That 70's Show-Fireworks at the Foreman's

(fictional story about fictional characters)

Point Place, Wisconsin was basically a small, boring mid-West hamlet whose one claim to fame was that every July 4th it staged one of the most impressive fireworks displays in the entire state. The event was officially hosted by the Chamber of Commerce, but all year long every organization in town; from the VFW to the Elks Lodge; would hold spaghetti dinners, pancake breakfasts, and penny-socials to foot the sizable bill for the explosives. Every business in town had a donation-jar on their counter for the "fireworks fund." Professional pyrotechnic engineers were hired to manage the extravaganza and it seemed like every resident joined in celebrating by having a good old fashioned backyard barbeque.

This year Red Foreman would be no exception. Being a veteran of the Korean War, Red enjoyed celebrating the birth of the nation he loved, and this year he had just been promoted to shift-manager at PriceMart so he had even more to celebrate. When his adored wife Kitty suggested the holiday cook-out, Red has surprisingly jumped at the idea. "We'll keep it small," she acquiesced, "just the kids and Bob and Pam," referring to their neighbor Bob Pinciotti and his current girlfriend, Pam Burkhart.

"Oh Kitty, not that dumb-ass," Red began to protest, "I see enough of him at work."

"Now Red, we can't NOT invite him," Kitty reasoned with her husband, "you know how easily his feelings get hurt...he'll pout for days. Besides, we can't invite Jackie and not her mother." Jackie was Pam's teenage daughter and one of "the kids" who hung out in the Foreman basement, seemingly constantly, with their son Eric and his friends.

"OK," Red surrendered, "beside I guess it won't be so bad having Pam around," and he chuckled.

"Oh Red, heh, heh, heh," Kitty cackled and slapped him on the seat of his pants, "you old horn-dog."

"You should know, my little fuck-bunny," Red answered and grabbed Kitty's left ass-cheek and squeezed. They were about to continue their playful exchange when they heard Eric bounding down the stairs in the living room and Red yelled, "let's get a move on it or you'll be late for work."

"That means you'll be late too," Eric chided him as he burst through the kitchen door with his PriceMart vest in his hand.

"I'm never late smart guy," Red corrected him, "I'm the boss. Now let's go before I put my foot up your ass."

Eric hated working for his father at PriceMart, but liked having money to spend on his gorgeous girlfriend, Donna Pinciotti. The Pinciottis had lived next door to the Foremans for as long as Eric could remember, and Eric had always had a crush on Donna. They had been formally dating for a couple of years now, and they were finally having sex. This Summer before their senior year promised to be the best of his life. Before Donna's mother, Midge, had left Bob, she had insisted that Donna go on birth control, and Eric still mentioned Midge in his prayers. Red had even recognized his age and let him have a beer now and then...if he was in a good mood.

When they got to PriceMart, Red reluctantly sought out "Brillo Head Bob," so named because of the curly black hair sprouting from his bulbous head; and invited him to his barbeque the day after tomorrow. Bob was working in the Produce aisle and Red couldn't help mentally compare him to a head of cabbage. "Thanks Red," Bob gushed, advancing to hug Red.

Red quickly stepped aside and reminded Bob, "here at work I'm Mr. Foreman; and you're welcome...it was really Kitty's idea." Red had never really cared for Bob, but had felt obligated to hire him when the big Sears opened in Point Place and put Bob's appliance store out of business. Bob had once hired Red to work for him when the Plant had closed leaving Red unemployed.

"What's this Mr. Foreman stuff," Bob inquired, "did I make you call me Mr. Pinciotti when you worked for me?"

"Yes...yes you did," Red answered sourly, "oh, and make sure you bring Pam...Kitty enjoys her company," he lied. Kitty found the conceited Pam as annoying as Red found Bob, but he figured this was pay-back for him being forced to invite Bob; and besides, Pam was exceptionally nice to look at. "How the Hell does he do it," Red wondered, "he has had two of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen."

"We can have it in my backyard since yours is so small," Bob suggested, always trying to trump Red, "and I have the hot-tub."

"No," Red quickly squashed the idea, "we're having it in my yard, with the grill in the driveway so my grass doesn't get burned. There is plenty of room."

"Well, I'll bring my grill over too and we can cook up twice as many burgers," Bob offered.

"Ha, burgers," Red snorted, "you're looking at the new shift manager. I just got a great deal on some juicy steaks."

Bob waved his finger and continued, "oh no, no, no Red. July fourth screams for hot dogs and burgers...it's tradition."

"I'll tell you what Bob," Red responded, "you bring your grill and burgers and we'll see who the better grill-master is."

"Deal," Bob shouted, "and I still have the hot-tub. I'll set up the volleyball net in my back yard."

Walking away, Red spoke over his shoulder, "you do that Bob," and under his breath, "what a dumb ass".

The next day was July third and Donna and Jackie slid the Foreman's back door open without knocking and entered the kitchen where Kitty was diligently toiling , making food for the next day's cook-out. "Hi girls," Kitty cheerfully greeted them as they made their way toward the cellar stairs.

"Hi Mrs. Foreman," Donna smiled widely back at her boyfriend's mother, "is there anything I can bring to the picnic tomorrow?"

"Yeah, Hi Mrs. Foreman," Jackie echoed, "my mother wanted me to ask you if there was anything we could bring...keeping in mind that my mom doesn't cook."

"Oh girls, heh, heh, heh," Kitty chuckled, "I told you to call me Kitty, after all we're almost family. No you don't need to bring anything but your bright smiles; but I could really use some help putting together my word famous potato salad. Heh, heh, heh, well at least famous in a corner of this neighborhood."

"Sure Mrs. Fore...Kitty," Donna assured her, "we'd love to help you. Just let us pop down to the basement and say Hi to the guys and we'll be right back."

As the girls bounded down the basement steps, they heard a cacophony of whistles and catcalls from the all-male gathering who appreciated their tight jeans. "Real mature," Donna drolly said as she sidled up to Eric, who immediately kissed her on the lips and dipped her back as if they were doing the tango.

"Looking good hot-stuff," Eric greeted her as they stood up.

"What's gotten into you," she asked, smiling.

"Oh nothing," Eric responded, "just glad to be here with my favorite girl and looking forward to the holiday. Maybe Red will even let me off early tonight.

Jackie went over to the blanket-covered sofa and sat next to her current boyfriend, Steven Hyde. "Hey," she offered as she threw her legs over his and leaned against him.

"Hey yourself," Hyde grunted, "what's up." He had come to be very fond of the air-headed cheerleader, but worked very hard at maintaining his "cool." "Don't get too comfortable," he urged her, "I have to go to work at the Photo-Hut...unless Leo's burned it down by now."

"That's cool," Jackie answered, "we have to go help Mrs. Foreman anyway. You'll be at the barbeque tomorrow, right?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss free food for anything. Hey Foreman, tell your mom I'll bring...me. No, seriously ask her if I can use her oven tonight to make some of my special brownies," Hyde laughed as he got up to leave. "Hey Fez, you're coming to keep me company...let's go...we can open up the envelopes and look at everyone's pictures."

Fez, the always agreeable foreign exchange student, jumped up smiling, "oh goody. The last time there were pictures of Mrs. Shields' naked boobies...I love boobies."

"Hey, what about me," Michael Kelso whined, "can I come too." Kelso was Jackie's former boyfriend, but she had dumped him when she found out he was unfaithful.

Just as Hyde was about to answer, they heard Red bellow down the stairs, "Eric...Kelso, get up here, I have a job for you."

Hyde opened the outside cellar door laughing, "see ya chump...come on Fez."

The other four "kids" trudged up the inside stairs to the kitchen where Red was waiting. "I need you two to go with me in the Vista Cruiser to get a block of ice and the keg," he announced. It needs to be on ice overnight to be cold enough for tomorrow, now get your asses in the car."

"The Vista Cruiser sure comes in handy sometimes, huh Red...I mean Dad," Eric stated chuckling as they slid the kitchen door open.

"Yeah, wise guy," Red answered pretending to be annoyed, "the way the rear seats fold down makes enough room to lay down, and that's where you'll be sleeping if you don't stop being such a smart ass."

"Well girls, are you ready to get to work on that sptato smalad...I mean potato salad," Kitty slurred her words.

"Whoa, Mrs. Fore...Kitty," Donna exclaimed, "you seem much more perky than usual. What did we miss when we were in the basement? And just out of curiosity why are we making the salad today instead of tomorrow?"

"First of all, the salad has to sit in the fridge overnight so that every chunk of potato can absorb the flavor and secondly," Kitty opened the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher full of green liquid, "I never make my famous salad without making a pitcher of daiquiris...would you like to join me. They really make the work go much faster...and much more fun."

Both girls nodded vigorously in the affirmative and Kitty quickly poured each a large glass of the icy rum concoction. They drank them straight down and poured a second glass. Neither had eaten a meal yet so the alcohol was immediately absorbed and by the time they were slicing boiled potatoes, they had to be extra careful with the sharp knives. Kitty's counter top was covered with food: potatoes, boiled eggs, jars of relish and mayo, huge pickles that needed to be diced, and cucumbers to be sliced for cucumber salad; and soon the floor was littered with the scraps.

They tool a daiquiri break and soon the topic turned to men and sex; just three girls sharing their thoughts. "So I'm not a prude, but are you girls taking precautions...you know...birth control," Kitty inquired.

"Oh sure...we're both on the Pill," Jackie volunteered, "Donna was first."

"Heh, heh, heh," Kitty cracked, "oh I know...the whole neighborhood knew. It was all anybody talked about. I might not have agreed with all of Midge's ideas, but she was ahead of her time about birth control. Speaking of which, Donna, is my Eric a good and thoughtful lover?"

Turning beet red, Donna blurted out, "jeez Kitty, I can't discuss that with you." And then the rum loosened her tongue, "well to tell you the truth, he does kind of rush things."

Not to be forgotten, Jackie added, "Steven does that too...and so did Michael."

"Ah yes, teenage boys," Kitty sighed, taking a sip of rum, "sometimes all they think about is themselves. I'm going to show you a trick to spice up the foreplay and give you a chance to get warmed up before they race to the finish line. First you have to think of something your fella likes to eat, heh, heh, heh, besides you I mean. With Red, it's mayo or strawberry jelly, heh, heh, heh."

Donna spoke up, "oh, Eric loves peanut butter."

Thinking for a few seconds, Jackie offered, "and Steven always has one of those freeze-pops in his mouth."

"Perfect," Kitty said reaching above her on the shelf for the jar of Jiff. She swiftly hiked her peasant-style skirt up to her waist, slid her plain white panties down and off her legs, used her arm to clear a space, and jumped up to sit on the counter with her legs spread wide. Their inhibitions lowered by the rum-concentrated daiquiris, the girls were not particularly shocked, but just looked at each other wide-eyed for a few seconds and then returned their attention to Kitty. "I use this trick on Red all the time, although he doesn't really need the encouragement any more, heh, heh, heh." She proceeded to scoop peanut butter out of the jar with her fingers and smear it all around the dark-blond bush that surrounded her pussy. "Now Donna you just pretend you're Eric, and believe me he'll be eager to munch on his two favorite things."

Donna dropped to her knees on the kitchen linoleum, with a slight reluctance placed her hands on Kitty's thighs and moved her face closer to Kitty's crotch. "Go ahead Donna," Kitty urged, "like I said, just pretend you're Eric."

"Well actually Kitty," Donna confessed, "Eric has never really licked me there...although I have always wondered what it would feel like."

"Yeah, me either," Jackie added, "neither Michael or Steven has ever done that."

"Oh you poor deprived girls," Kitty sympathized, "this will get their attention and you will finally get the foreplay you deserve...now go ahead dear, clean up that peanut butter."

Donna could smell Kitty's musky scent as she extended her tongue and hesitantly began to lap at the peanut butter caked bush. The more she licked, the more excited they both became. Jackie had kneeled beside Donna for a closer look and spontaneously began to squeeze Donna's breasts through her t-shirt. "Holy crap those are big Donna," she remarked as she grabbed them more firmly. Totally turned on by Jackie's fondling and Kitty's scent, Donna parted Kitty's thick pubic hair and began to lick her exposed slit. She let her tongue trail the entire length of Kitty's opening and then as if by instinct, she let her tongue slide between the lips and into her pussy.

"Oh Donna, heh, heh, heh," Kitty moaned, "are you sure you've never done that before. Trust me when Eric does this to you, you'll be in heaven." Donna continued to delve inside Kitty's hole with her tongue, her face now covered with peanut butter and Kitty's juices. Using her thumbs to part Kitty's folds, Donna easily uncovered her clit and bit down gently.

"Holy shit," Kitty muffled her scream with her forearm, as her body shivered on the counter top. "Oh my," she wheezed as Donna withdrew her head, "now Jackie, quick run down to the basement freezer and get a freeze-pop. We don't have much time before the boys get back."

Jackie bounced down the stairs and when she returned with a grape freeze-pop, she saw Donna wiping off her face with a dish towel and Kitty holding her skirt up to her waist as she scrubbed her bush with a dish cloth. Seeing Jackie, Kitty urged her, "quick get those pants off and hop up onto the counter." Jackie handed the freeze-pop to Donna and swiftly shucked her tight jeans and skimpy bikini panties before jumping eagerly onto the counter top. As Donna peeled the paper from the frozen treat, Kitty remarked, "oooo, fancy," as she spied Jackie's completely bare pubic mound.

Blushing only slightly, Jackie took a long swallow of daiquiri and admitted, "I read in 'Teen Beat' that all the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders shave between their legs so nothing peeks out of their uniforms when they do the high kicks."

"Well I guess we won't have to worry about picking any stray hairs out of our teeth, heh, heh, heh," Kitty giggled while elbowing Donna. Kneeling between Jackie's legs, they noticed that her labia were incredibly puffy and made up of several folds of skin. When they stretched Jackie's lips with their thumbs, they resembled a butterfly's wings. She was already very damp and Kitty warned, "this is going to be cold, but just try to imagine Steven waiting to lick it, heh, heh, heh."

As they held her open, Donna grasped the stick of the slowly melting ice and began to twist it into Jackie's cunt. "Oh my God," Jackie squealed, "I can't tell if it's cold or hot...I just know it feels amazing. Push it deeper."

Kitty began to nibble on the sides of the frozen dildo while Donna lapped up the melted drops that dribbled down between Jackie's tiny, taut ass cheeks. Donna slowly slid the icy prick in and out of Jackie's pussy and the heat of her excitement soon melted the entire pop leaving Donna with the bare stick in her hand. "Ooooo that's incredible," Jackie moaned as her body shook and Kitty and Donna licked her mound until it was completely clean.

"You see girls," Kitty lectured them, "that's all it takes to get your man to slow things down and pay attention to your needs."

"Thanks Mrs. Fore...Kitty," they said in unison, "we are definitely going to try this."

"Now come on, we better get cleaned up before the boys get back," Kitty reminded them, "we still have some work to do. I want to make some cupcakes for dessert, too."

"That reminds me," Jackie spoke up, "Steven wanted to know if he could use your oven tonight to make a batch of his special brownies."

"That would be so nice," Kitty agreed, "he is such a thoughtful young man. What makes them so special, by the way?"

"Oh it's the secret ingredient," Jackie began, as Donna gave her a stern look.

"You must mean love," Kitty guessed.

"Yeah, that's it exactly," Donna answered.

The trio was busily slicing, dicing, chopping and mixing when the men returned with the keg. Red had them put the block of ice in a huge old wash-tub on the back porch, then put the keg on top and covered it with a canvas. "That will be perfect when we tap it tomorrow," Red declared, "now remember what I said; you're welcome to some beer, but take it easy or you'll get my foot up your ass."

In the kitchen, the girls were all having trouble walking in a straight line after finishing the pitcher of daiquiris and were being very careful with the knives. When the men entered the kitchen there was an excessive amount of giggling going on and Red remarked, "you sure are a happy bunch."

"And why wouldn't we be with you big, strong men to take care of us, heh, heh, heh, " she cackled. As they passed on their way to the living room, Donna staggered over to the counter, grabbed a cucumber that was about seven inches long and pointed to Eric's back. Jackie and Kitty giggled loudly and Kitty pointed toward Red and held her hands about a foot apart.

Both girls' jaws dropped and their eyes widened as Donna blurted out, "no way."

"No way what gorgeous," Eric stopped and put his arms around her waist.

"Ummm, no way you're going to walk by and not give me a kiss," she slurred.

Beaming from ear to ear, Eric leaned forward and gave her a long kiss on her lips, surprised at her sudden urge for public affection. "Mmmm, you taste good," he smiled, "is that grape I taste?"

All three girls burst out laughing and the men just went through the living room door with a bewildered look on their faces.

When they were alone again, Donna gasped, "you're exaggerating, right?"

"Yeah, no one could be that big," Jackie added.

"Heh, heh, heh," Kitty giggled, "I probably shouldn't say it, but my Red is hung like the proverbial horse."

"Wow," Donna and Jackie exclaimed together, and then they resumed the preparation of the picnic feast. Kitty was going all out, even making a red (cherry) and blue (blueberry) Jello mold. She planned on adding whipped cream for the white topping. When they were finishing up and putting everything in the Foreman refrigerator to cool overnight, Eric passed through the kitchen and Donna quickly pulled him aside and whispered, "hey lover do you have time for a quickie, I'm really horny."

Eric's eyes bulged because Donna never initiated sex and he groaned, "oh man, it figures. No, I'm on my way back to PriceMart. Red is making me close-up tonight...but we have all day tomorrow; the store is closed for the holiday."

Sticking the tip of her tongue in his ear, she pouted and whispered, "you don't know what you're missing."