8 New Tips

Okay, so I'm going to try this. I have gotten an awful lot of emails from men and women asking me to write a follow up to '7 Tips to GETTING good head." Even before the emails started coming in, I was thinking about it. But here's the problem. I give head A LOT. My lovers are spoiled rotten. However, I don't eat a lot of pussy. I mean I have, but I don't often. So I don't know what a person who eats pussy looks for in the ideal pussy. So I decided to research the issue. Not personally, but by talking to people who do eat a lot of pussy.

When I asked what they looked for in a pussy, some of them said, "A wet hole attached to a body with a pulse." Others said, "The pulse is optional." But some of the men I talked to had some helpful advice. I took their thoughts added them to my own impressions from my own limited experience and below you will find the best advice I can think of for GETTING good kitty licking fun.

1) Bathe and Shave - Most women are better about this than men, but it still bears mentioning. Especially the part about shaving. I don't mean shaving it completely (unless that's what you like), but make things a little neater. The woman's sexual organ is MUCH more complex than the man's. It's hard enough for a man to find everything without having foliage in the way. So make things easier - tidy up down there.

2) Masturbation is essential to getting good cunnilingus and better orgasms in general. You need to know what gets you off so you can tell him. Plus, it helps a woman overcome the baggage and hang ups she may still be working through. We are loaded with stigmas about sex, masturbation, self-love and our own sensuality and it's hard to fight them all off. Masturbation, which is a celebration of our own sensuality, helps us jettison all that garbage.

3) Communicate - This has a few parts to it. First, give guidance especially if he is new to the sport. As mentioned earlier, the terrain of a pussy is convoluted and confusing. Tactfully help him find your clit. If you won't show him where it is, you've got no right to be mad at him if he can't find it. Second, once he's found everything, let him know what you want him to do with it. Some women really love having their clit sucked or bitten. This makes some women SCREAM in pain. Some women love to be fingered while being eaten; others - it just annoys them. There are some women who will kick you out of bed if you even TOUCH their anus. For other women, that's what puts them over the top. You never can tell. So don't make him guess - tell him! It will make things a lot better for both of you. Oh, and if you intend to fuck this guy regularly you will see a marked improvement in his technique over time. Third, make noise during it. Let him know that you're enjoying it. Your enjoyment is his main reward so reward him. Moan, gasp, whisper his name (but make sure it's the right name.) If you know another language use it. One of my research subjects said, "It's all much sexier in language you don't know." Whatever sounds you feel compelled to make are fine. Just make noise.

4) Touch - Human beings are sensual creatures. We need touch - caring touch, loving touch or sexy touch. Grab his hair and pull him in. Touch his back or ass with your feet. Touch your own breasts or belly. There is nothing your partner will love more than looking up the length of your body seeing your hands caressing and kneading your breasts with your passion filled face above that. You've touched your breasts before and you know it's fun, so fondle your breasts - put on a show!

5) Move - this is closely related touch. It's part of the non-verbal communication that is essential to great oral sex. Tell him that you like it by moving your hips around, writhing on the bed, arching your back or moving your legs. Referring back to #3, this will help teach him. If he does something that feels especially good - make sure you move a LOT then. If he does something really crappy, suddenly stop moving or jerk as if in pain. Believe me he'll figure it out. So make sure you move a lot.

6) Relax – Relax and be in your body. Stop worrying that your belly's too big or your tits are too small. Those are worries for before the date, when you're in your mirror getting ready. They don't belong in your bed. If the guy is naked in your bed, he already thinks you're hot, so stop worrying. Just relax and let your body get into it. Let your mind may wander. If it wanders into a fantasy (For example, if instead of your partner, your mind imagines Ethan Hawke down there) – that's cool. If it wanders to whether you remembered to set your DVR to record "Desperate Housewives" or "Lost", that's bad. Bring your mind back to the business at hand. Relaxation can make the difference between terrible sex and fucking awesome sex. If you're stressed or tense your body will be and touches that should bring pleasure are just going to hurt. So take some deep breaths and enjoy the ride. It's going to be fun.

7) Fake it – This is controversial. We are all convinced that there's something wrong with faking orgasm since it's pretend. Well, so is your lip color when you put on lipstick. So is your body shape when you wear control top stockings. A well-timed faked orgasm can help your partner relax increasing his enjoyment. Many men are hung up on the woman's orgasm. They get very focused on making sure their partners cums and can get extremely uptight about it. So if you fake one, they can relax and get on with things and so can you. The real thing will probably follow soon after. A fake orgasm can help you relax and will help you get into the experience even more. Don't be surprised at how often a faked orgasm becomes a real one. Now that is a fun experience! Some people believe that faking orgasm damages a relationship. My answer to that is only if they find out. I have faked orgasm with almost all of my partners and they never knew and it ALWAYS helped. (I put in the "almost" so all my former partners will wonder if they were the exception. )

8) Provide a goal - most men are goal oriented. So provide some incentive. Promise to reciprocate or to fuck him. And then follow through! You might be able to trick him once or if he's really dumb or desperate twice. After that though he'll never believe you. Besides it's only fair to give back what you've been given.