How I Met Your Mother

Part 1

His Story.

I was Drunk.

Well, I should have been drunk, but the sun was still high in the sky, beating down like a hammer, 40 degrees in the shade, and the beer was sweating out of me as fast as I could drink it. It was Australia Day long weekend. We had been at the beach all day, working on our tans and getting plastered. Simon and I were sitting in the water on deck chairs, cooler next to us in the water, letting the waves crash into our backs. We were feeling no pain. We had been at the beach off and on all summer and our skin was dark brown, but even that didn't stop the sun from burning us.

Looking down, I noticed that the cooler was empty.

"Shit Simon, we are out of beer," I said, looking through my sunglasses to ice just floating in the cooler. Looking at my watch I said, "That was 4 dozen cans of beer in 3 hours man."

Simon glanced down at the cooler with a drunken stare. "Bummer" he said as he looked at the ice floating in the cool water of the cooler.

We both looked at each other. "What do we do now?" asked Simon.

"Well, seeing we are getting burn to a crisp here, lets see if we can find some shade and cool off" I said, getting up from the deck chair.

Now, being that we just drank so much, no sooner had my arse left the chair, I toppled over into the water.

"Shit man, I'm hammered." I said as the next wave broke over me.

Simon slowly rose from the deck chair, and lifted his arm up in the air, trying to loosen his cramped muscles. The water was only 12" deep. "Don't drown down there," Simon said as he slowly twisted and turned to loosen up.

I staggered to my feet, pulling myself up with the aid of the deck chair, and looked around at the beach in front of us.

The beach was not as crowded yet as it was not yet Saturday, so only the holidaymakers from the caravan park were on the beach. The real influx of people will be arriving later tonight. Still, the beach was buzzing with people having fun and tanning in the afternoon sun.

We slowly walked back to the spot were we left our towels and stuff, dragging the now empty cooler and deck chairs behind us. As we walked, well I mean staggered back; we crossed a game of beach cricket in progress. Half a dozen people trying to play a game before the tide returned and robbed them of their wicket. As we waited for a lull in the game, the batter hit the ball straight at us, hoping that we would get in the way of the fielding side.

Now, I had played cricket before, but being drunk and felling no pain in all, when the ball can rocketing towards us, I flung my arm in the air and snatched the ball into my hand.

I looked in wonder at the ball, knowing that it was a fluke that the ball landed there. I spun around and threw the ball to the stumps, just clipping the side of one, and fell to the ground, having twisted my body around too far for my drunken legs to hold me.

"Shit man" said Simon, laughing at me on the sand.

One of the men-playing cricket came up to us and invited us to play with them. I told them that we were pretty drunk and would not be much good, but were willing to try.

Now, I know what is supposed to happen at times like this. You play around and fall down drunk and miss everything. That's not what happened. We played like crazy men, swinging and hitting everything. We were so relaxed, they couldn't get us out.

After about 20 minutes, we gave up, too tried to continue and completed our walk back to our towels.

Dropping to the sand, we quickly fell asleep under the flapping umbrella.

A while later, I awoke to a thirst that didn't quit. The sun had moved and I was no longer under the shade, and my skin was burning. I sat up and squinted at the sky and estimated about 2 hours had passed. I stood up and walked back to the water to cool off. As I neared the waterline, I noticed someone in the water trying to wax his board. As I got closer I saw that it was Danny, someone who lives the beach and I had known for a few years. His board was a dark red twin fin and he was having trouble getting the wax to stick in the heat.

"Danny" I said and I closed in him. "What the hell are you doing trying to wax the board in this heat?"

He looked up at me and squirted off his reply in a stuttering voice that he had then he was upset. "Shit Craig, yyyou Frightennnned me there." he said as he continued to try to get some wax to stick. "I lost a poker game last night and I have to teach this girl how to surf."

"Yeah!" I said, as I fell into the water next to him. "What girl" I said, as the next wave crashed over my back and took some of the suns heat with it.

"She's over there next to the boat ramp with Tracy and Sue" he said as he looked at the surfboard with dismay. "This sex wax is never going to fucking stick"

I looked across the beach and said, "Man, give it up. It's too hot, and even if you manage to get the wax to stick, it's going to fucking come off 20 seconds later."

Danny looked up and said, "Fuck it, no bets worth this shit." He stood up and started dragging the surfboard back to the sea wall where his stuff was. I picked myself up from the water and trundled back with him to see our friends at the top of the beach.

I flopped down to the sand next to the rest of the group, as my towel was back with the sleeping Simon under the Umbrella.

"So," I said, "who is the girl you are going to all this trouble for Danny."

"She is right in front of you," he said.

I looked up.

Now remember, I was not exactly in a clear state of mind, having drunk a whole carton of beer in 3 hours, but what I do remember is this.

She stood about 5'6", long brown hair, blue green eyes flecked with brown. She had on a blue one-piece swimsuit that hugged her hips like a second skin. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks. She was squeezing water out of her hair as she looked back out to Danny as he came dragging the surfboard back to the seawall.

Part two

Her Story.