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Clueless Henry

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Two over heard conversations led to both the best and worst times of my life. I know it sounds confusing, but then ain't that life?

++++++++++++++++++

I wasn't even supposed to be there. I had flown to Chicago to renegotiate a contract with a supplier who had missed several delivery dates. I got to the supplier only to be told that there would be no talks because they had just filed bankruptcy. I called the airport and found that if I hustled back to the airport I could get a flight back home at eleven that morning.

I left at seven and I was back home at two. I stopped at the office to let the boss know the situation with Argus. I entered the building, took the elevator to the third floor, but decided to hit the john before reporting in to Mike.

I was sitting in the end stall when someone else came in and took the stall on the other end. I heard a cell phone ring and the guy on the other end answered it and I recognized the voice of Dan Winters.

"Hello?

"Oh hi."

"No, I don't think so. Mike sent Henry out of town again so that means he will be with Claudine tonight and tomorrow night. Hell, he might even take the day off and spend it with her."

"No way. Not without Mike."

"Okay, I'll ask him and see when he is available again, but I know that it won't be as long as Henry is gone."

"Okay. I'll check with Mike and call you back."

I heard Dan flush, go wash his hands and then leave the room. I sat there and considered what I'd just heard. My boss Mike had sent me out of town and my boss Mike was going to be spending the time I was gone with my wife Claudine. Given the tone of the conversation on Dan's side it did not seem like it would be the first time that it had happened.

And there was one other thing to consider.

There was no way that Dan could have missed the fact that my stall was occupied, but he still held a normal conversation in a normal tone of voice that meant, to me anyway, that it didn't matter if the person in my stall heard what was said. To me that said that it also didn't matter to Dan because it was common knowledge anyway. Common knowledge that could be mentioned out loud because good old Henry was not around to hear it. Henry, the poor bastard, was in Chicago. I decided that I wasn't going to check in with Mike after all. I left the building and headed for the house without bothering to call Claudine.

+++++++++++++++++++++

As I drove home I thought about our marriage and our relationship. I'd met Claudine in my senior year at Eastern Michigan University. It had been love at first sight on my part, but not hers. In fact it took me a dozen tries before she would agree to go out with me.

Once we started dating Claudine still dated others and I only got to go out with her two or three times a month. She told me that she wasn't going to have a relationship with any one person until she was sure she was ready to settle down and then she would narrow the field down to the ones that really interested her. I got tired of being one of many and even though I wanted her I decided to give it up and I stopped calling her. She would take her place on that long list of things that I really wanted, but never got.

About a month before graduation I was sitting in one of the off campus coffee shops when Claudine came in, saw me and came over and asked if she could join me. I said yes and she sat down. She asked me how I'd been and I said that I was fine and then she asked why I had stopped calling her.

"I got tired of standing in line Claudine."

"That is no way to win a girls heart Henry."

"I don't see it that way Claudine. To me I was chasing after something that did not want to be caught."

"I told you that I would eventually narrow the field Henry."

"Yes you did, but you didn't say that it would be any time soon and there was a limit to how much time I was going to spend on what might be a losing proposition."

"That isn't a very romantic attitude for a man to have."

"I didn't get a whole lot of encouragement from you Claudine. I was just one of many and you didn't treat me any different than you did any of the others so why fight it?

"You were on my short list Henry,"

"But still on a list Claudine. I'm at the point in my life where I need something permanent. In just a little over three weeks I'll be out of here and I don't yet know where I'm going. I have offers from both coasts and I haven't yet made up my mind where I'm going, but I may not be around here much longer. Even if I had been on your short list at the time I gave up calling there wouldn't have been enough time left to develop the kind of relationship I want."

"Too bad Henry; it could have been" and she got up and left.

+++++++++++++++++++++

I too had a short list. It was of job offers I'd received after sending out resumes and going for interviews. I settled on the one in Atlanta and a week after graduation I started my new job. The first couple of weeks were spent learning my way around the job, meeting co-workers and settling into my apartment.

There were a half dozen single women where I worked and when they found out I was new to the area a couple of them offered to show me around. I took them up on the offer and dated three of them off and on. There was no spark between any of them and me and the relationships were more like good friends paling around. I did meet one woman who lived in my apartment complex and while there was no spark there either Carrie was open to a 'friends with benefits' relationship and that is what I settled for and stopped looking.

Eight months went by and then my company bought out another company. There was a lot of job duplication and a lot of the people in the purchased company were let go or offered a transfer and so it came to pass one day that I heard a familiar voice behind me say:

"Hello stranger."

I turned around and there stood Claudine smiling down at me.

To shorten the tale some Claudine and I started dating and about six months later Claudine told me she was looking for another job and when I asked why she said:

"Read the company policies and procedures manual Henry. It clearly states that family members may not work in the same department."

That was my first indication that Claudine's short list was down to just one name. She was able to work out a lateral transfer to another department and three months later we were married.

The next five years were great. We had decided to hold off on having kids until we'd had some time to go places, do some things and in general enjoy life and we did.

++++++++++++++++++++

When I got home I parked one block over from the house and walked home. My plan was to sneak into the house, find a good hiding place and then catch Mike and Claudine in the act. After kicking Mike's ass I would throw Claudine out and then find myself a damned good attorney.

But catching the cheaters wasn't to be, at least not then. Claudine must have left work early because her car was already in the garage. I walked in the back door of the garage and quietly opened the connecting door from the garage to the house. I was hoping that maybe Claudine would be in the shower getting all clean and sweet smelling for her lover and that would give me an opportunity to get in the house and hide, but Claudine was in the kitchen talking on the phone. Through the cracked open door I listened in on my second one sided phone conversation of the day.

"When will you get it through your head that when I say no I mean no."

"No Mike, I don't believe you. You will lie to me and then do what you did the first time. It is bad enough that you have me cheating on Henry, but I will not do it while talking to him on the phone."

"No, damn it no! You can come over after I've had his evening phone call and not one minute before."

"Okay. I call you as soon I've heard from him."

I quietly closed the door and went back to my car. Even though I'd heard what Dan had said there was still a small part of me that said, "No, there must be some mistake. She wouldn't do that to me." But after what I'd just heard from her own mouth there wasn't even a smidgen of denial left in my body. One thing I did know was that if Claudine wasn't going to call Mike until after she had talked to me she wouldn't be calling Mike that night.

I stopped at a gas station phone booth and looked in the Yellow Pages. It took me nine phone calls before I found a detective agency that still had someone in the office and who would agree to see me on such short notice. It cost me a premium to get them to do what I wanted, but ten minutes after Claudine left for work in the morning a man from the agency was busy wiring the house for audio and video.

An hour after he left I called Mike on my cell phone and told him that I might have to stay in Chicago a day longer than I'd planned. I told him it looked like Argus would be closing its doors for good and that I should know in a day or so. Next I called Claudine at work and asked who she was busy talking to last night.

"I called four times and got a busy signal every time. I finally gave up and went to bed."

"I don't know why you couldn't get me honey. I wasn't on the phone at all last night. I even waited up for your call."

"No matter. I just needed to hear your voice and tell you that I love you."

"I love you too baby. Hurry home okay?"

"It looks like I'll be here until the day after tomorrow. If you have to call me do it on my cell since I might be in late, late meetings trying to solve the problems with Argus. Since I'm talking to you now I won't call again tonight. I'll call you tomorrow when I know more about when I'll be able to leave."

After that it was keep out of sight so no one could tell Claudine or Mike that I was I the area. I was parked down the street in a rental when Claudine arrived home at five forty-five and twenty minutes later Mike's Escalade pulled up in the driveway and he got out and went into the house. He didn't knock on the door or ring the bell; he just opened the door and walked right in. That pissed me almost as much as the fact that he was fucking my wife. As soon as the door closed behind him I started up and drove off.

I took in a movie that night and the next day I lounged around the motel pool for a while and then watched some TV. At one I called Mike and told him that Argus had gone belly up, but I wouldn't be able to get a flight out until the next morning. Then I called Claudine and told her the same at that it would be another day before I could get home to her. Then I told her that I wouldn't be calling her that night since I needed to get to bed early because I had to be at the airport at six am for my flight.

I was parked just down the street again when Mike showed up and walked into my house. Mike didn't know it, but he was about to pay one hell of a price for stabbing me in the back. Claudine wasn't going to make out too well on the deal either.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Claudine left for work at seven-fifteen the next morning and at nine the man from Stillwell Investigative Services had all of his equipment out of the house. I had him leave the phone tap and when I stopped by the Stillwell offices that afternoon to pay the balance of my bill I paid to purchase the phone tap. At two I had a DVD in my briefcase and was on my way home to view it while I waited for Claudine to come home from work.

It was an eye opener. Mike treated Claudine like shit! He pushed her around, slapped her ass, bit her nipples and when he fucked her ass he just shoved his cock into and smiled when she screamed. He grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her head back so far that it stretched her neck as he fucked her doggie and said:

"Whose slut are you?"

"Yours baby."

"You like my cock?"

"I love your cock."

"What do you want bitch?"

"Fuck me baby; fuck me hard."

"You are mine right?"

"Oh God yes baby; I'm yours."

He was pounding into her missionary with her legs up on his shoulders when he asked:

"Who fucks you best you sleazy cunt?"

"You do baby; you know that you do."

"Better than your wimpy ass husband?"

"Much better baby. Fuck me baby, fuck me hard."

There were hours of that shit and I could look at it later. I started skipping over the fuck scenes and stopped to watch the parts where they rested up and talked.

"Have you told him that you are ready for a kid yet?"

"Just last week like you told me to."

"What did he say?"

"He said he was glad because he was ready to be a daddy."

"Well he isn't going to be one because it is going to be my kid right?"

"Yes baby, all my babies will be yours."

"You get off the pill like I told you?"

"Yes baby."

"You tell him you have gone off the pill and that he has to use a rubber. Tell him you want to plan the time of your pregnancy. When are you going to be at your most fertile again?"

"The twenty-first baby."

"So I need to get your wimp ass husband out of town say from the nineteenth until the twenty-third and then fuck you like crazy to get you pregnant. Probably should plan on taking those days as vacation days or sick leave so we can fuck up a storm and make sure that I knock you up. Sound good?"

"Yes baby. I'm already looking forward to it."

It was news to me that Claudine was ready to have a kid. She hadn't mentioned it to me. If I was ready to kill them both after hearing what they talked about on that first night after hearing what they talked about the second night I was ready to kill them dismember them and feed them to hungry dogs.

Mike spent the night and ripped off a piece and then told Claudine to plan on having a 'motel lunch' with him that afternoon.

"I want your mouth coated with my cum when you kiss him when he gets home. I want your cunt full of my cum and before you fuck him I want you to make him eat your pussy so he can taste me."

"Yes baby."

"Call me when he falls asleep and tell me what his face looked like when he lapped me up. If he wants to know why you are so wet tell him it is because you have gotten so horny waiting for him to get back. You got that?"

"Whatever you want baby."

"God, but you are such a slut."

"I'm a slut baby, but I'm your slut."

"Yes you are and don't you forget it bitch."

++++++++++++++++++

I had the DVD hidden away and dinner on the stove when Claudine got home. I wasn't ready to confront her yet so when she ran up to me and threw her arms around me and went to kiss me I steeled myself for it and hoped that I wouldn't barf, but I was surprised. I knew what cum tasted like – mine anyway – since I had kissed Claudine after she had given me head, but when she kissed me what I tasted was Crest toothpaste. It seemed that regardless of Mike had told her to do she had stopped on the way home and brushed her teeth. When she broke the kiss she said:

"Can dinner wait? I'm horny as hell."

"I guess it can wait."

"Good. Turn it down low or turn it off so it doesn't burn while I run up and take a quick shower. Meet you on the bed in five okay?"

"You got it."

So much for me soaking my cock in Mike's dick snot. The only reason for Claudine to take a shower just home from work would be to clean Mike's gunk out of her.

She was naked on the bed when I got there and as soon as I stripped I got on the bed and moved to go down on her just to see what she would do. As I moved into position she said:

"Not tonight honey; I'm horny and I need you in me. Hurry honey, make love to me. I need it bad."

After we had finished she wouldn't let me go sixty-nine with her either. "No honey, not tonight. I want to concentrate on you."

I wondered what was going on. She didn't do any of the things that Mike had told her to do and that she had told him she would do. She got me up and we went a second time and then went down to dinner. She brought me up to date on all the latest gossip that I had missed by being gone and then we did the dishes, watched some TV and then went up to bed. She got me hard and we went one more time then she snuggled in next to me and we fell asleep. I slept soundly and I didn't know if she got up and called Mike or not. The telephone tap would answer that question for me.

The next day was Saturday and it was the once a month when Claudine went and had her hair done. As soon as she was gone I checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. After I had watched the DVD I'd gone into the bathroom and checked out Claudine's birth control pill holder. I had counted them and the count was down one from the previous day so she was lying to Mike about going off the pill. Next I pulled the tape out of the recorder on the phone line and listened to it.

"He's sound asleep."

"Did you what I told you?"

"Of course I did."

"What happened?"

"When I kissed him he made a face and asked me what I'd had for lunch. I couldn't tell him it was your cock so I told him it was fish and he told me that I should go brush my teeth."

"How did you end up with a clueless clown like him?"

"He's not all that bad."

"He just can't take care of you like I can is that it? Did you have him eat your snatch?"

"He was reluctant, but I said 'no eatee, no fuckee' and he made a hell of a face when he did it, but he didn't say anything."

"Of course not. He's clueless."

"Good thing for us baby. If he wasn't clueless we could end up being caught. He did piss and moan when I made him wear the condoms I bought on the way home. I almost thought he wouldn't make love to me. I did get him to buy the story that I didn't want to take chances until I could plan the time. I told him no way I wanted to find myself eight months pregnant in the winter and he seemed to accept that."

"Have you figured out yet how you are going to get him to go along with naming it Michael if it is a boy and Michelle if it is a girl?"

"No, but we have plenty of time before we get to that point."

"I want you to find a way to spend an hour or to with me on Tuesday."

"I'll try."

"Try my ass you slut! You will do it."

"Yes baby. I guess I'll just have to tell him I have to work late. It is a good thing he never checks on that."

"I keep telling you; the man is clueless."

There was more, but that was the meat of it. I wondered how it had started and how long it had been going on. Not that it mattered. It had started and it was going on and as a result there was going to be a whole lot of hurting going on because of it.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Monday I made an appointment with an attorney and I was in his office Tuesday afternoon when I got the call from Claudine telling me that she was going to be working late. I'd already played the tape for the attorney so we both knew what 'late' meant.

The mechanics were cut and dried. It was a no fault state so the assets were going to be split fifty/fifty and we both made comparable wages so there would be no alimony. Where I would make out on the deal was that our state was one that allowed alienation of affection suits and – and this was the biggie – Mike was over my department and Claudine's department and our company policy and procedures manual was quite specific when it came to relationships between supervisors and subordinates. Mike having anything at all to do with Claudine was a very big no-no and his sending me out of town so they could be together was the kiss of death so in addition to suing Mike for alienation of affections I would be suing to company for failing to enforce the CP&P.

At the very least Mike and Claudine would be joining the ranks of the unemployed and the chances were better than good that the company would settle the suit to keep things from going public. I wouldn't be able to work there any more after I sued, but given that I figured that everyone I worked with – evidenced by Dan's phone call – knew that I was being fucked over and kept quiet about it I didn't want to stay there and work with the assholes anyway.

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