Sometimes I'm a guy who is bit too casual with nudity. And why not? I'm in my 20s. I'm athletic and built pretty well. I'm not hung like a horse or anything, but I'm definitely way above average. Overall, I am comfortable with my body, but I'm not an exhibitionist by any stretch.
That said, this casualness frequently gets me into embarrassing and troublesome situations, but it's hard to stop myself. I'm just used to being naked in some situations and don't even think about it as something I should be more aware of. Specifically, I've been nude or partially naked at night, either in my home or on my property outside on several occasions, and it's never been a big deal.
However, once when I was younger (about 19) I was house/dog sitting for some friends of my mom in this wealthy neighborhood. They were going on a short trip – just four days. It was last minute, and the usual house/dog-sitter was unavailable. For $40 a day though, how could I turn down such easy money? After all, it was just me and the dog in this big house with ample suburban property – all covered with bushes and trees.
It was also a very hot summer night; I'm talking eighty degrees and humid well after sundown. And wouldn't you know it. The woman whose house it was had left me an extensive list of things, but she didn't say a word about how to work the super-complicated thermostat that controlled the air-conditioning. Whatever. I frequently slept nude on such nights, and walking around the house naked wasn't a big deal if it was just me and the dog.
Well the dog woke me up and had to go out at like 2:00 AM. I wasn't about to get dressed just to take him out, then undress again and go back to sleep. I momentarily thought about putting on a pair of briefs but thought "What's the point?" So I just walked out onto the back patio as I was.
Well before I knew it the dog was barking and running off into the darkness after some animal. I was responsible for him, so I ran after him - still nude! My dick was swinging and flopping about, and my balls were bouncing painfully into my legs. I must have been quite a sight, but of course, there was no one around to see me. I crossed through several other yards trying to catch him, but he was gone.
I don't know how many properties away I was, as I walked through the darkness trying to quietly call for the dog when suddenly I saw something. A spotlight! I flinched. It was coming from a police cruiser driving down the street and seemed to be scanning people's yards in an effort to find something (or someone?). I instantly jumped behind a tree, trying to avoid being seen at all costs.
My movement must have attracted attention. The cruiser stopped, and the light scrolled by the tree and then came back again slowly, suspiciously. It settled there. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I couldn't take it anymore. I sprung into motion, making a run for a splotch of shadows where I dove to the ground. The spotlight followed just behind me as I moved and soon illuminated my naked body in a bright circle of light. I just lay there in the grass, foolishly thinking that if I remained still the light would pass by me.
It didn't. To my surprise a female voice came over the loudspeaker, "SUSPECT! STAND UP AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!" What!? But... I'm still naked. The thought cascaded over my brain. "DO IT NOW!!!" commanded the voice.
Probably partly out of fear and partly out of an inherently conditioned desire to obey the yelling authority figure, I reluctantly stood. The spotlight was blindingly bright. With one hand I shielded my eyes and with the other I futilely attempted to cover my crotch (I'm not one of those guys who can hide his whole manhood with one hand).
"I SAID 'HANDS UP!!!'" the voice bellowed. Again, my arms instinctively raised above my head before I could think to stop them. This time the spotlight took its time scanning my naked, glistening body. The shining light hovered on my crotch for a time before settling on my face.
As crazy as this sounds, the slow moving light must have accentuated the fact that I was completely bare in a situation where I should not be to my brain and triggered an involuntary reaction. I felt a twitch down below. Oh no! Not now! I soon found myself sporting a growing erection. Why, oh why are guys plagued with sexual organs that fail to obey and take every opportunity to cause self-mortification!!?
As I stood pondering this question I suddenly became aware that an attractive woman officer was behind me, bending my hands behind my back, and cuffing me before I had a chance to even think of resisting. Wow! Was she really a cop? I mean, a pretty brunette with double-D tits who looked to be about 25, really!!? I had better say something. I started to speak up in an effort to explain myself, "Officer, I was just out..."
She cut me off, saying "A caller reported a possible prowler, but it looks like what we have is a pervert getting a few thrills streaking."
Totally humiliated, I protested "But I wasn't streaking, and I'm DEFINITELY not a pervert. Really! I'm not! Why would I 'get thrilled' at being seen naked by a stranger? I mean, this is embarrassing!"
"Whatever you say." she said with a deliberate glance at my erection.
Was she actually implying what it seemed she was? "What that!!? I wasn't trying to, um... get that way, um... ma'am. I can't control it you see, and... the lights, and... you're a woman, and..."
"I'll put it in my report." she said, interrupting. Then she took hold of the cuffs behind my back and walked me to the squad car. There she stood me facing the headlights which fully illuminated my naked body for anyone driving by or looking out of a window to see what was going on. It also gave her an excellent view, as she got in the driver's seat to fill out her report.
Frustrated and embarrassed, this is when I did something really stupid; I made a break for it. Who knows what I was thinking or how I assumed I'd get the cuffs off later. Well, she was after me in no time, yelling for me to stop. But I didn't stop. Again, I'll say that my running full speed, stark naked – this time with my hands cuffed behind my back – with all the wiggling and waggling that entailed must have been a sight to see. I was honestly surprised at how fast I was able to run in such a predicament.
And although Officer Bustos (as I later found her name to be) didn't physically catch me the dart from her Taser did. I felt something hit me in the butt, and then I went down in pain. Let's just say my dick wasn't the only thing flopping this time. What was probably only a few seconds felt like hours as 50,000 volts ran through me. Then she was on top of me, flipping me onto my stomach and forcefully planting her knee between my bare butt cheeks.
"That wasn't very smart." she whispered in my ear as she was on top of me. I could feel her heavy breasts pressing against my shoulder blades as she said it. The whole situation might have been sexy had the placement of her knee in my backside not focused the whole of her weight on grinding my electrified, and now shrunken manhood into the ground.
Moments later she stood up, pulled me to my feet, and walked me back to the squad car – in the process Mirandizing me, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can..." Was I being arrested?
"Since you decided to resist arrest, I'm going to have to assume you're hiding something." she explained. What? Was this really happening!!? Officer Bustos put on latex gloves before roughly running her hands through my hair and over my exposed body. When she reached my genitals she lifted and moved both sack and shaft, meticulously inspecting my privates as if I might be hiding a gun or something behind them. When she was satisfied she gave them a slight tug. Then came the worst part.
She turned me around and bent me over the hood of the cruiser. "Spread your legs. I'm going to do a cavity search." No!!? NOOO!!!! "SPREAD THEM!!!" she yelled. That voice again – it impelled submission. "FURTHER!!!" I did as she said, and a moment later felt her gloved hand penetrate me. Again, what couldn't have been more than a minute tops felt like an eternity of her probing around.
When finished she proceeded to push me into the back seat of the police car, and I noticed lights on in nearby windows and people staring out with wide eyes. Would my humiliation ever end? After a long drive to the station I was subjected to more prying eyes however. Officer Bustos again guided me in from behind with a tight grip on the handcuffs. I had thought maybe she would get me a blanket or something to cover my nudity with, but no, this was not the case.
She walked me right past three seated women, who judging by their dress had been brought in for prostitution. An unintentional glance at the cleavage on display betwixt the scantily-clad whores made my penis spring to life. The harlots all giggled and whispered to one another. Furthermore, the booking officer sitting at the desk in front of me – mere feet from my again fully-erect member – was also a fairly attractive woman. A gleeful smile and coy "What do we have here?" alerted me to the fact that Officer Bustos wasn't the only female cop interested in some late-night excitement at the expense of the poor naked guy.
I was eventually booked in for indecent exposure and resisting arrest and had to spend the night in an open-view holding cell naked – visible to anyone and everyone in the station. A few phone calls saw the charges dropped and me released with a stern warning. Overall, this has to be one of the worst situations my over-casualness with nudity has ever gotten me into. It was beyond humiliating, but ironically it turned out "ok," and to be honest, it hasn't deterred me.
P.S. The dog found his own way home, lol.
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