini still fit me pretty well.

My brother John always describes me as petite, and that's a really nice way of saying that I'm small. I actually like it when he says that, and I sure looked petite in this photo.

The fact is that I'm tiny all over, I'm short, and I have short hair and narrow shoulders. My hips aren't too wide and I have a sort of small butt.

As looked at my image in the photo, I was, as always, immediately fixated on my tiny breasts. They are just so small, it's like they aren't there at all. I guess they are sort of cute, and they looked pretty in the yellow bikini top, but I just feel like a little tiny girl sometimes. I have little tiny trainee breasts. Well, anyway, that's what I call them. I guess they stopped growing when I was about twelve years old. It's embarrassing, I mean - I'm eighteen years old now, but my breasts are still in the sixth grade.

I mean, it's funny, I can get all fixated my breasts. Yes, I know, this must sound weird, but I just can't help it. I can get obsessive about them.

Oh God - looking at that photo, I was suddenly totally ashamed to realize the effect the cold water had on my breasts. I was shocked at how my nipples looked so prominent. It's embarrassing, even though I have almost NO boobs, my nipples can get really big sometimes. It can be SO awkward, I don't understand it. This photo was taken right after my brother and I went swimming in that icy cold lake, and my tight wet yellow bikini top made my nipples look ridiculously prominent.

It's funny, I mean, sometimes my nipples are just SO obvious - and even in this sweet smiling photo with me and my beautiful brother sitting side by side, my nipples stand out in a way that's totally embarrassing.

And then I looked at the rest of the photo, the way I was sitting on the dock with my feet hanging off into the water, my knees were facing the camera. And I could easily see in between my legs and you could see the defined outline of my - well - my vagina lips. Their outline was SO obvious under the of my old yellow bikini bottoms. The tight fabric was wet from swimming, and it was easy to see. Was I the only person to see this?

Oh my God - Had my brother noticed how obvious it was too?

It seemed sort of funny that my own brother would pick THIS picture as his desk-top image. I mean, he MUST have noticed the defined outline of my hard nipples and my vagina lips under the wet fabric of my tight yellow bikini. I mean, it's just SO obvious.

The reason I snuck into my brother's room was because I wanted to know if he had been looking at poetry. So I clicked on the thing that let me see his web history, because I wanted to know what he had been looking at on-line.

I was a little confused when the listing popped up on screen, because it was the same web page address repeated over and over, filling the window from top to bottom. At fist I thought it must me some sort of computer glitch, because it looked like just a repeating list.

Part of me was thinking that maybe this was what my brother was hinting at when he said he was worried that he was obsessed about something. I mean, the long list of the same thing over and over looked sort of strange.

I thought for a moment, and then I clicked on the link, and a video screen came up. It took a little while for the image to load, and I was almost ready to click away to something else, but I waited.

The first thing to appear on the screen was the image of a teenaged girl lying on a bed. She was on her back, with her head on a pillow. My first thought was that she was pretty. She had short hair in sort of little-girl pig-tails, and she was wearing a simple white tank-top style shirt.

I couldn't figure it out, the imagery in this movie was nice and peaceful, and it was really high quality compared to the grainy images I've seen on other on-line videos. It was nicely photographed so everything looked crisp and clear on the small computer screen.

There wasn't much to see of the room she was in, but it seemed like a normal teenager's bedroom, and it felt like there was only one light next to her on a night stand.

At first I thought she might be sleeping, but as the camera moved a little closer, I could see her eyes were open, and she was looking into the camera.

It was funny, her hair looked so cute, her short little pig-tails made her look younger than she was.

I watched as she stretched both her arms up over her head and let them lay on the bed. This pose made her breasts look smaller, and everything about it seemed really pretty.

I wasn't sure what this was, but there was something peaceful and tranquil about the whole thing. The camera moved in towards the girl's face. I feel so silly saying this, because I can't really help it, but I sort of compared the girl and how she looked to the way I look.

It felt funny, because she looked a little bit like me. She might be about my age, but I think I might be a little bit younger.

The camera just hovered above her face, and she looked up from the pillow, looking right into the camera. It was spooky, because it felt like she was looking right at me.

She had light brown hair, and it was straight, a little bit like mine, but mine is a little bit more blond and maybe a little bit shorter. Her eyes were brown and mine are blue. I immediately noticed her lips, they seemed a little bit small, but that's probably just because mine are sort of big. It's funny, I don't know what to think, everyone says my smile is cute, but I feel embarrassed sometimes. But, even though I'm a little self conscious, I've always thought it was so sweet whenever my brother compliments my smile.

Then I head a boy's voice off camera. He sounded tender and honest as he whispered, "You are so beautiful."

Then there was a boy's hand that came into the frame, I wasn't sure if it was the same person who was holding the camera or not, but the hand gently caressed the girl's hair and her cheek. She smiled meekly as she looked up. It was really pleasant to watch, there was something so sweet about it.

And then the pretty girl softly whispered, "This feels nice."

The camera was really close to the girl's face and I thought she looked really beautiful. There was something so innocent about her, but at the same time she seemed sort of nervous.

She looked kind of shy and that reminded me a LOT of myself.

And then the camera panned down to her chest, and I was immediately aware that you could see her nipples through the fabric of her tight white tank-top. The camera lingered there in a way that sort of scared me.

Oh my God, was my brother watching dirty videos?

I was immediately scared that I had found something on his computer that was deeply personal, something secret that my brother would want to keep hidden.

I knew I should stop watching, but I didn't do anything, I let the video keep playing.

The close-up of her chest seemed so forbidden, it felt like I was secretly staring at this pretty girl, and I was looking at her nipples through the fabric of her tank-top. I could tell that she wasn't wearing a bra, it was sort of inappropriate, watching her on the video, I mean, her nipples were so distinct.

It felt weirdly familiar looking at her chest, because this happens to me. I mean, my nipples can get so big and they will show through my shirts even when I wear a bra. I can't really help it, and it can be really embarrassing.

It also reminded me of the picture of my brother and me on his desk-top. This is just exactly how my own nipples looked in my wet yellow bikini top.

As I watched, I couldn't help it, I was still obsessively comparing myself to the girl and how she looked, and it felt funny that we were so much the same. I wondered if my brother thought the same thing.

I watched in close-up as the boy's hand came into frame and sort of anxiously pulled on the fabric of the girl's shirt.

Then I voice of the boy nervously asked, "Can I lift this up a little bit?"

The girl softly replied, "well - uhhhm - okay."

And then the boy's hands carefully pulled the girls shirt up enough to show her tummy and belly button.

And then you could hear the boy nervously ask, "Is it okay, if - if you let me take this all the way off?"

Then the girl looked up and nodded timidly.

I watched as the hands of the boy slid the tight white t-shirt over her head and up along the girl's arms until it was snug around her elbows.

Oh my God - Suddenly you could see the girl's breasts. I was sort of shocked at what I was seeing, but they looked really pretty, but at the same time what I was watching made me feel SO nervous.

The boy sort of nervously gasped, "Oh God, can you hold still - like this - for me?"

And the girl looked up and nodded obediently.

She was lying there looking up with her big eyes, and she stayed perfectly still on the bed. Her head was on the pillow and her arms were wrapped snug in the t-shirt, on her elbows over her head.

It was so weird, I mean, you couldn't really see the boy, you could tell he was on the bed with the girl, and you could see his hands sometimes when he reached into the frame, but the camera was so close that everything was all focused on the pretty girl, on her breasts.

And the way her arms were over her head, it made her already tiny breasts look even smaller.

Then, you could hear the boys voice as he said, "I need to do something. Can you just hold still, please."

And the girl nodded.

Then, you could sort of see the edge of the boy as he got off the bed. The camera was positioned so you could see the pretty girl, and she stayed still in that enticing pose with her head on the pillow and her hands over her head in the tight white t-shirt, and her bare chest.

Her pose was so subtle and so beautiful. There was something submissive and magic about the way she was holding so still.

I felt so scared about what I was watching, but the same time, there was something so entrancing about this video, it seemed to have a mysterious power over me. I was being drawn into it in a way that seemed heartwarming and tender.

As I watched, you could tell that the boy was standing along side of the bed, but all you could see was his torso, the image was too close to see above his chest, and his legs were hidden behind the bed. The girl was looking up at him.

I watched the screen on my brother's computer as the boy took off his t-shirt and then undid the front of his blue jeans.

He paused, and in a sort of desperate whisper, he said, "I really need to do this."

The cute girl nodded nervously, and then he pulled his pants down.

Suddenly, I could see his penis, it was hard and pointed straightforward.

Oh my God, this shocked me, and my heart started pounding. I've NEVER seen a boy naked, and I watched in astonishment as the boy climbed back up onto the bed, and he immediately straddled the girl and his hard erection was looming over her small breasts as she looked up at him.

The camera moved in close and I couldn't help myself, I paused the video.

At this point I was so freaked out I had to stop watching.

But I took a scrap of paper off my bother's desk, and wrote down the web address of this video. I wasn't sure why, I scribbled the numbers and letters down in sort of a flurry.

Then, I shut off my brother's computer and I franticly tried to arrange everything on his desk as best as I could so he wouldn't know I had been in his room.

And then walked out of his room.

I stood in the hall outside his door, and I was literally shaking with emotion. Why was I so freaked out? Everything feels so confusing.

Then I went to my room, closed the door behind me, locked it and I immediately lay down on my bed.

I was lost in a dizzying jumble of thoughts. Last night when my brother got home, when we talked, during a moment of such closeness, my brother confided to me that he was worried. He said he was obsessed about something, and he sounded so ashamed and scared. We had the same talk on the phone tonight. And then I find this video on his computer, and I could tell by his history that he had been watching it over and over and over.

This video, of the pretty girl on the bed, was obviously what he was obsessed about, and it made my heart ache to know that he was so ashamed.

All I could think about was how much the girl on the bed looked like me. I mean, I was comparing her to me, and how I looked. It wasn't exact, but I couldn't help feeling all haunted about what I had just seen.

When I watched as the boy's hands lifted her t-shirt up, I was totally focused on her nipples. I mean, they looked a little like mine. Hers were a sort of soft brown, and they looked really hard. And mine are a little different, they are really pale, almost the color of the rest of my skin. Maybe they are a little more pink. And, I think my nipples would be - I don't know - less hard than that girls, but they are bigger, and more plump or something, like they are full, but not as hard.