Twilight Express Ch. 13-21

Chapter Thirteen: The Analysis

The next morning was dreary and wet. Since he had originally planned to work on a new proposal during his time in the country, Shinichi rose quietly while Melina slept. He had watched her move restlessly in her sleep for much of the night, her eyes twitching as if she'd been having a bad dream.

After about an hour's work on the proposal, Melina came into his cluttered little studio, still in her bathrobe and hair uncombed. Although her face was drawn, her mood was cheerful. She offered to bring him coffee. Perhaps they could venture out in the afternoon if the weather improved.

As she softly closed the door to his studio, Shinichi watched her leave. Already he was dreading her departure, not only because of her physical absence, but because she might decide not to continue what would soon be a long-distance relationship. It had taken him so long to find her.

The night before, he had realized he was concerned about Melina's opinion of what he had previously assumed was a shared sexual preference. He finally brought up the subject as they lay in bed together, speaking with some hesitation before asking a direct question.

"Do you ever wonder why I enjoy doing things to you that suggest I'm, well, sadistic?"

She was silent for a moment. "I can see why you would be concerned, but I admit I didn't wonder about your own motives. Or mine either, to tell the truth. I suppose the other half of the question should be 'Why didn't I stop you?'"

She explained that she had come to view his dominance as an act that resulted in an odd freedom.

"When you take control, you objectify me so that I'm nothing more - or less - than a body. The irony is that it frees my mind, simplifies things. I exist solely to be used by you, fucked by you, anything you want. And that's why it makes the sex so much more intense."

She was quiet for a minute then continued. "Still, I suppose we're still wondering why we chose these roles. And I don't understand why I feel so powerful when I'm helpless."

"I think I understand," he said. "You feel powerful because you are powerful. Without you, I can't be what really turns me on, which is dominant. Instead, I have to be a gentleman. And to meet a woman who attracts me sexually and also shares my preferences - the chances of that happening were pretty small."

She snuggled closer to him. "I'm glad we got our chance. You rock my world, Shinichi-san."

Chapter Fourteen: The Proclamation

The next morning, Shinichi realized he was getting nowhere on the new proposal. During the weeks after he first saw and lost Melina at the party, his concentration had suffered as he fantasized about her. Now that he had found her, his concentration hadn't improved - it had become even worse. All he wanted was to be with her.

He abruptly gave up and found Melina sitting on the leather sofa, still in her robe, painting her toenails cherry-blossom pink. "Would you like me to do your toes when I'm done?" she offered.

"Would you like a spanking?" he countered.

She kept him at bay with a wet nail polish brush.

She asked him if they could stop by the rail station later in the day so she could rebook her ticket to Sapporo; something Shinichi was already dreading. Shopping was also on their list. Shinichi had noticed that almost all of Melina's outfits were too big for her, and was hoping she would allow him to buy her some new clothes.

She had explained that her initial nervousness, especially during the first few weeks in Tokyo, had tied her stomach in knots and she had lost quite a bit of weight.

"I would think that being homesick would have made things even worse," Shinichi said.

He was surprised when she shook her head. "No, I wasn't really that homesick. I miss my friends in Boston, sure, but we're always emailing or chatting online." She went on to confess that she had told a girlfriend about him, and now they were the talk of the Boston office.

Shinichi wondered why Melina said nothing about her parents. Certainly she missed them just a little, otherwise she would not have been carrying their picture with her.

They set out in Shinichi's Lincoln after lunch. Since the weather was too damp for sightseeing, they headed for a local shopping precinct. After almost two hours of modeling outfits in a women's boutique, Melina chose a brown tweed Etro skirt suit, a silk blouse, and a retro-style Marni dress. Shinichi had picked out the dress and she had fallen in love with it before even trying it on.

As she carefully laid the clothes in the back seat of the car, Melina asked if they could make the train station their next stop. Shinichi hesitated. Not only did he want to offer to drive her to Sapporo - it would give him a few more hours with her - he was convinced that it was time to talk seriously about their relationship, no matter how much he feared the possibility that she might not share his feelings.

"How about we stop and have some coffee before the train station?" he asked.

They settled for take-out lattes. Shinichi drove up a winding road to a small park overlooking the ocean. Although it was sunny, the sea wind made Melina shiver as they sat on a small bench. Shinichi found his Burberry raincoat in the car's trunk and draped it over her shoulders.

Although he had rehearsed his words several times, Shinichi realized that he didn't know how to begin. Finally he began slowly and formally in English, thanking her again for accepting his offer to visit him. But it was all coming out wrong. Melina looked frightened.

He stopped, took her hand between both of his own.

"Melina, I have to tell you something. I'm falling in love with you."

Her reaction was the only one he had not considered. She began to cry.

Not knowing what else to do, he held her close. She hid her face against his shirt front, embarrassed but unable to stop crying. She kept trying to speak, only to manage a word or two before tears took over again.

Shinichi rocked her gently, trying to console her but inwardly panicking. Was she upset because she couldn't return his feelings?

After a minute or two she began to calm down. Shinichi produced a clean handkerchief from the raincoat's pocket. After attempting to remove her ruined makeup with it, Melina tried to dry his shirt with the now-soggy handkerchief. The result was that his shirt was not only wet, it was also smeared with black streaks.

"I'm sorry I've gone and upset you. It's not what it looks like."

He assured her that he wasn't upset, although his heart was beating like a bird's.

"When you brought me here, I thought you were going to tell me that you'd enjoyed my visit and would call me after I got settled in Sapporo. You know, the usual things men say when the fling's over. So I was bracing myself to hear that. And when you said what you said, I just ..." She paused for a second. "I wasn't expecting it."

She blew her nose before she continued. "I don't know why I was so sure you were going to dump me. I think it's because you looked so serious when you suggested we drive up here. The look on your face convinced me that you were going to give me some bad news."

Shinichi shook his head, tried to smile but failed. He waited for her to continue, knowing her next few words could either crush or elate him.

Finally she looked up at him, her nose pink, her lashes wet and matted.

"Shinichi, this crybaby's falling in love with you, too."

Chapter Fifteen: The Bargain

They stayed at the park for another half-hour, kissing madly like teenagers when they had the park to themselves and talking when others were around. Shinichi eventually asked Melina how her feelings for him had evolved.

"At first I liked your hands, then your eyes," she began. "After that, it took me a while to get used to the idea that you could actually be a boyfriend candidate."

She explained that ever since her arrival in Japan, she had been so busy and stressed that romance had never entered her mind.

But her explanation still wasn't enough. He had always wondered what had tipped the situation in his favor. Why had she eventually trusted him enough to accept his invitation to his home?

"It was after we'd played cards for a while," she said. "It was kind of a test, and you passed."

"How did I pass if I didn't win?"

She explained that she felt that a person's true character surfaced during competition. It didn't really matter what type of game they played; his reactions to winning or losing would have been equally indicative of his inner self if they were playing golf or Monopoly.

"If you had lost your temper because you were losing at cards, I would have stayed on the train," she admitted. "The way I see it, anyone who gets angry during a meaningless game is not going to cope well when a real problem shows up. And they always do, sooner or later."

He thought about her hypothesis. She had a point.

"It's just as well I didn't catch you cheating, my love," he said.

She looked up, wary; he kissed her to show he was kidding.

"Listen, my firefly. By the time we were playing cards, I would have let you take all my money, even if I'd known you were cheating. And I would have thanked you for spending the time with me."

She blushed pink, trying to hide her face between her hands. It was the first time he'd seen her blush; something he looked forward to causing again, although he expected it would be a challenge.

They stopped at the nearby sushi bar for an early dinner, saying little as they ate, trying not to look publicly love-struck. However, Shinichi found himself feeding Melina when nobody was looking. Simply watching her open her mouth to take the sushi from his fingers was, in itself, an erotic sight.

Once back at the house, Melina had gone to hang up her new clothes before joining Shinichi in the kitchen for tea. They had stood in the kitchen for several minutes, talking about future weekends together, before Melina realized that neither of them had turned on the burner.

Tea was never served.

The harvest moon had risen when Shinichi awoke. It was about 2:00 a.m. Leaning on one elbow, he looked down at his lover and wondered how the reality of her could be so much better than his month of fantasies. He brushed the hair from the side of her face.

"I'll always protect you," he whispered.

As she lay with one arm outstretched, he noticed a bluish oval mark on her wrist. He put on his glasses and turned on the bedside light for a closer look, realizing that the mark was actually a bruise. He carefully lifted her arm, only to find more, smaller bruises.

The arm's owner awoke. "What's wrong? I didn't wake you, did I?"

He shook his head and kissed the marks his fingers had left on her wrist. She inspected it, realized what he had found. "I wonder when those happened," she said, with no anger in her voice.

"I ... I think I know," Shinichi said. "I'm so sorry."

She looked at him. "I think I know too." She closed her eyes and stretched like a sleepy cat before rolling over to face him. "I didn't feel a thing - at least not anything like you hurting me. Quite the opposite, you may have noticed."

After an hour of lovemaking, Melina had ended up under Shinichi, her arms above her as she held onto the headboard to steady herself. Her auburn hair had spread itself in waves across the white linen sheets as he drove himself into her. She had looked up at him, whispered that she would always be his, nobody else's.

His reaction had been to reach for her wrists, holding her down while he forcefully sealed the bargain, his eyes burning into her own.

Chapter Sixteen: The Departure

It is more often than not that love brings pain. Therefore, those of us who somehow beat the romantic odds feel a vast sense of relief.

The next morning, Shinichi belonged to this small and fortunate group. He had finally begun making progress on the proposal he'd begun several days ago. His concentration had returned after yesterday's events. Combined with Melina's presence, he felt content, relaxed.

Suddenly she burst into his office, spilling her coffee down her shirt.

"Guess what? I don't have to be in Sapporo until next Wednesday!"

She had just spoken to her assistant Yoko, who was already in Sapporo.

Yoko had reported that the computer system for the research department had been delivered with the wrong configuration. The mistake hadn't been discovered until the IT department had installed the software, only to discover that it wouldn't run. The reconfigured system wouldn't arrive until Tuesday at the earliest.

Before Shinichi could respond, she suddenly went quiet.

"I'm not real bright sometimes, am I? I don't even know what your work schedule is for next week, and I'm already assuming you can take off."

"Come here, my love." He sat her in his lap and hugged her a bit too vigorously. Now they were both wearing her coffee.

"There are certain advantages to being the boss. One of them is taking days off without having to explain why."

He realized that he had never told Melina the details of his company.

"I don't have to answer to anyone but the owner. And the sole owner of my business is ... well ... me."

Shinichi explained that, when he decided to set up his own firm, Hitoshi had been his primary investor. "He owed me for all the hours I spent helping him study for exams."

He noticed that Melina's expression had changed.

"Is this a problem for you?" he said. "I can make you owner instead, if you like. Reilly Architects has a nice sound to it."

"No, no, that's not it. Not really, anyway." She paused.

"It's just that I used to date someone who was from a really rich family. What we would call 'old money'. After a while, it started causing some problems. I felt I didn't really fit in with his friends, and his family didn't seem that keen that he date me. Maybe I was just too young to handle the situation."

"I see," he said. He took a sip of her coffee before he continued.

"I don't know what to say, except I've never held the notion that money somehow makes you better. Usually it seems to work the other way around. You should meet some of my nouveau-riche clients. And you can't buy anyone else's love - not love worth having, anyway."

She kissed him. His sentimental nature charmed her.

"If the Beatles said it, it has to be true."

An hour later, they drove into town for groceries. Melina had eaten her way through his stash of sugar cookies and Shinichi had decided to FedEx his proposal to his new client. Melina wore her new dress and put her hair into a ponytail; it was an old-fashioned look that Shinichi loved.

Once, while opening the car door for her, he impulsively kissed the back of her neck. She quickly crossed her arms across her chest, which seemed an odd reaction until they were both in the car. Then she shyly uncrossed her arms to reveal her nipples standing rigidly at attention.

"Shinichi-san. If you ever get the urge for a quick shag, just do that again. I felt that kiss all the way down."

"Perhaps you were a geisha in a former life," he said, smiling. "They apply their white makeup in a special pattern on the nape of their neck. It's considered highly erotic."

She sighed. "I've missed my calling."

On the way out of town, a large and ugly delivery truck suddenly backed out of an alley in front of them, causing Shinichi to slam on the brakes. The Lincoln skidded and ended up less than a foot away from the truck's side. Shinichi swore in Japanese and glared at the driver, who pretended nothing was wrong.

As they drove away, Shinichi realized that Melina was hunched down almost below the dashboard.

"Are you okay?" He looked closely at her and realized she was shaking.

She nodded but said nothing. After a few seconds, she slowly sat up straight again, but for the rest of the way home she looked as if she'd seen a ghost.

Later in the day, Shinichi decided to go shopping again, this time on his own. He wanted to replace the lingerie he'd enjoyed destroying a couple of evenings ago, and also planned to look for a gift to present to Melina when they arrived in Sapporo. She had no problem with his going alone, explaining that she needed to catch up on paperwork.

His mind set on some La Perla lingerie he'd spotted in a magazine, Shinichi was gone for three hours. It was almost dark when he returned. Holding the brightly-wrapped package behind his back, Shinichi knocked on the guest room door. There was no answer. He waited, knocked again and finally opened the door.

He saw that her laptop was gone and the bed was made. He opened the closet door. In a dreadful second, he realized that all of her things - clothes, shoes, even her overnight bag - had disappeared.

He searched every room, looking for a note, a message, any explanation. Not a trace of Melina remained. It was if she had never been there. He ran outside, hoping she was in the garden. She wasn't there. He went back inside, going from one room to another, shaking.

Eventually he realized that he was sitting on the floor of the living room, still holding the gift box.

Trying to regain his composure, Shinichi began to review the day's events, trying to identify an incident that could have triggered her departure. Her reaction to their near-collision with the truck had struck him as odd, but they had also discussed money. Or had she decided that his friends and family would not approve of a foreigner as his lover?

The helplessness of his situation drove him near-mad with worry. Searching for her wasn't an option; she could have gone anywhere.

Finally he poured himself a drink and sat down on the sofa, his cell phone next to him in case she called. He turned on the television but paid no attention to it. His mind kept turning the day's events over and over like an over-wound watch. He finished his drink too quickly, poured himself another.

Chapter Seventeen: The Secret

Shinichi woke up on the sofa before dawn. At first he wondered where Melina was, hoping she wasn't nearly as hung over as he was. Then he remembered: she was gone. He half-walked, half-ran outside and was violently ill. Eventually he made it to the shower, avoiding his reflection in the mirror.

As he stood under the hot water, he suddenly realized there was still one place he hadn't yet searched. He turned on his laptop and began searching for Melina's company. He looked at his watch, counted forward on his fingers. It was about 8:30 p.m. in Boston - not too late to call.

After phoning two people who only knew Melina slightly, he was given the number of another researcher. Cathie was described as "one of Mel's best buds". With shaking fingers he dialed her number. An answering machine finally switched on.

Not sure what to say, he finally left a halting message saying that he was a friend of Melina's and could she please call him back collect as soon as possible. He returned to the sofa to wait, staring at the television's blank screen.

After about two hours, the telephone rang. "Are you Mr., uh, Shinichi? This is Mel's friend Cathie."

She spoke with what Melina would have described as a Baahston accent.

"Yes it is. Thank you so very much for calling. You should have called collect."

Cathie assured him that she could afford the call. She also admitted that Melina had e-mailed her and mentioned him.

Shinichi began to describe the week's events slowly, nervous but thankful he wasn't starting from scratch. When he explained that Melina had suddenly disappeared, Cathie interrupted.

"What? When? It doesn't make any sense. She's crazy about you."

This last statement was followed by an embarrassed silence. "Oops. She'd kill me if she knew I said that."

"Please. It's okay. Do you have any idea why she left, or where she is?"