Alex

Alex and I had been friends forever. We had been neighbour's on the same street, attended the same schools, hung out with the same friends, even dated a few of the same girls.

Alex had blonde hair that was kept medium in length, brown eyes, was fairly short for our age, scrawny, and always wore a black toque.

Though we were best friends, we were pretty opposite when it came to personalities. I was the tall, muscular, popular guy, and captain of every sports team at our school. Alex was the quiet, artsy type.

Don't get me wrong, Alex did have quite the rep with the ladies, but after a couple weeks they'd move on to someone new; I guess they got bored or something, Alex was always very evasive when it came to explaining why it ended.

It was the end of our first week of college. Alex and I had both come to the local college on scholarships; I for sports, Alex for art. We had celebrated all summer together and some how in that time our bond had changed. I didn't think best friends could get closer, but then we did, I found myself wanting to be in Alex's company all the time. I guess I developed a crush. I had never been smitten about someone as unobtainable as Alex before, and it was driving me crazy.

During the first week of college I had made a few friends from my classes. I assume Alex did too, because we hadn't seen each other once yet. Alex hadn't called or text messaged me; emailed me, nothing. I felt cut off, and shut out. I kept wondering what I had done wrong? Surly Alex hadn't caught on or sensed what I was feeling; I was sure I hid it well.

Weeks turned into months, and still no contact from Alex, despite my persistent attempts. I had become a mad man, enraged with desire; my crush had now become my obsession.

I soon was forced to find outlets for my raging desire. Morning masturbation sessions barley took the edge off the constant arousal I felt for Alex. Morning, noon and night sessions, still were not enough. I turned to the girls at my school; I wooed and bed every girl I could see, leaving me with momentary satisfaction.

I knew Alex was still virginal, and it was something in that, that drove me wild: my untouched best friend. I wanted to be the first to make Alex squirm, to make Alex moan, to feel Alex's inner depths; the first to fuck Alex, and the only one to ever fuck Alex. Alex had to be mine. I would see to it some how.

My obsessions probably became worse after this realization, not only did I fantasize about intimate relations with Alex, but I began to form ways to make Alex mine.

It was one night near the end of our first year at college when I got a call from Alex. I was in my car fucking a girl from class in her driveway.

"Hey Chase...it's Alex." Alex said shyly.

"Hey..."I said, stopping any movement, much to the girl's annoyance.

"Umm, I'm in a bit of a jam and I was wondering if you could come get me? It's kind of an emergency."

"Uhh, ya sure, where are you?" I asked, trying to hide my excitement. The girl made a "what about me?" gesture, to which I gently pushed her off me signalling "not now". She let out an annoyed sigh, straightened her clothes, got out of the car and left.

"I'm at the on campus residence...at the side door."

"I'll be there in five minutes Alex." I said as I hung up and raced out of the girl's driveway to the campus. All my thoughts of Alex raced through my head as I drove. My whole life suddenly seemed to revolve around this moment.

I pulled up to the side door of the campus, but Alex was no where, I sighed, disappointed, Alex must have left thinking I wasn't coming, or had met up with friends. My passenger door suddenly opened, and hidden behind the door, crouched down was Alex. Alex got in, keeping hunched down.

"Drive Chase." Alex said kind of panicky. Not knowing what was up I drove hastily away from the residence, and off the campus. It wasn't until the campus was out of sight I realized how bad Alex looked.

Red eyes, a bleeding nose, bruised face, gashes and more bruises on all uncovered skin. "Jesus Alex what happened?"

"Nothing, it's not a big deal Chase."

"Where am I taking you?"

"Just down town if you don't mind."

"What are you going to do down there?"

"Just meet some people."

"You sure you don't want me to take you to the hospital Alex?" I asked concerned.

"No Chase I don't want you to take me to the fucking hospital!" Alex said angrily.

"You're banged up, you should be at least going to the cops to perpetrate the bastards that did this to you."

"Fuck off Chase I'm not going to the fuzz, and I'm not going to any damn hospital."

"What happened Alex?" I asked again.

"Nothing."

"You call me after ignoring me for months, and look like you've got the shit kicked out of you, and you expect me to believe nothing happened? Fuck you Alex!" I drove angrily, swerving in and out of lanes passing people, all the way to my shitty, run down apartment that I was renting.

"Where the fuck are we Chase? I said drive me down town!"

I got out of the car and walked briskly over to the passenger side, ripping the door open, hauling Alex out roughly and slamming the door closed. I dragged Alex into my building and into the elevator up to my apartment. When I opened the door I pushed Alex in and locked the door.

"Your staying here until you tell me what the fuck is going on. You think I can't smell the weed and booze on you? What other drugs have you been taking Alex?"

But Alex just stood there, head down, looking at the floor.

"Coke."

It was all Alex said. We both stood there in silence for what felt like forever. This wasn't how I expected things to be.

"Where are you living?"

Alex shrugged. "Anywhere I can...the streets on warm nights."

I growled in frustration. "Are you still in school? Where is your mom? How do you have money for drugs and alcohol? Do you have a job?"

Alex sat down on the couch and mumbled, sounding ashamed, "Didn't even make it through the first semester. Mom won't talk to me till I'm clean. I trade oral sex for coke...daily."

"So why are you all banged up?"

"Guess Derek didn't like the way I sucked his dick today."

Again there was silence.

"You'll stay here with me. Go shower, I'll order some food. You better fucking get clean Alex. Enough of this shit. Got it?"

Alex got up and went to the bathroom not saying a word. I heard the shower start. I quickly ordered a pizza and began to hide all of my beer under the sink. It wasn't a very good hiding spot but it was good enough for now.

The shower stopped, and I grabbed a towel from the linen closet and knocked on the bathroom door. Alex opened it a crack and I passed the towel through. I then went to my room and found a pair of boxer shorts and a wife beater shirt, then headed back to the bathroom and opened the door. Alex sat huddled in the towel on the ledge of the tub.

Something not many people new outside of me and Alex's family was that she was a girl. Though she looked like a boy out of her desire to be a boy, underneath it all she was pure woman. She stood up and I handed her the clothes I had gotten from my room. She turned her back to me and dropped the towel to the floor, then grabbed the boxers. She was scrawny as hell. Not like I had remembered her when we were growing up. My eyes roamed over her back side as she dressed. It was as she was putting the shirt on that she slightly turned to me and I caught a glimpse of a tiny breast...and clearly many bruised and broken ribs.

Alex had never really cared if I saw her naked, for as long as I could remember. I knew she was a lesbian, and we had never thought of each other that way...that she knew of at least. I often asked her over the years if she had considered getting the operation to fully become a guy, or even considered steroids to enhance her appearance, in terms of facial hair. But she couldn't do that, deep down she was scared or unsure, I never really knew. Her voice was naturally low, but still not as low as a guy's, and her trim figure and small breasts allowed her to fool a lot of people without having to drastically change her body.

She came towards me and put her arms around me in a tight hug, which I returned with a sigh of relief. I felt like I had my Alex back, for the first time in a long time.

Just then there was a distant knock. Alex looked alarmed.

"I ordered a pizza kid." And she smiled...probably the first in a long time.

We left the bathroom and Alex sat on the couch. I answered the door and paid for the pizza bringing it over to the couch. I flipped the TV on and we watched some hockey while we ate.

Before I knew it, it was three in the morning and Alex was sound asleep beside me. I picked her up and carried her to my bed, tucking her in under the warm covers. I stood and looked at her for a few minutes before shedding my clothes, putting a pair of sweat pants on and climbing in beside her. She immediately snuggled into my side like she used to do when we had sleepovers in high school; which was pretty often considering her mom was always throwing her out. Her mom and her never did see eye to eye on the whole wanting to be a boy thing.

I awoke to find her gone in the morning. No note. Nothing. My heart dropped and I was miserable all day long.

The girl from the night before came over after I didn't respond to her fifteen messages on my answering machine, she was upset at how I treated her the night before. I told her I couldn't see her anymore and she exploded. She couldn't understand why and begged me to change my mind. I told her the truth, I was in love with someone else and she stormed out.

I just sat on the couch staring into nothingness all day long, and all the next day. Monday came and I dragged myself to school. Everything was on auto pilot. People kept asking what was wrong, I ignored them. Parts of me that I didn't even know could hurt, ached. All I could do was think of my Alex. Those perfect lips wrapped around some other mans dick. Did he know she was a girl? Did she let him fuck her? Suddenly every fantasy I had of her shattered. I wanted her, needed her, loved her, but hated her, hated her, wanted to destroy her. I hated her.

***

I couldn't stay with Chase. I knew he cared about me and was worried, but it was unneeded, I knew how to take care of myself. If I stayed he would just order me around like I was a kid or something. It was better for both of us if I left.

At first I just walked down town and wandered, but soon I began to feel uneasy. I knew what my body wanted. I was able to control the urge for a few days...but soon it became too much.

I walked the five blocks to my girl friends house; Danielle. She had just gotten in from work and was tired.

She hugged me and kissed me and I took her hand and walked her to her bedroom. She smiled shyly at me, and looked towards the floor, as a red blush slowly graced her face. I raised my hand to her chin and lifted her face so her eyes would meet mine. Danielle's teeth bit her bottom lip, she always played so innocent; she was submissive through and through. It was what I liked about her best; the fact that I was the man of the relationship; or so to speak.

I leaned into her and brushed my lips against hers. She responded by leaning into the kiss and opening her mouth. My tongue danced into her mouth; she tasted sweet. My hands slid from her waste to her round and supple ass. I pulled her pants down, and then her panties. Looking directly at her mound I leaned in and kissed it; she giggled.

I stood up and took her shirt off, and gently pushed her onto the bed. She lay back and spread her legs for me. I got down in between her thighs and began kissing the folds of her pussy.

She moaned quietly as I opened her up like a flower and began licking her moist depths, paying particular attention to her clit. Her hips bucked wildly and she moaned and screamed my name as she came. She always came fast, I never knew if it was because I was good, or because she was trying to get her turn done, so she could go down on me.

I had managed to put her off for some time now; not wanting her to find out my secret.

"Alex let me return the favour." She said while embracing me and kissing me deep.

I smiled at her. "Why don't we make things more interesting baby? A little coke for your clit?"

She sighed, "Your just saying that so I give you some, and then we will never finish this. Please just let me go down on you. Or we could just fuck...wouldn't you like that Alex? To fuck my little pussy? Please." She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Come on Dani, just a bit?" I begged.

She stood up forcefully and began dressing. "Alex even if I had some I wouldn't give it to you! You don't love me."

I just looked at her. I knew I didn't love her but I wanted what I knew she had. "Dani I do love you, come on, I know you have it." I stood up and tried to hug her, she pushed me away.

"Get out of my house Alex. And don't come back." I stood looking at her, hoping she would change her mind. "GO!" she screamed.

I was so frustrated, there was only one option I had left if Danielle wouldn't give me any of the cocaine she had; Derek. I didn't know if I could go to him though, not after how things went yesterday.

I left Danielle's house and walked to a local park in town and sat on a bench, staring out into nothing. What was I going to do. I was getting desperate, I couldn't fight the growing need inside of me, the only way it would be satisfied is with the drug that it had grown to depend on.

After sitting for an hour I decided I had to go to Derek. I pulled out some change I had in my pocket, it wasn't much, but it was enough to ride the bus to Derek's.

About an hour later I arrived at the residence. I stood out side for a while thinking about what I was about to do. I didn't even know if Derek would give me the time of day after yesterday.

I opened the door and walked into the building, up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. I knocked on the door and waited. It didn't take long until Derek answered, "What do you want? I thought I got rid of you yesterday?"

I just looked at him, I didn't say anything. He knew what I had come for...I wouldn't have come otherwise.

"I told ya, you needed me you little bitch. Get in here and get on your knees." I squeezed in and past him and knelt on the floor. I then realized Derek was not alone, his buddy Jake was here too.

"Now bitch your gonna suck off me and my buddy, then we'll talk smack, got it?"

"Your sure this guy can suck dick Derek?" Jake asked, trying to hide the disgust in his voice.

"Ya this little bitch can suck cock. Better then any girl. And he always needs what I got. Don't you?" Derek asked smacking my cheek lightly, but still hard enough that I knee it wasn't affectionate.

He unzipped his pants and I fished out his dick like I knew he expected me to. He grabbed my head hastily and shoved his dick down my throat; I gagged. Furiously he fucked my face, not caring that I couldn't breathe. As quick as it started he came down my throat and I collapsed and puked my guts out on the floor. I breathed a deep breath and then his foot made contact with my ribs, knocking the breath out of me, and causing me to scream in pain.

"You fucking fagot look what you did, you through up on my god damned floor, bitch!"

Derek knocked me with his foot and I fell on my side, he began kicking me again and again, yelling at me, until I begged him to stop. He stopped and I looked up at him. "Please Derek?" I pleaded, "Just one line?"

Derek laughed hard, "You think I'm gonna give it to you after that pitiful attempt at pleasing me Alex?" His persona rapidly changing, "Lie down on the ground, on your back, fagot!"

I lay down on my back, tears falling from my eyes. What have I gotten myself into I thought?

Derek and Jake now stood over me, Derek's dick still hanging out of his pants, and Jake now pulling his out. Before I knew what they intended they were urinating on me, aiming always for my face. I lay there with my eyes closed tight, praying I could leave after this.

After they expelled their bladders on me they zipped up at sat on the couch. I wiped my face the best I could with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and moved to get up and leave.

"Bitch! Did I say you could move? Lay your ass back down there!" Derek said as he through a peanut shell at me. It clung to my damp form and him and Jake laughed. For what felt like hours they sat and through shells at me, finally Derek asked if I had told anyone of my beatings the day before; if he should be worried about the fuzz showing up looking for him.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Who?"

"Chase Michaels." I didn't know who else to say, feeling defeated.

Derek got up off his couch and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. He flipped it open, pushed some buttons and then brought it to his ear.

"Is this Chase? Ya, well I've got your friend Alex here, and I'm telling you if you go to the police I'll kill the fairy, got that?"

***

"Listen...I'm sure we can work something out. You give me Alex, and I won't go to the cops."

"Alex belongs to me now. He's my property, my bitch. You go to the cops and I'll kill him."

There was silence for a few minutes. I had to get her back, she was my Alex.

"I'll give you $500 for him." I finally said, "And I won't go to the cops."

Silence again.

"$1000."

"$500 Derek." I hoped saying his name would make him understand that I knew who he was, and that it was a serious possibility that I could go to the cops.

"$700." He said; one last haggle.

Figuring it was as good as I was going to get I agreed. "Bring Alex to the side door of the residence in fifteen minutes." I hung up and raced to my car. I sped to the bank and withdrew the money, which was about half my savings. I then sped to the residence to where I found Derek and another guy holding Alex.

I got out of my car and waved a role of bills. The guys let go of Alex who then ran and got in my car. I tossed the role of money to the bigger guy, who I assumed was Derek, he caught it and I got in my car and sped off.

The car ride to my place was silent. I knew she knew I was angry. And I knew she was planning on escaping me. But the way I looked at it, was I bought her...I paid for her. She owed me her life, and I was going to see to it that I got it. A rage I had never known, welled inside of me.

As we pulled into my building she finally spoke, it was barley audible, "Chase?"

"Don't." I said flatly, trying to control my anger. I got out of the car and went around to her side. I yanked the door open and grabbed her, dragging her out of the car and up into my apartment.

It wasn't until we had reached the bedroom that I finally registered she was saying something.

"Please you're hurting me."

I spun around and looked at her. My expression must have been fierce because she shrank into the wall in fear.

"Let us get something clear here Alex. Okay?" She only nodded...probably to scared to use her voice. "I bought you. I own you. You are mine. Got it?"

She looked at me as if I had gone mad. "Chase-"

"Got it!?!?!" I practically spat at her. She nodded slowly and very reluctantly.

"Take your clothes off Alexa." I used her full name for the first time since we were five.

She didn't move.

"If I have to take them off myself Alexa, they will be ripped off you and you will no longer have clothes to wear. Do you want to walk around naked? Is that it?"

"No." She whispered as she began to undress.

My eyes roamed over her body as she stripped herself bare. When she was finished she looked up at me with tears bursting down her face. "Please Chase...please don't do this."

I began taking my clothes off as fast as I could yelling, "Get on the bed and lie down!"