Down Under Dee

I sat down at my usual stool at Kieran's, an Irish style pub in my neighborhood, and I naturally expected to order my usual Harp's or Guinness, from my usual bartender, Kevin Murtaugh, a gruff, but otherwise likeable fellow always willing to lend an ear. That was not what happened, of course, or there wouldn't be a story to tell. At any rate, there I was, waiting to order my draft, when the new barkeep walked up behind the counter and smiled at me as I ordered.

"You must be Sal. I'm Devin, but you can call me Dee. I'm Kevin's wife and he decided to put me to work here," the tall, sassy blonde with a light tan informed me in an unmistakably Australian accent.

"Well, as a long-standing patron, remind me to thank him. Yes, I'm Sal and I must confess that if you weren't Kevin's missus, I would be hitting on you a bit. I'm not going to lie about that. Where the hell has he been hiding you? Paris?" I chuckled while downing my first pint.

"Not precisely, but I used to be a model. I'm in my forties now, so a bit long in the tooth for that. After that, I tried acting, waitressing, cosmetology, massage, and now bartending. I was already tending bar when we met in Provincetown. I couldn't resist Kevin. We fucked in the dunny, mate, and God, that was terrific!" Dee explained to me with a saucy smile as she recalled the risky delights of fucking a man in a public restroom.

"The dunny?" I asked Dee, unclear of her meaning.

"The public toilet, mate. We got it on in the unisex restroom there. That was fucking awesome, too! We've had a hard time keeping our hands off each other since that point, about two weeks ago. We got married there, too, a bit of a rushed ceremony, and we've been going like bunnies ever since. It's been one hell of a great time since we met, and the best parts are yet to come, I think, especially since he gave me this job. It's a good thing that he got me this job, too," Dee admitted to me as she poured me a second draft.

"I gather that you enjoy this job very much, then," I grinned at Dee.

"Oh, very much so. Where else can I flirt openly while married and no one think worse of me for it? Let's face, we've been flirting this whole time and you know it. I like it myself," Dee taunted me.

I ordered a third round and began to drink it steadily, not too fast or slow, while flirting with Dee and the others, just as she flirted with multiple guys. That was when I noticed a very cute Asian lady, rather slender and petite, talking to the blonde and statuesque Dee, both of them looking at me very intently, both of them even licking their lips as they stared at me. I wasn't sure what to expect, though, in terms of whether they would keep staring or the stranger would approach me. That was when Dee poured me another round, before I could even finish my current one, not even asking me, and then leaned in for a whisper.

"Amy over there wants to fuck. I could say that nicer or use euphemisms, but fuck that! Amy wants to be taken. What do you think? Would you like some of that booty? Oh, and you might want to use the men's room for the action. Amy's a sissy, not strictly speaking a lady," Dee smirked as I spewed out a little of my beer.

"Woah...she's an actual sissy and she want to slut it up for me? Well, first let me buy her a beer, at least one," I suggested.

"Nope. Your money's no good here. Hubby's orders. If you get her a round, it's on the house, too, so try not to to buy her too many, okay? Not constantly," Dee declared as I finished my third beer and started my fourth, smiling as she poured a pint for Amy, too.

Amy stared at me, looked down at her drink, grinned impishly, and tossed it back like nobody's business. It was a heavy Irish stout and she had no trouble putting it away, defying all possible Asian stereotypes. That was when she bought a drink for me as well as herself: a shot of Jameson, neat. I didn't hesitate to show my respect and appreciation for her by taking the shot down the hatch without a chaser. It burned, of course, but was fairly smooth for straight whiskey, as it happened. I then finished my beer and walked over to Amy, slipping my hands up her skirt while Dee watched us with winks at each of us and obvious voyeuristic pleasure.

"You like the way that this feels? Dee likes watching us, you know. She likes knowing how hot and bothered you are," I told Amy with a low and husky voice, "I know your secret, babe, and I'm more than willing to keep it. Come on, let's get busy, you and I. Then we can send Dee home horny to her husband, I can meet up with my girlfriend later and last longer, as long as I don't think of you, and you can screw whoever your primary partner is later and wear them out. How about it, honey buns?"

"Surely you've noticed that I'm going commando tonight. I'm here with one mission, sir, and that is to have my booty fucking used and good by a guy like you. How about we take this to the bathroom and see if you're really as wild as you claim?" Amy countered, taking my hand with her own dainty one as we quickly reached the men's room and closed the stall behind us.

First, of course, Amy unzipped my pants and started giving me the sort of blowjob that makes a guy wonder if the woman is trying to literally suck the life force out of him. She had my dick inside her mouth and down her throat with a vengeance as she held on for dear life. She basically inhaled my cock and had my pubes practically tangled up with her nose hairs (if she had any of those left). Amy might well be anatomically male, but she knew how to suck like the best of the girls, in some ways even better.

That was when I felt hands on my ass and realized that we weren't alone at all. I didn't resist, of course, being curious as to what the owner of said hands had in mind for me as I began seriously humping Amy's face. Amy gagged and sputtered a couple of times from the eagerness of my thrusts, but she also winked at me more than once to show that she loved every second of being used like that.

This was when Amy stopped, handed me some lube, bent over, and hiked up her skirt to welcome me inside her bottom. Damn, she was one tight, hot slut as I lubed her up and fucked her good and hard, my hands also roaming toward her junk to play with it, much to our mutual gratification. Amy pushed back at me with her hips and booty, doing her best to get me closer to her prostate as I pumped in and out of her bowels. I didn't dare pull on her scarlet wig as I sodomized her, but I held onto her shoulders for a grip and made her my bitch.

The other set of hands wouldn't leave me alone, of course, and it wasn't much longer before their owner parted my cheeks to start playing with my asshole. I felt fingers probing me, much to my delight, even as I had very hot, steamy, rough anal sex with Amy. We were a train, me, Amy, and this mysterious third party, evidently a woman from the soft skin on her fingers and hands. It felt amazing to do something risky like this in a public restroom, the three of us having our way with each other, especially me inside Amy for my part. Amy certainly wasn't complaining, far from it.

At last, however, I was too far gone, especially with the stimulation to my prostate, and I spurted several jets of my white hot cum up Amy's ass, which triggered her own release. She turned around and kissed both me and my other companion on the mouth, not hiding her intentions in the least. I had done some rather risque and heated stuff before, but this qualified as some of the wildest sex I ever had. As I started to wipe my dick, Amy pointed downward to show me how clean it was.

That was when my companion, whom I half expected to be Dee, knelt before me and kissed the head of my cock as Amy joined her on the floor, licking me clean. I felt incredible as these two ladies, one of whom I didn't recognize, pleasured me as a team, their lips and tongues eagerly tasting my dick for the hell of it. It was a magnificent display of teamwork, including several French kisses with each other as they serviced and cleaned my prick orally. I also noted that the mystery woman wore a wedding band...and it matched Amy's, which I had somehow missed before.

"You two...you're a couple, aren't you? Man and wife, or should I say, lady and wife tonight?" I teased the girls as Amy's apparent wife now spread her cheeks to lick up all of my cum from her ass.

"Yes, Amy's my sissy hubby, but I love her that way. She's more of a wife these days, at least when she does stuff like this, but I'm very much a wife, too. We love to share men. Sometimes, I'm the bait, sometimes it's her, but the couple that strays together stays together, that's what I like to say, and since we share an interest in guys, why not share men? Every husband has a fantasy of two girls and a guy, and Amy likes that, too, but she wants to be one of the ladies, not the man. I hope that you'll date us regularly, if that's okay with you. We could be your girlfriends, if you don't mind. Even if you already have a partner or two, we can still make it work. I'm Naomi, by the way," the missus told me as she pushed back her ginger hair.

"Well, I have a girlfriend named Sasha, but we've only been dating six weeks, even if that's still longer than Dee has been with her husband. It's funny, we fuck like minks, but neither of us will bring up the subject of others, at least not yet, which still has me wondering if she and I think alike, if this is a good thing or a bad, that sort of thing.

"Still, I'm gonna keep dating her as long as we both wish it, because why not? It's fun to be with her and she's an awesome girlfriend in most ways. Even so, yes, if you're cool with this, I would love to date both of you on the side. It's nice to have an ace in the hole, in this case a married couple seeking a unicorn," I told Naomi as Amy and she rose to their feet to make out with me, letting me taste my own cum and Amy's ass.

"I'm next, you know. Bareback, just like her, please. All three holes, too. It's bad of me, certainly against our faith, but then so is adultery. I never claimed to be a 'good' Jewish girl. I'm nominally Conservative, sure, but I've been very bad about sticking to the rules, including the Torah and Talmud," Naomi told me as I finally got my pants back up.

"Yummy, isn't she?" Dee spoke behind us, standing just outside the stall.

"Wow...um, yes! So is Amy, of course," I grinned.

"And what am I, chopped liver?" Dee feigned offense.

"Oh, you know that you're gorgeous, sexy as hell, quite fuckable in your own way, but you're also married and I'm not sure what your husband would make of you doing more than just flirting," I reminded Dee, who responded by licking her lips.

"Dear, dear man, you have no idea what kind of marriage Kevin and I have. Now, come along back to the bar, please, before we draw the wrong kind of attention," Dee took my hand as Naomi took Amy's.

"What kind of marriage, then?" I asked, even as Amy and Naomi sat to either side of me.

"Open, of course. Not that different from Amy's and Naomi's here, but there are some key distinctions. We like to watch each other with others, but Kevin doesn't dress up. He dresses down and is usually naked or half-naked whether fucking or watching. It started when he caught me with a neighbor and it snowballed from there. He's accepted that I'm a slut at heart, though I had honestly tried to be faithful for a few days. It just didn't work. I've also helped him accept his own inner voyeur and give himself permission to be a stud, too.

"I've already fucked about seven guys and he's had four girls, though that I doubt that he cares or keeps score about that. I know that I don't care about such things myself. We do what feels good and fuck the stats! It's not a race or competition to beat each other. It's about sharing and loving each other for who we are.

"It's only been two weeks, after all...and we've just begun to play. How about it, man? Kevin and I really want this to happen. You were his top pick for one of my lovers. He badly wants to share his wife with you, namely me," Dee pouted as she poured more shots for Amy, Naomi, me, and herself.

"Well, for the record, if Sasha and I ever agree to swing, I'll introduce her to him...just in case. I can't promise more than that. If they click, then great, though. And then there's Amy and Naomi, but that again is up to them," I noted.

"Actually, sleeping with the owner of a pub has its appeal," Naomi winked at Dee, Amy, and me, surprisingly making Dee blush and giggle.

"Oh, I would love to see Kevin get it on with you two gals, perhaps while I'm riding Sal here. Maybe Sasha and I could gang up on Sal, in fact. I like girls, too. Two of those four sheilas that Kevin banged...also did me," Dee licked her lips at that memory, "Yes, I'm rather an equal opportunity tart, if you catch my drift."

"That all sounds very nice indeed, but for now, I need to call an Uber and go home. I'm a little too sauced to drive and I knew that I would be, so I didn't take my car with me," I observed, starting to feel the effects.

"Oh, come on, baby, just one more drink and then you can crash above the pub with us," Dee offered me, so I nodded my agreement, intrigued and flattered by her offer.

That was when I received a text from Sasha, telling me that "we need to talk." This was unusually heavy and serious from her, but I ignored it for now, because I got the impression that she wanted to dump me. I was in no mood for dealing with that drama. Instead, I spent time with Dee, Amy, and Naomi, tossing back a lot more than just one more drink, though I was the only one who got it gratis from that point. Between Guinness, Harp, and Jameson, I became increasingly plastered, until Dee had to cut me off and by that point, it was a blur.

I awoke to a serious hangover, of course, and I also had to piss like crazy, so it was to the showers for me, at which point I realized that I wasn't at home. In fact, I didn't really know where I was, and furthermore, Sasha was usually there with me on a Friday and Saturday, but where the fuck was she? Had we broken up? I vaguely recalled a text, now that I thought of it, of course.

In the shower, I felt hands on my back, moving down to my ass, and I had to admit that I enjoyed the attention, but who was it, I naturally wondered. I decided not to fret, but to just relax and let the owner of those hands massage me. The hands were soft and smooth, very feminine, and I definitely welcomed their caress as they washed and rubbed me. It wasn't until I turned around to wash the person back that I realized that it was Dee.

"Dee...damn! You certainly have a way with your hands," I told her as I began washing her with the puff.

"So do you, babe. I think that I should tell you that you fucked Naomi last night. And me. Yeah, you had both of us. Kevin had Naomi, too, while she went down on me. And then Amy fucked me, got fucked by Kevin, and then screwed Naomi. After that, you fucked Amy again. It was seriously hot, mate! It was a really wild night. I hope that you don't feel...you know, violated, or anything," Dee asked me.

"Well, first of all, I don't remember it. I think that I made it plain that I was open to each of you, anyway. I just want to be sure that I get to experience the fun awake. You didn't tape it, did you?" I chuckled.

"Not that this time, but if you want a sex tape, that can be arranged. Kevin and I had one done of me with two guys at once, two guys who had already been with me, one black, one Hispanic. It was fucking hot, I can tell you that! Kevin actually ran the camcorder much of the time, when he wasn't sitting and wanking off! I already have plans to get one of him with another woman or two some time, or maybe another woman and me. Why not one of you with me and maybe Amy or Naomi?" Dee encouraged my thinking while she fondled my cock.

"Damn, woman, you really do want more of this!" I teased Dee, who winked, knelt, and began sucking me in the shower as if her very soul depended upon it.

"You like, mate?" Dee asked as she swirled her tongue around the head of my dick.

"Oh, motherfucking God!" I cursed, even throwing in some Italian, as I was part Calabrese, part Irish, part Jewish, and part Boston Brahmin WASP (long story).

"Hey, I'm a slut. It's what we do, we sluts. Especially slut wives. Have to keep the hubs happy while we're putting horns on them," Dee winked yet again at me as she all but inhaled my cock, "Granted, it also helps if we help them and various other wives put horns on other men as well."

"Well, if every man has horns, nobody cares anymore, do they?" I quipped in a rare moment that didn't have all of my blood rushing to my cock just yet.

"Exactly!" Dee told me, even as she drained every single drop of my jizz from my balls and swallowed it with her usual enthusiasm.

"Holy smokes, babe, that was...intense!" I praised Dee's head work after she stood and gave me a very sloppy kiss, tongue and all.

"It was delicious! Nice and salty! I love men's cum that way!" Dee flattered me in turn, adding, "I look forward to a lifetime of helping certain women drain your balls and if you really want sex tapes, I would love to help make you an amateur porn legend."

"That's...nice to know. So, are we in your place above the bar, with Kevin and all?" I asked her now.

"Yep, mate, we're in our flat, Kevin's and mine, and I must say that I love fucking and sucking right above where my bloke works, and I hope to see him get bold enough to screw a sheila on the clock, in the dunny or maybe up here for a moment's privacy. He's been loathe to do that or else I think that he'd have more success. Still, he's now had girls number five and six, if you count Amy, and I do, because she was in her female persona and she's so damn feminine in that skin. He's certainly had number five, at least, not that it's a race. If he ever beds Sasha, that would put him even higher up, though with you added, I'm still ahead, if we were to compete," Dee snickered as we dried off and she used every chance to kiss and fondle me.

"What day is it, Saturday?" I asked as I started to get dressed.

"Saturday. Please don't leave yet. Come on, you can spend the day with me. I don't have to work today and I would love to spend the day fucking you like crazy. Amy and Naomi have gone home, so it's just me, though if you want to invite Sasha, you can. Kevin will be home eventually and you guys can share me then. If you need pills or water or soda or something, I have those for you. I just want to basically use you for sex today, unless you have somewhere urgent to go, that is," Dee urged me, already rifling through the medicine cabinet for some aspirin to give me for my now returning headache (the blowjob had helped dull it for a bit, as had the shower).

"Well, I should call Sasha and deal with her, but after that, my day is free, I imagine," I observed, showing Dee the text.

"Yes, I suppose that is fairly urgent, but do you mind if I suck your dick again while you call her? I've always wanted to do that with a guy, give him head while he's speaking to his wife or girlfriend?" Dee licked her lips in obvious hunger for my cock and I couldn't but grin in response, which she quite correctly took as approval.

Dee yanked my partially on boxers back down, handed me my cell phone, and pushed me aggressively back onto the edge of the bed, kneeling to kiss, lick, and suck me while I dialed Sasha's number. I still lived alone, being a decently successful publisher in my forties, so Sasha wouldn't know from where I called her. She didn't have the same plan or even the same type, with me preferring the more secure Apple and her an Android. There was literally no way for her to trace my call unless she was with the NSA or something crazy like that, and I'm not even sure that they could undo Steve Jobs's masterpiece. I preferred to work weekdays, anyway, so no one would know where I was right then.