Herb, Tricia and Me

There are some that say that revenge is a waste of valuable time; time that could be put to more productive use doing other things. To me and to my way of thinking good mental health requires payback when you are fucked over. You have a choice: In ten or fifteen years you can look back and say, "Damn it! I should have......" or you can look back and smile at what you did.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tricia and I had dated and gone steady for a year and a half in high school and near the end of our junior year she dumped me for our teams starting quarterback. He - Danny - wasn't too bright or he never would have gotten together with her. I think he started to get the message the Friday night we played the Ypsilanti Braves and the right guard stepped aside and let his man through. The right guard (moi) did it three more times before I was pulled from the game and benched. By then Danny's bell had been rung once too often and he was pulled because he couldn't seem to get it together after that. Marty, the second stringer, went on in Danny's place, had one hell of a game and we beat Ypsi 24-21, but my football career was over.

The coach ripped me a new asshole for what I had done and threw me off the team, but not before asking me why. I told him straight up why I had done it and that I'd do it again if I had the chance. He called Danny in and asked him if it were true that he'd stolen my girlfriend and Danny puffed up his chest and cracked wise:

"It ain't my fault if he can't hang on to his women."

The coach just looked at Danny and then he shook his head and then said:

"Son, that's a team out there. You have to play together to win and to do that you need to be tight with your teammates. You just don't fuck over your teammates."

And he threw Danny off the team also. It ended up costing us both a chance at a football scholarship. It didn't hurt me because my parents could afford to send me to college, but Danny's couldn't. Danny was so pissed at being thrown off the team that he told Tricia to go to hell. She came crawling back to me and I told her to fuck off and die. Danny was popular and getting him thrown off the team pissed a lot of people off and Tricia (who got the blame instead of me) did not have a happy rest of her Junior year and she did not have all that good a time as a Senior either. She was the only girl in the senior class that didn't get asked to the prom.

There was one more unpleasant outcome from the mess. I tried out for football at Eastern Michigan as a walk on, but the coach didn't even give me a look. He told me he knew all about what I'd done and that no one with an attitude like that was ever going to play for him.

In a way it was probably a good thing since without football to get in the way I was able to knuckle down and graduate with a 3.91 GPA and that made me attractive to the XYZ Corporation and I went to work for them one week after being handed my sheepskin.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I didn't see Tricia after I left high school. Where I'd gone to Eastern Michigan she had gone to the University of Michigan. My second day at XYZ I was sitting in the cafeteria looking over the choices I had to make on the insurance package when someone sat down across from me and set their tray on the table. I looked up from my paperwork and saw Tricia. She looked me right in the eye and said:

"Are you going to say hi?"

I looked at her for several seconds, said "Hi" and then went back to looking over my insurance benefits paperwork.

"Still holding a grudge?"

"I said hi. That's what you asked for and I gave it to you. Now, if you don't mind, I need to make my choices and turn the paperwork in."

"Okay, let's try it this way. I asked for a hi and you gave me what I asked for. While you are in a giving mood I'm going to ask you to forgive a stupid teenager for being a stupid teenager. Rob, we all did things that we regret doing when we were in junior high and high school. I screwed up. I'm sorry. Can't we at least be friends?"

I looked at her sitting across from me, still the best looking girl that ever went out with me and I figured, "What the hell, it can't hurt to be just friends" so I said:

"Okay. We can be friends."

She smiled and stuck out her hand and said, "Shake?" I took it and shook it and eleven months later I took her hand again and slid a ring on her finger as I said, "I do."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next five years went by fast. Tricia and I decided that we wanted to wait for a while before having kids. We had places we wanted to go and things we wanted to do and we wanted to be a little more stable financially before starting a family. We sank all of our energy into each other and our jobs. We bought a three-bedroom house because we knew that one-day we were going to have children. We got passports and spent our vacations traveling and seeing the world.

By the end of that five-year period I began talking with Tricia about starting a family, but she told me she wasn't ready just yet. She had just been promoted to manager in her department and she had some things she wanted to do, some changes she wanted to make to make the department more efficient and to "leave her stamp" on it. I knew how she felt because I'd been made a section manager six months before and I'd had the same feelings.

I didn't really like her new job because she had to travel and would be gone for two or three days on the average of twice a month. But she loved her job and was happy so I decided not to push for kids until she hit 'the wall.' You do know about 'the wall' right? Every company that has been in business for a long time has a 'wall.' It is called the "Because that is the way we have always done it" wall. I knew that the entrenched bureaucracy would resist all the changes she wanted to make and eventually she would give up fighting them and at that point she would be ready to consider children. If my own experience at trying to make changes was any yardstick I only had about six months to wait.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tricia had just left for a three day trip to Atlanta and I was sitting at my desk wondering what to do with my evenings while she was gone when my boss buzzed me and asked me to come into his office. He told me that there was a problem at our Charlotte facility and asked me to fly down and take a look. Naturally I said yes and he told me he would have his secretary make the arrangements. She called me at noon and told me she had me set up with a two-ten flight and that I would have to change planes in Atlanta. I told her about Tricia being in Atlanta and asked that since I had to change planes in Atlanta and wouldn't get in to Charlotte until too late to go into the office that she reschedule me. I'd overnight in Atlanta, spend the evening with Tricia and catch the first flight out to Charlotte in the morning. She called me back twenty minutes later and gave me the new arrangements.

I arrived in Atlanta and took the hotel courtesy bus to the hotel where Tricia was staying. I called her room from the lobby and got no answer so I asked the desk clerk for a key. After checking my driver's license information against Tricia's registration information she gave me a key card and I headed up to the room. It was my intention to surprise her when she came into the room, but I was the one who was surprised.

I entered the room and the first thing I thought was that I was in the wrong room. There were men's clothes hanging on the clothes bar and I was just about to back out of the room when I saw the monogrammed luggage I had given Tricia when she was promoted. I closed the door and looked around the room and found enough of Tricia's things to convince me that I was in her room all right. One look at the unmade bed with the wet spot in the middle told me the rest of the story. I took one last look around and then left.

I went down to the lobby and went into the gift shop and bought a copy of that day's Atlanta Constitution to hide behind and went out and sat down in the lobby where I could keep an eye on the front door and the elevators and settled in to wait. While I sat there waiting for Tricia to show I wondered at the lack of rage I was feeling. Why hadn't I waited in the room and then exploded on them when they came in. Why hadn't I sat there gleefully destroying everything that whoever the man was had left in the room? Why didn't I shred his clothes and cut up his suitcases? Why did I just look around and then leave? I honestly didn't know. I tried to think of what I might have done to drive Tricia to cheat on me, but I couldn't come up with a thing. She hadn't been any less loving or affectionate toward me. I had seen nothing that would have even remotely made me think she might be running around on me.

About an hour later I saw Tricia coming in the front door and I recognized the man with her. Herb Scott also worked at XYZ. He was a manager in the Marketing Department. The two of them walked hand in hand to the elevator and Herb pushed the call button. The two of them kissed while they waited for the elevator to come and then the door opened and they walked inside. When the door closed I got up from where I was sitting and went to the bank of payphones and called the airline and got myself on the last flight out of Atlanta for Charlotte. I might be leaving, but was I going to let her get away with it? Not on her life, but my revenge on the cheating whore was not going to be a screaming confrontation. I wanted much more satisfaction than that. I didn't yet know what I was going to do to them, but it was going to be something that the two of them would remember for the rest of their lives. I think it was the Italians who said:

"Revenge should be like a fine wine. It should be sipped and savored."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I landed in Charlotte and went to a bank of phones and called Tricia. When she answered the phone she sounded out of breath.

"Where were you Rob? I called the house a couple of times and didn't get an answer."

"Not surprising since I'm downstairs in the lobby. I'll be right up."

"What!!"

"Yeah lover. Charlie asked me to go to Charlotte and take care of a problem there. I had to change planes here in Atlanta and I thought I'd overnight here with you and go on to Charlotte in the morning."

"Here? You are here in the lobby?" I could hear the panic in her voice as she said, "Hold on a second Rob; I left the water running in the bathtub and I need to turn it off."

I heard murmuring in the background and then a very distinct "Oh shit." I smiled at the image of her lover trying to get his shit picked up and out of the room. I could imagine him scurrying down the hall to the stairwell until I was in the room, or maybe dressing there and then going down the stairs to the front desk and trying to get a room while Tricia scrambled to make the bed and think of a way to explain the wet spot. I heard a door close and then Tricia came back on the line.

"Sorry to make you wait love, but I didn't want the tub to overflow."

"What was that "Oh shit" I heard?"

"In my hurry to get to the tub I stubbed my toe and it hurt."

"Oh babe, I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Well, in a way it is. If I hadn't called to joke with you it wouldn't have happened."

"Joke with me?"

"Yeah sweetie, I'm not in the lobby. I'm calling from Charlotte. I did have to change planes in Atlanta and I was going to surprise you, but I couldn't get a flight out in the morning early enough to get me here for my meeting so I couldn't stop over."

"Oh gee honey, and you had me thinking I was going to get laid tonight instead of watching the dumb stuff on TV."

"Maybe I'll surprise you the next time. Hey, got to run. Here comes the hotel shuttle bus. I'll talk to you later sweetie. Love you."

"I love you too Rob. Bye."

I at least had the pleasure of knowing that I'd almost given Tricia and her asshole lover heart failure.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

During my time in Charlotte and on the trip home I thought about how I would take my revenge. I rolled a dozen plots and scenarios over in my mind and one by one I discarded them as either impractical or too hard to make happen. I got back to the main office and gave Charlie my report and as I was leaving his office I saw my revenge walking toward me. Marsha, Charlie's secretary, was just returning from the ladies room and she looked very uncomfortable waddling down the hallway. I wondered if Tricia would waddle like that and be as uncomfortable if she were eight months pregnant.

That night, Tricia's last night on her trip, I sat down and made a list of the things I needed to do to make it happen. None of it would be too difficult, but it would be time consuming which meant that I was going to have to pretend to be the loving husband. Frankly, I wasn't sure that I was a good enough actor to pull that one off, but I had to try.

First step in the plan would be to get Tricia pregnant even though she didn't want to be a mommy yet. Well no, that couldn't be the first step. The first step had to be getting Herb out of the picture. No, damn it, I couldn't do that either. I needed him for the confrontation if the plan was going to work. Okay, the first step had to be getting me ready and I knew just how to do that. Every summer the manager of our Dayton branch took three weeks vacation and every year Charlie asked for a volunteer to cover Dayton for the three weeks Ralph was gone. That year I was Charlie's volunteer.

The three weeks in Dayton was just what I needed. It gave me time to settle my anger and rage, which made it easier for me to play the part of loving husband when I got home. I talked with Tricia every night and we did all the bullshit "I love you" and "I miss you" and "I wish you were here with me" garbage while all the time I was wondering if Herb was with her in our house and fucking her on our bed.

I came home ready to implement my plan. I observed, I calculated, I charted and I planned and waited for the stars to align themselves. It took almost four more months, four months of pretending to be a loving husband, before everything fell into place. Tricia had another trip to Atlanta and I kissed her goodbye the morning she left and as soon as she was gone I picked up the phone, called Marketing and asked for Herb Scott. I was told he was in Atlanta on business and wasn't expected back for three days.

The timing was perfect for me. I went to Charlie's office and told him I had a family emergency and was going to need a few days off and then I caught a flight to Atlanta. I lucked out and got the same desk clerk and she remembered me. After comparing my driver's license against Tricia's registration information she gave me a key card and I went on up to Tricia's room. I knocked several times and no one came to the door so I let myself in and found the same set-up I had found the last time - Herb's clothes hanging on the clothes bar next to Tricia's clothes. That was all I really wanted to make sure of so I went on down to the lobby and waited.

I hid behind a paper and sat there until the two of them came in and got on the elevator and then I got up and went to the restaurant across the street and had my dinner. The time it took me to eat was about the amount of time I figured that it would take the two of them to get naked and be in the middle of things. I went back to the hotel, took the elevator to the fifth floor and took out my cell phone. I called the hotels number and asked for Tricia's room. Just like that last time she sounded out of breath when she picked up.

"Oh hi honey. I was just about to call you."

"You wouldn't have gotten me."

"No? Why not?"

"Remember the time I called you and jokingly told you I was in the lobby?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Well sweetie, this time it is no joke. I'll be right up" and I disconnected.

It wasn't very sporting of me, in fact it was like shooting fish in a barrel. I was standing in front of room 507 when the door opened and Herb came hurrying out. He had a suitcase in each hand and all he had on was a pair of boxers. He never saw it coming as I sent my right fist into his face with all of my hundred eighty-five pounds behind it. I felt his nose break and I saw blood shoot all over the place. He hit the floor at the feet of Tricia who had been hurrying along behind him carrying his clothes. She had pulled on a robe, but hadn't tied it and it was hanging open and I saw her naked body and I saw traces of wet cum on her inner thighs. She was looking at me with an expression of horror on her face.

"Some things never change, do they Tricia. First Danny and now Herb."

I gave Herb two hard shots in his nuts with the toe of my shoe and then I turned and walked away. I headed for the airport and caught the last flight home. I knew Tricia well enough to know that she wasn't going to rush home from Atlanta. She would stay there and do her job so I had two more days before I would see her again and I used those two days to get ready for the next step in getting back at Herb. As far as getting even with Tricia, I wasn't yet sure how that would go down. It would depend on what she did. If she came home begging for forgiveness and really wanted it things would go the way I wanted. If not, what I had planned would still work, but wouldn't be near as satisfying.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Taking care of Herb was expensive, but if you want quality revenge you can't get it on the cheap. I knew a guy, who knew a guy, who had a friend, who knew a guy, etc., etc., and I managed to buy two pounds of marijuana and three ounces of cocaine. A Snap On tool salesman sold me a 'slim jim' and I was ready.

Like most XYZ traveling employees, Herb left his car in the company parking lot and took the company shuttle bus to the airport. I waited until after the building had cleared out and it was dark outside and then I slipped into Herb's office and planted half a pound of grass and an ounce of coke in the back of his lower left desk drawer. Next, I used the slim jim to pop his car's door lock and I put the rest of the grass and coke under the passenger side front seat. I locked the car back up and then I went home and waited. Over the next two days I kept an eye on Herb's car and the day I saw it gone I went down the street to a pay phone and called the police. I gave them Herb's name, address and car information and told them I had seen him selling dope to the employees at XYZ and then I hung up.

Two days later the employee cafeteria at XYZ was all-abuzz with:

"Did you hear what happened to Herb over in Marketing? He was arrested for dealing drugs."

"Darla over in Marketing said the police came to Herb's office with a search warrant and found drugs in his desk."

"Joe told me Herb got stopped for some traffic violation and they found drugs in his car."

"Fran said she heard that he pulled a gun on the cops and made a run for it."

"I was always suspicious of that weasel. I could tell he was no good just by looking at him."

Somehow Herb made bail and came into work only to be suspended pending an investigation into allegations that he was selling illegal substances on company property.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Meanwhile, Tricia had been calling me a half dozen times a day and I didn't take any of her calls. The day she returned she came into my office and closed the door behind her.

"May I sit down?"

I shrugged so she sat down on the chair on the other side of my desk. "You haven't been taking my calls."

"Given the circumstances under which I last saw you that comes as a surprise?"