My Affair with My Mother
It happened when I was 18 years old...the summer before I was to leave to go to college. It was one of those hot lazy summer afternoons and I was busy trying to sort out some belongings, as I was getting ready to leave home for the first time. I had taken the piles of magazines and comics out of the bottom of my closet and was sorting through them, preparing to toss most of them out. I thought I was home alone. I came across the well-thumbed copy of playboy I had used as fantasy material many times before. It began like that...I didn't realize that my mother had returned home.
I didn't hear her come into the room. The curtains were pulled tight and there was only a single beam of light coming from the bright sun outside the window. I was lying on the bed with the magazine in one hand. Suddenly I felt a hand over mine. Nothing was said, not a single word exchanged between us. I remember staying totally silent, as though I dared not move. My mother said nothing to me. She sat down on the bed next to me and I felt her hand very gently encourage me to continue my stroke. She was wearing a black silk dressing gown that was loosely tied with a sash in the front. It was a moment frozen in time that to this very day is so imprinted in my memory.
In almost a whisper I heard her say, "Let me do that." I saw that her robe had parted slightly and I could just see the outline of her breasts beneath. I remember thinking both, this shouldn't happen and please don't stop. Up to this point in my life I was essentially a virgin. I had masturbated many times but I had never experienced an ejaculation with any other partner. I knew that day that all of that was about to change.
The most powerful part of my memory is how slowly my encounter with my mother developed that day so long ago. She removed my hand and told me that she was going to show me how a woman correctly arouses a man. Her hand was so careful as it softly stroked my penis. She instructed me to lie back on the bed, and she opened the sash to her robe. She had on a black silk brassiere beneath her robe, and as she knelt besides me, I could see her full bosom within. She told me it was ok if I wanted to fondle her breasts, but told me to be gentle, and I could feel her nipple as I cupped her breast with the palm of my hand. We stayed in that position in my dimly lit bedroom for what seems like an eternity at the time. I had never felt anything that felt so good before in my entire life.
I was lying back with my eyes closed. The sensation of my mother's hand stroking my erection was incredible. Then I felt something warm engulf the tip of my penis and I opened my eyes to see my mom with her mouth around the head of my hard erection. My hands went instinctively to the back of her head and her red hair felt so soft and silky and with this slight bit of encouragement she slid the entire length of my penis deep into her mouth. That first sensation...of my mothers so warm and wet mouth on my penis sends a shudder throughout my entire body as that memory floods back into my consciousness as I write this recollection.
Lying on my bed in the silence of my dimly lit bedroom I can still recall the scent of my mothers perfume. It was both familiar and in some ways comforting. I remember feeling that I was going to lose control and have an ejaculation but then suddenly she stopped. She said that she wanted to be sure that I was developing correctly and that by measuring the amount of sperm I could ejaculate would be an indication that I was a healthy young man. She disappeared from the bedroom and returned several minutes later with a small medicine-measuring cup. She slipped off her robe, and sat down on the edge of her bed and told me to stand before her.
I was standing in front of my mother in a complete state of total arousal. She was sitting on the edge of my bed, now wearing only a black brassiere, and black panties. She told me what we were doing must remain a secret between herself and me, and made me promise several times that I would never tell anyone about it. She told me that she loved me very much, and that I was now a man, she would teach me several things about sex between men and women. I told her that I also loved her and that this would be our secret and that I would not share it with anyone. It has taken me 35 years before I revealed this story. My mother took my hands and placed them on her, cupping her breasts. She was a very buxom woman and standing there in front of her I see her breathing quicken as I started to softly fondle her breasts. She told me that we mustn't rush anything, and that the best sexual experiences were the ones where a great deal of time and patience was taken before the final climax.
My mother told me that I had a very large and fat penis for a young man. She was very slowly and carefully stroking my erection with one hand while with her other hand she gently caressed my testicles. She said that she wanted to make sure that my testicles should fill up with the maximum amount of sperm before she would bring me to an ejaculation so that she could measure it .I felt so in love with my mother that day. Her sexual attentions to me that afternoon felt like a loving embrace. I thought she was the most beautiful and sensual woman in the entire world. It was as though I was privileged to experience this rite of passage with her. I also trusted her and sensed that she was in control and was going to make sure there was nothing but pleasure attached to that special intimacy between us.
My mother suggested she take off her brassiere. When she unclasped her bra and I saw her naked full breasts with large dark nipples for the very first time. I felt a shiver run through out my body and I could feel her nipples now harden as I played with them with my fingertips. She continued to slowly stroke my fully erect penis and we stayed locked in that moment of pure sexual ecstasy for what may have been only five minutes but seemed like at the time, an eternity. She told me that she could feel my balls growing warmer as they filled up with my sperm. My mom admonished me to have patience and not let the sensation of her caress make me lose control and ejaculate too soon.
As I was standing in front of her, my mother slipped her had behind my waist and pulled me closer to her. She placed my erection right between her breasts. She told me to use my hands to squeeze her bosoms tighter and slowly draw my penis between them. This sensation caused a small glistening drop, to appear at the tip of my penis. I watched as she licked this off and then allowed the head of my penis to enter her mouth. Standing there between her parted legs, with my erection sliding between her breasts, and the end of my penis slipping in and out of her warm mouth, I struggled not to lose all control and immediately ejaculate into her mouth.
Suddenly my mother stopped teasing me with her lips. She told me she wanted to see how I measured up. She said that it was important for her to know my measurement. She had placed a small medicine cup and a foot long ruler on the night table when she had returned to the bedroom earlier. She took the ruler and gently placing it alongside my erect penis, she told me I was a full 10 inches. She told me that she would measure me again later that afternoon to check my consistency. My mother now said to me that it was time, that I experienced the power and joy of a full and complete release.
As she returned her attentions to ejaculating me with her hand, she encouraged me to let the feelings grow, from the base of my scrotum, down the length of my erection. She said it was going to be, her immense pleasure, to demonstrate to me how a woman could bring a man to a fully satisfied orgasm. As I stood before her, again cupping her heaving breasts, I felt the sensation of warmth building in my testicles. Her one hand was slowly increasing the speed of her stroke; as she fondled my swelling balls with her other hand. She told me she loved watching my penis respond, and to feel free to release as much sperm as I could at the moment that the sensations of her caress overtook me. In the stillness of my dimly lit bedroom that afternoon, I can vividly recall my mother urging me towards completion. She told me to "Let go for mommy," and to show her a full and powerful ejaculation. I had become completely transfixed on her attentions, when suddenly; I felt an involuntary arching of my back. I told my mother not to stop, that I felt like I was going to release at any moment. She reached over to the night table, and took the small medicine-measuring cup, and placed it at the tip of my penis. She said," Let it all go, my beautiful son, show me all the seed you can produce." With those words, I totally lost control. An immense wave of orgasm racked my entire body, and my penis began to spurt a large amount of sperm into the small cup she held. I heard her gasp as she milked my penis of its ejaculate for over a minute. I must have fallen asleep. It had to be an hour later I still felt very warm below. As I came back to consciousness I realized my mother was lying at the bottom of my bed and she was sucking on my penis. In no time I was again fully aroused.
My mother aware of how her attentions had brought me back awake, stopped her oral arousal of me. She said that she was glad I was so responsive, but that she was in need of some attention, herself. I had such a feeling of wellbeing and security with her and I was willing to do anything to please her, and demonstrate my love for her. She asked me if I would like to learn how to please a woman with my mouth. She climbed on top of me inversely, and lowered her vagina to my mouth. My tongue sought out her wet moistness as she again engulfed my erection with her lips. As she again suckled on my penis, I tasted for the very first time, the sweet secretions of my mother.
The sensation of my mouth suckling on my mother's vagina, while she sucked my penis was incredible. I put my hands on her bottom as she slowly rotated her hips, and my tongue darted into her opening. We both lay intertwined on bed for the next ten minutes orally pleasing each other. I felt her entire body start to shudder with an orgasm and that simultaneously caused me, to also ejaculate, only this time I felt her sucking my seed straight into her mouth.
After that afternoon's encounter with my mother I was unsure if our relationship would return to normal. We had lived alone since my dad's passing. In the days and weeks that followed nothing was ever said between us about what had transpired that afternoon. I had returned to my pattern of masturbatory fantasies, the only difference being, now I masturbated alone in my room with my mother being the object of my fantasies. In every other way, our lives had return to a familiar pattern of a parental and child relationship. It would be almost a month before our next intimate event occurred.
It was at the end of august when my mother announced to me that we would take a trip together to a cousins wedding. It was a 5-hour drive to the hotel where the wedding was taking place. It was a good celebration, however, I did notice that my mother consumed a fair amount of champagne during the party. When the event was over, my mother told me she was far too tipsy to make the very long drive home. Fortunately, we got the last available room in the hotel. When we got upstairs, the room had only one double bed. Many times before we had shared hotel rooms, so I thought little about that. While my mother was using the bathroom, I stripped down to my underwear, turned on the TV, turned off the lights and climbed into bed. Five minutes later she emerged in her slip, got into bed next to me and was asleep within 3 minutes. I remember watching TV for maybe a half an hour, and then turning it off and going to sleep myself. Sometime in the middle of the night consciousness started to slowly seep back into my brain. I was in that semi-awake state, and being in a strange hotel room, I was not totally sure where I was. However I was aware that I was pressing up against a warm body. I was lying on my side, right up against my mother, who had her back to me. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and in doing so, took off my underwear, and then climbed back into bed, and reassumed the same pose. I must have lay there for five minutes trying to drift back to sleep, when I became away of my mother, who was sleeping, suddenly pushing backwards. I could feel her slip was raised up, and her bottom was resting right against my penis.
Assuming that my mother was fast asleep, I tried to at first ignore her backside pressing against my penis, but she kept moving, causing me to get an erection. I just lay there silently, listening to the sound of her breathing, afraid that I would wake her and be scolded. There was a long period during which I didn't move at all, but then she would shift again, causing my erection to be pressed tighter against her naked bottom. I slowly started to push myself against her...and soon I felt the tip of my penis inch it's way between the top of her legs and the bottom of her ass. I heard her moan softly, and this again stopped me from moving for the fear of me awakening her. Again she slightly shifted her body, this time with the result of her legs opening a little. Now my penis, which had become fully erect, was positioned between her legs and I could feel the tip of it, rubbing against the warmth of her vagina opening.
I could no longer control myself. I knew that what I was doing was wrong but I had spent the preceding month, masturbating so many times thinking about precisely this. I remember thinking to myself perhaps if I am extremely gentle, and just try pushing only the tip of my penis inside of my mother, only a tiny bit, that maybe she wouldn't wake up and ever really know. Holding my breath, I rocked my hips forward ever so slowly, feeling the head of my erection just barely penetrate, my sleeping mothers warm wet opening. I then, just as slowly, rocked my hips back, listening intently for any sign that I was awakening her. Again I thrust forward, this time sliding the head of my penis back inside of her just a tiny amount deeper. I felt her ever so slightly wiggle her bottom causing the head of my penis to enter her even a tiny bit more.
I continued this pattern over then next few minutes, being constantly and totally aware of every movement of my mothers sleeping body. I would push the tip of my erection into her, and then lay perfectly still, trying to detect any reaction, and then withdraw it slightly. Then I just lay there motionless for at least 30 seconds listening. I was becoming so aroused by doing this that I couldn't resist the temptation of trying to slide my penis deeper inside of her. I felt her back up again causing my erection now to be almost halfway in her vagina. I could sense the wetness and warmth of her opening enveloping my now pulsating erection. Finally, after waiting a full minute, I took the big risk, and really, really, slowly, I slid the entire length of my penis all the way inside of her. I heard her let out a deep moan and then to my total surprise she suddenly said, "That feels so good."
At first I wasn't sure how to react. My assumption that she was asleep was obviously wrong. I Just lay there frozen still. But then I felt her begin to rotate her buttocks against me...and then she said 'don't worry.... I love you...go ahead with what you are doing to me." I felt such a release of all the tension in my body...She wanted this...she wanted me, and I wanted her. In this darken hotel room, in the middle of the night; I was going to lose my virginity, to my loving mother. I began to slide my penis slightly faster in and out of her, now pushing deeply, so that each time I could feel my testicles push up against her bottom. I was breathing heavily, lost in ecstasy, as I relished the experience of both making love to and fucking my mother for the first time.
As we lay side by side, fornicating in that dark hotel room, I was overwhelmed with passion for my mother. I heard her breathlessly whisper to me, "Let me roll over onto my stomach." Repositioning us, without me ever withdrawing my penis, I was now on top of her from behind. I could now sense my erection penetrating her very deeply. I remember her raising herself upwards, so that she was now on her knees in the hotel bed, allowing me enough room to cup her large dangling breasts, as I continued to pump my penis in and out of her. My mother had very large dark prominent nipples, and they felt so hard as I pulled on them. I felt her reach underneath and begin to gently squeeze my balls with one of her hands. "Your such a good boy, you're going to make mommy come," she said to me. "Let it go, fill me with your sperm" With that statement I lost all control, and a huge orgasm began to overtake my body, and I felt my penis spurting semen inside my mother's vagina.
Months went by after the night of the wedding at the hotel, and nothing was ever said between my mother and myself about all that transpired between us. We had returned to our daily routines, and although I masturbated frequently thinking about what we had done in the past, she never made any references to it, or gave me any openings or signs that we would resume our sexual relationship. It wasn't until New Years Eve that our next encounter would occur. I had a date for the evening, and my mother told me her plans for the evening were to spend the hours leading to midnight with our neighbors. My evening out was somewhat lackluster, as I wasn't really clicking with my date. I returned home shortly after 2:00 am, saw that my mother's bedroom door was closed, and I just went to bed. It must have been at least two or three hours later, when I stirred awake. It was still pitch black outside, and I thought I was in the middle of a most erotic dream, because I felt as if my penis was being sucked on. As consciousness slowly crept in on me, I suddenly realized it wasn't a dream at all. I was lying on my back, and all of the bed covers were off of me. My mother was lying at the bottom of my bed, and she had my penis in her mouth and was suckling on it.
I just lay silently in bed, the warmth of her mouth on my now fully erect penis felt sensational. In that semi-dreamlike state, I didn't want to suddenly spring to full consciousness. I wanted to pretend that I was still sleeping for as long as possible. She was sucking my penis so gently, and through my half closed eyes, I could see her naked form down between my legs. I let out a low moan of pleasure. She had one hand on my penis and the other handing was fondling my balls. I was getting so excited that I couldn't stop myself from placing my hand on the back of her soft silky hair. With this small sign of encouragement her oral attentions to my penis grew in intensity. I couldn't hold back any longer and my hips rose to thrust my penis deeper into my mother's warm hungry mouth. I lost control and felt a huge wave of orgasm sweep my entire body. I felt spurt after spurt of my sperm ejaculate into my mothers mouth. I collapsed back into the unconsciousness of sleep, with my mother's lips still encasing my penis.