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Dear Karen Pt. 01

01.06.09

Dear Karen,

I just want to tell you what a pleasure it was to meet you at the contract negotiations last month in San Francisco. Because of you, it was a delightful trip and one that I hope to make again soon. You are such as beautiful and loving person. You showed me the absolute ecstasy that one woman can bring to another. I never dreamed sex with a truly loving person could be so wonderful. I also appreciate you listening so attentively to my ruminations about my unsatisfying marriage and my worthless husband who thinks he is the next Picasso and spends his time dabbling at painting. The advice that you gave me about how to get control of my marital situation made for entertaining conversation but I did not, at the time, dream that it might be put into practice. However, I came home late from the office one night last week and there the worthless bastard was lying on the couch watching TV. Not only has he been unemployed for the past three years but he makes no effort to employ himself around the house. The first thing out of his mouth when I came in was how long before dinner?

I was furious at him. Then I remembered our conversation and commanded him to get up off of his duff and face me when talking to me. He looked like he had been slapped. I told him to get on his feet and face me and to do it now and while he was at it to turn that damn TV off. I looked on in amazement as he complied. I went eye-to-eye with him and told him things were going to change around here. I told him this is a joint operation and I'm the only one around here holding down a full-time job and bringing home an income. I reminded him that as a successful attorney with large law firm I bring home a very nice income and it is for that reason and that reason alone that he has the luxury of pretending to be an artist. I told him that if he was happy with the current economic arrangement then it was fine with me but it was high time someone took on the job of homemaker.

William asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him to get his lazy butt in the kitchen and get busy with making us some dinner. That I was going to go take a nice hot shower, change clothes and have a glass of wine. By the time I finished my glass of wine I expected a decent meal to be prepared and on the table ready to eat.

I could tell from the expression on William's face that he was getting ready to lodge an objection. Before he could get started I told him here's the deal William you got two choices. First, you can get with my program and be the housewife in this arrangement or you can get your ass out of my condo. I will cancel your credit cards and if you dare to drive away from here in one of my cars I'll have you arrested for auto theft. In short, you can earn your keep here or live on the street for all I care. With that I turned and walked up the stairs to the bedroom.

Karen, I could hardly believe my eyes. When I came out of the bedroom in my nightgown and slippers and ready to pour myself a glass of wine, the little darling already had a glass of wine poured and waiting for me. He had on my ruffled apron and was busy as a bee working on dinner. I went into the living room and sat back in a comfortable chair and watched, as dinner was prepared. I sipped on my wine and felt myself begin to relax and consider how nice it might be to have a homemaker to keep up the domestic front while I was out slaving away in the corporate jungle.

As I watched William preparing dinner, I decided that a more diminutive name was in order for his new role. I decided on Billie Jean, which had been the name of a close friend from my high school days whose friends called her BJ. For all practical purposes, Billie Jean was going to be the "wife" in this relationship but referring to him, as my wife was somewhat incongruous. Therefore, I decided the perfect label would be to refer to him as my sissy husband. Billie Jean soon had dinner ready and on the table. He came into the living room and asked if I was ready to eat. I told him I was and we went into the dinning room. He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down. After I was seated he proceeded to serve me my dinner and then prepared a plate for himself and sat down. The meal was passable for a first attempt, which led me to think that he had promise as a cook. I told him the food was good and that I expected his cooking to get better with practice. I suggested that he might want to look into taking a cooking class.

Karen, Billie Jean actually seemed to be relieved to finally have a purpose and place in our life together. Just as you predicted he needed someone to take control and give him a direction and purpose in life. We had a pleasant evening listening to music and drinking wine. After a couple of glasses of wine we headed to the bedroom. I pulled out a pair of my pink satin pajamas and told Billie that he might as well look the part. He took the pajamas without a word and stripped his clothes off and put them on. I told him he looked sweet and that I was sure that he would get more comfortable with the idea of being a homemaker as time went on. I then got one of the best nights of sleep that I have had in a while.

Love,

Davida

To be continued...

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