Ask Medusa

Dear Medusa

Do you think it's bad for the sphincter to have too much shoved up there?

I have been using the dildo on my employer as well as other implements.

Mr. Weinberger's hole is getting big enough.

My husband wants to corn hole Mr. Weinberger; and I don't want my hubby, Bill, to injure his dick.

Mr. Weinberger's hole might be too small, but I don't want it to be too big, either.

Ms. Su, the receptionist at Weinberger Motors, says that she went too far using the strap-on with her husband and she says there were detrimental effects.

don't want my employer to sue me...

Pamela

Dear Pamela...lube, lube lube...and larger and larger gradations of dildo will work.

Slowly you will expand your boss's anus till it's nice and big...

my husband's anus is now the size of the Holland Tunnel!

Go for it...

Love, Medusa

Dear Medusa:

My wife, furious that I told her to quit smoking, has begun me in a new training..

Yes, she wants me to become an ashtray!

She and her boyfriend have started using me as an ashtray. I really think that this is unhygienic. I feel like I'm nothing now.

Don't you think there should be some limits? Signed, Butted Out.

Perhaps you should have kept your trap shut, Buttsy!

Endure, my darling...and good luck with your healthy lungs!

Love, Medusa

Dear Medusa X Jones:

I have discovered the most marvelous entertainment for my gay friends when they come for tea on Sundays.

I have my husband Burke come out on his hands and knees, and take turns sucking each of them off!

First Burke crawls up to Rusty, my hairdresser, and he begs to unzip Rusty's pants.

Rusty usually laughs at poor Burke.

Burke looks a little ridiculous, naked except for his CB-200 and ballet slippers and bright red nail polish on his fingers and toes.

Burke is the high school football coach, and is quite muscular and threatening looking, generally, especially to an epicene creature like Rusty...

When Burke is in his Sunday afternoon pose, he just looks quite silly.

After Burke goes into his routine.

"Please, Sir Rusty, let me satisfy you with my lip-glossed mouth"

Rusty demurs for a bit, winking at his friends, and finally pulls his penis out for Burke's servicing.

Sometimes at this point Burke gives me a pleading look.

As you can imagine, there is nothing he wants less than to suck a gay man's cock, or any cock for that matter.

But I've trained him for the past few months with my big chocolate dildo, and Burke is quite the accomplished fellatrix!

I started him out eight months after our marriage by force-feeding Burke cucumbers, bananas, and finally huge black dildos.

It took some time, but Burke can now deep-throat with the best of them.

Once I actually put an ad in our free weekly, offering "chow time" to any young men in the area...they began coming in droves to have Burke suck them off.

His name is now on various public restroom walls...

Yes, it's done him so much good!

My rule is, if it takes Burke more than five minutes to bring Rusty to orgasm, I step up with my split-end cane

Then I whack Burke's narrow little ass until he sucks harder and brings Rusty off!

Then Burke must work his way down the line until he's sucked off all five of my gay friends.

One day they brought in a couple of Burke's boys from the team, and he had to suck them off too!

Burke is worried that this may not be good for his image, and he thinks he is losing his manhood and thus his ability to be a good coach.

What do you think? Am I endangering Burke's ability to do his job with my efforts?

Love,

Midge

(Lady Marjorie to you slave boys)

Image, reputation and attitude are not words allowed to slave boys...he needs to stop thinking, and worrying, and start obeying! Good luck, honey! Medusa

Dear Medusa,

Recently at my dog park, I met a gorgeous woman, about ten years older than I am, named Taryn. Taryn is fifty, but she has a curvy figure, and wears tight tops and cut-off shorts. I began talking with her as our dogs played, and at some point, she took me back to her house...

As I stroked her long, raven hair, I told Taryn about my fantasies of being spanked.

"You look so hot right now, I don't want you to take off your sexy clothes" I said. "But would you spank me?"

Soon Taryn had me across her lap, my pants down and was whacking my bare ass with her hairbrush.

After this she found the razor strop she used to use on her now adult son, and gave me fifty as I cried and squirmed on the bed!

While our dogs played downstairs, Taryn tied my hands behind my back and stroked my cock, and then made me go down on her.

It was a wonderful afternoon!

But since then, Taryn has become quite demanding.

My wife is curious as to why I am spending so much time at the dog park, when in fact, I am quite often going straight to Taryn's house, being tied down and whipped, and am a dummy for her make-up sessions.

Taryn has also begun "borrowing" money from me, and I am afraid she's going to take over my entire life. What do you think?

Bernie

Didn't seem like you had much of a life to start with, darling!

Enjoy Taryn's kind attentions...and introduce your wife so she can turn you into an obeying worm, as well! Love, Medusa

Dear Medusa,

My husband and I have been having a great time with femdom techniques, but recently, he has become resentful of my interest in going on "dates" with other men.

I told Phillip that infidelity is part of this scenario, at least on my part.

Oh, but he was so resentful, and referred to me as behaving in a "slutty" manner.

Phil was so pouty that I tied him up, naked, and called a work subordinate of his.

When the guy arrived, I put on my glossiest lipstick and a skin-tight pink t-shirt and told Phil that I was going to prove him right!

I went into the next room, and let the guy in...and I gave him a tremendous blowjob!

When the guy had cum twice in my mouth, I sent him home and the paper boy came by to collect...

I had the young fellow wait in the living room, and went back to see Phil, naked and bound in the bedroom.

As I re-applied my glossy lipstick, I told Phillip "Darling, I'm going to slut away beyond your wildest dreams!"

I toyed with Phil's sweltering dong a bit (he hadn't cum in 3 months and this was turning him on beyond his wildest dreams.)

I kissed Phil on the neck deeply, tickling the tip of his penis and then the underside, and ran back out to blow the paper boy.

Then I called Phil's best golfing buddy...

By the end of the day I'd blown six of Phil's acquaintances and had practically used up my glossy lipstick.

But now Phil is crying uncontrollably, and he thinks I don't love him...but I'm just his dominant bitch...what do you think?

Gertrude

As I said to Marjorie earlier...all that thinking is just poison for a slave boy...make him obey, or throw him out! That's the answer, always, darling! Love Medusa