Delighting With Milk

I would like to thank Kimberley for her apt editing and making it presentable. Enjoy and if you like, please vote and let me know.

*****

ANITA

"Wow, you've more admirers today!" Auntie Uma chuckled.

Completing the usual three rounds of running along the grass track of a local park, huffing and puffing, I stopped in front of the bench where she was seated. Managing a faint smile, I enquired, "Really? Where're they?"

Starting a day with walking or running in the well-kept, small park brought many from nearby areas. Men and women of different ages gather together in the park for different reasons, some for brisk walks or running, and some for chatting more than walking, some for fitness exercise or yoga or just for fresh air.

As usual, upon reaching the park, Auntie Uma and I had walked together for two rounds and when she retired on a bench, I started running. We were sort of regulars in the morning and came to the park around 6 a.m. Auntie Uma was my co-tenant; we lived in the same building in separate flats. My flat was in front whereas her flat was at the backside of the building. She was in her early fifties, a tall, slender housewife with two daughters in college and a husband who worked for the railways.

Throwing myself on the bench, I sat next to her. As she indicated by looking at them, I noticed the group of four men, sitting on a similar bench about fifty feet away on our left. They must be in the age group of 50-60 and all of them were staring at us in unison. None of them bothered to shift their glances even when we turned to look at them.

I was not stunning or hot and at the age of 29, I was not in my prime but I always drew a second look from both men and women. I had common features, with 5'3" height, fair complexion, and long black hair. Even though I was a mom of an eight month old, I still maintained my figure and looked younger with my unblemished skin, tender face, and curvaceous body and could easily pass for 22-23.

As my fast breaths subsided, I asked her, "Aren't you counting today?"

"Yes, it's twenty-nine, including those four!" she replied with a grin.

"Seven more than yesterday?"

Giggling, indicating my sports tee, she said, "Yes, they're looking at your wobbly boobs while you ran!"

Smiling, I asked her, "And you're looking at them?"

"Yes, did you miss not wearing a bra?"

"How silly! No way, I'm wearing a new sports bra. I bought it last evening."

With mock disbelief, she asked me, "Really? Are you sure that you're wearing one now?"

"Oh, come on. I don't wear it at home but how can I come running without a bra? They told me, running or exercising while wearing an ordinary bra is very damaging, especially for a nursing mom. It causes sagginess."

Looking at my breasts intently, she replied, "You've got perky breasts, stop worrying."

"Yeah, they are! Since I'm lactating but what'll happen when I stop?"

With a mischievous smile, she told me, "Milk full or with no milk, you've the nicest pair!" she teased, indicating towards the group of four men, sitting on bench. "Should I ask them?"

I replied with smile, "Silly you!"

"Whatever, but your sports thing's worse than regular ones! You didn't sway so much earlier," she complained with a wink.

Trying to convince her, I explained, "Material's completely different, no wired support and very comfortable. But yes, more body hugging and feels like I'm wearing nothing. It's like my second skin!"

"That means you might've taken the wrong size," she quipped.

I smiled with amazement, "No, it's one size fits all."

Pretending to weigh my boobs with her fingers, she replied with mock anger, "Oh come on, it may be for sports persons, but not for a mom with big boobs like you!"

Bursting into laughter, I protested, "I'm not that big!"

"I see, you wanted bigger than what you have? When you ran, their eyes were fixated, even the ladies walking commented on your swaying tits!"

Looking at those men, I asked her, "How could I care about my look when I ran?"

"Indeed, don't bother. After all, men are obsessed with big boobs and women get jealous," she replied with smirk.

"Not all women, you're not jealous!"

With a throaty laugh, she replied, "Are you kidding? My daughters are grown up, they're in college, how could I be jealous of your boobs? Moreover, I was never hot or big like you!"

On getting up from the bench, I stepped forward and started free hand exercises. Raising both hands above my head, joining palms, I bent forward and touched my toes. Straightening back, I bent backward from my waist. I kept the posture for a while, when she remarked, "Hey your top fell short, showing skin around your tummy!"

"I don't care. Are they still looking at me?"

"Yes, they are!" she confirmed.

"Ok, let them watch, I can't skip exercising because of them."

"Yeah, you shouldn't, it's just harmless watching. Good way to start the day for them!" She chuckled.

*****

Enraged, being stuck at the office for over an hour, I didn't even care to reply when my boss finally allowed me to leave for a lunch break. On picking up my bag, I ran for my bike hurriedly. I bought a ladies bike for commuting fast between home and office. Having a breastfed baby at home, I had to travel between home and work, twice a day. I was lucky to have a full time live in maid. Tara, who was around twenty, was quite inexperienced with taking care of an eight month old baby but I had no other option than to leave my baby with her.

Both my husband and I were working for the same government department. When our baby reached six months, his transfer to another city came as a bolt from the blue. By then, I had exhausted all my leave but fortunately we had engaged Tara and she was working for us. I had no choice other than to depend on her to care for my baby. She looked after the baby in my absence, as well as helped me with household chores.

I had taken a small, two room flat on rent; having two mid-sized rooms, a small kitchen, a small storeroom, and a washroom, all inter-connected with a long shared balcony in front. The first room, with an entrance at left end of the front balcony, was the drawing room. The door adjacent to entrance, in the right corner of the drawing room led to the second room, used as our bedroom. Another parallel door on the opposite wall of the bedroom led to our kitchen. A parallel opening on the opposite wall of the kitchen led to the storeroom, used as Tara's bedroom. Next to the storeroom was the washroom with door on the opposite wall and parallel to the opening from kitchen. Adjacent to the washroom door, at the right side of the storeroom, was a door leading to a common backyard.

The old, two story, roadside building was not appropriate but it was close to my office and rent was cheap. It was not built for renting out but for a big family, quite common in olden days. The landlord inherited the building but with his small family consisting of a wife and two kids, he did not require so many rooms spread over two floors. He kept the first floor for himself and rented out the entire ground floor for an additional source of income.

Out of three rented flats on the ground floor, I took the flat on left side, in the front part of the building. A newlywed couple in their mid-twenties took the flat at the right side in the front and Auntie Uma had the flat at the backside of the building. We had a common balcony in front, which I had to share with the couple next door. A cemented pathway from the compound gate led to our front balcony and a similar pathway at extreme right of the building led to the common backyard and Auntie Uma's flat and the staircase to first floor.

The landlord's family did not mix with tenants and my relations with the couple living next door was lukewarm. As was common for old buildings, rooms on the ground floor were interconnected and there was a door in between my bedroom and the bedroom of the tenant couple next door. The door was bolted in order to make separate flats out of the interconnected rooms but there was a wide gap that could not be closed between the two wooden doors, which hung from the door frame. I tried to block the gap by placing a small wardrobe in front of it but distinct sounds from the bedroom of the couple continued to infiltrate my bedroom, and at night light from their bedroom splashed across the floor and my bed. I can only expect their experience had been the same.

I had to wake up at night several times. Whenever my baby cried or had to have his nappies changed, I had to switch on the lights in my bedroom. Naturally, it disturbed the couple next door. Nobody likes to wake up in the middle of night with a baby's cry. Sounds in silence of a night were clearer and I heard their irritated comments. I could not help them anyway but with time, we learnt to adjust.

Auntie Uma was very fond of my baby. Being a mom of two grown daughters, she knew the difficulties of a first time mom. She had plenty of spare time since her husband and daughters used to leave in the morning. Tara had a harrowing time in taking care of my baby so Auntie Uma assisted Tara in my absence. Her affinity, love and care for the baby and expertise were a huge relief for me. She advised me on the nitty-gritty of baby care and at times even helped me with daily chores. Because of work, household chores and my baby, I had not time for friends, but Auntie Uma and I got closer with passing time due to her daily presence and caring nature.

Getting delayed at the office meant feeding time for my baby had passed by an hour. While riding my bike, I felt a sense of coldness on my chest. I noticed in horror, two big wet spots on my blue top. The wet spots, from my leaking breast milk, were distinct and rushing air had brought the cold feeling.

I used to wear a sari at the office but switched over to a shirt-pants outfit since it was easier to ride a bike. With a sari, such spots could be easily covered with the pallu of the sari but not possible with a top. Worrying me, the wet spots were getting bigger. Cursing my boss for my plight and hoping no one would notice, I pushed the bike to go faster.

My paediatrician, strictly against formula foods, had advised me to feed him breastmilk as long as I could. I had no problem since I had more than he needed. Maybe, my hormones were at fault but I used to be so full that when I failed to feed him on time, I felt pain in my breasts and my clothes would become soaked with leaked breastmilk. At times, even immediately after feeding him, milk continued to flow out. Worrying, I consulted a gynaecologist and came to know that such pain and overflow happened with some moms and it was absolutely normal. It can be controlled with medicine if necessary but she suggested I consider myself lucky, having enough milk for my baby as in most cases due to insufficient production, she had to prescribe medicines to new moms.

On office days, routinely I fed him just before leaving, at lunch break and immediately on returning home. I had never been so late in coming back home at lunch. Tara, with worried expression, was waiting at the gate. On seeing me, she quickly opened the gate. On parking my bike inside the compound, I walked fast into the drawing room and was relieved to find Auntie Uma with my baby, sitting on a sofa. She almost shouted, "Oh my Gosh! What made you so late? He's hungry and has been crying for a long time."

I could not answer her, plunging with guilt. She had experience and could stop my baby from crying, even in difficult situations, baffling him with her baby talk. While I entered into the room he was silent, lying in her lap but on seeing me, he started crying. I sat on the sofa across from her, taking him from her lap.

"Why are you so late today?" she asked me again.

"I'm so sorry, you know, I've a mean boss," I replied.

By then, in desperation, my baby was about to suck on my wet top and noticing the wet marks, she yelled in surprise, "Oh my God, you're leaking milk."

I nodded, "I'll change first then I'll feed him."

She retorted, "Don't waste time, he's hungry. Feed him first, you can change later."

"Ok."

Nodding in agreement, pulling up my top and lowering my bra, I brought him closer and put his mouth on my left breast. Instantly, he started suckling but due to his hurried, hungry sucks, milk trickled out from the corner of his mouth and rolled down.

"Lucky baby, you're so full of milk!" she commented with a sly smile.

"They're painful with fullness and getting relief by feeding him."

"Yeah, you told me that before," she replied, pondering awhile before continuing with a smile, "Your husband comes on the weekend, so problem's on weekdays only."

I nodded with shy smile.

"Supply me free! I can reduce my milk bill!" She laughed.

Due to her jovial nature, she often gave me such funny suggestions. I quipped, "Silly you!"

"Oh why not? You pay Tara for taking care of your baby, isn't it? But I take care of him for free."

She argued, "You've milk in excess, so instead of wasting, you can supply me free in return." She winked.

Sound logic! In fact, she suggested earlier I buy a breast pump for storing my breastmilk. In case of getting home late from the office, she could use it for feeding my baby. I did not want my baby to be fed with stored milk. Storing and warming would surely lower its nutritional value, and harmful bacteria could pass to my baby with stored milk. I did ask my paediatrician and she suggested I avoid it as much as possible.

Sharing secrets with Auntie Uma was fun and we discussed many private things in spite of her seniority in age. I had shown her the gap on the doors in my bedroom and she heard sounds coming through the door gap from the bedroom of the couple next door. I told her how on some nights, sounds of their love making made me horny. She chuckled and suggested I use my fingers to get relief!

I felt horny while breastfeeding my baby and I was ashamed about it. But I learnt on sharing with her that many felt the same way while breastfeeding their babies and I should not be ashamed about it. Many such things, which cannot be asked to anyone, I could ask her and thus I became more open with her.

Leaving the room, Tara went inside to make snacks for us. It was her job and after some time she returned, carrying a tray, with snacks and two cups of tea. She kept the tray on the centre table and left for a siesta. I suggested she try to get some sleep while I was home.

Taking a few bites of the snacks, I asked Auntie Uma to have some but she declined and took a cup of tea. By the time my baby relieved the pain in my left breast, I exposed my right breast and swapped him. Annoyed with the break in changing breasts, my baby protested with small cries and she teased him with her baby talk, "Oh, see the greedy baby! He'll have milk but won't allow mom to have food!"

He was in no mood of listening her and continued suckling. Taking a few more bites, I took the cup of tea. We sipped tea while I explained how my mean boss delayed me at the office.

I did not cover my left breast while I changed him from my left to right breast. She listened, sporadically looking at my bare breast. It was nothing new, I used to breastfeed him, sitting with her face to face, talking to her. I had an inkling that she liked to watch me breastfeeding. She knew the feeding times of my baby and was always in my room when I had to breastfeed him. In fact, sometimes I purposely kept my other breast uncovered to let her watch. She never asked me for that but I knew from her gaze that she liked to watch and her stealing glances always made me hornier.

I checked myself with a secret glimpse and found a drop of milk dangling on my left nipple. She could not avert looking at it again and again and once on meeting eyes, she understood that I caught her looking at my naked breast. She said with a nervous smile, "Sorry for staring but the milk drop on your nipple is very tempting!"

I smiled. I knew it but with her unabashed admission, I straightened my back to let her have a better look. My panties were getting wetter with her open admiration. She continued teasing my baby, holding the back of his head then she pulled his head, disengaging his lips from my nipple. "No more milk, baby, you're full!"

Bewildered, he watched my face for a moment and started crying in protest. She pushed him back to my breast and he resumed suckling. But her teasing continued, "Greedy boy wants to finish all the milk? I'm also hungry. Won't you leave some milk for me?"

Distracted and puzzled, he looked at her face and then forcefully brought his lips on my nipple. Continuing their tug of war, she put her fingers around my areola and pulled out my nipple from his mouth, "No more milk, baby, rest's mine, I'm hungry."

He started crying again and she had to put my nipple into his mouth to pacify him. When he resumed sucking, she mockingly rebuked him, "Greedy boy!"

He was sucking but she did not remove her fingers from my areola and in a while, she started pressing on my areola to cause more milk to flow into his mouth. Never before had she touched my breast. It was shocking but I was getting turned on with the movements of her fingers. Busy in the act, her face reddened with excitement and milk rolled down from the lips of my baby. Since he fell asleep, she removed her fingers gingerly. For a while, she could not raise her gaze and look into my eyes.

Getting up from the sofa, carrying him, I entered my bedroom and put him on the baby cot. She came into the room, following me. My breasts were still open and after putting him on the cot, I moved to the dressing table, placed in a corner of the room. On picking a hairband from the dressing table, I turned back, facing her, and tied my long hair back on the nape of my neck. I took time in tying back my hair and she was looking at my open breasts shamelessly. Moving over to the wardrobe, picking a fresh top and bra, I changed to the fresh set in front of her as she watched unabashed. My panties were soaked but I decided to keep them on.

It was 3:05 p.m. and I went inside to wake up Tara as I had to leave for the office. On my return in the bedroom, Auntie Uma told me, "Ann, I've to leave now. Don't worry, he's sleeping. I'll be next door and Tara's here."

"Yeah, it's ok. Come at night, we can talk a while," I replied.

With twinkling in her eyes, she replied, "Sure, after dinner, ok?"

I smiled, "Ok."

As Tara entered into the bedroom, I picked up my office bag and instructed her, "Close the door and don't sleep now."

Tara replied, "Ok, come back soon."

Both of us came out of the room, leaving Tara inside. As I started my bike, which was parked in the front yard, she stepped towards the backyard and waved to me "See you at night."

"Yeah, you'll see me tonight."

She stopped and turned back, looking at me, she said with a shy smile, "Silly mom!"

Regretting my choice of words, I realised instantly that she misunderstood by taking my remark, 'you'll see me tonight' literally. She interpreted, as if I invited her to watch me tonight and she indirectly accepted my invitation with her 'silly mom' reply. She watched me just before awhile, since it was playing in her mind, she took my words that way, just her wishful thinking. Did she hint that she would come at night? Lost in thoughts with loss of words, I remained silent for the moment while she spoke again, "Ok, I'll come after dinner, around eight-thirty."

I laughed and nodded at her prior to speeding off on my bike.

***

Sounds from the TV were coming from the bedroom of the couple next door. Tara was fast asleep in her room. As usual for weekdays, we took an early dinner and my baby fell asleep. Bed for Tara was in the storeroom, next to the kitchen at the backside of my flat. She had a tiring day and I told her to go for sleeping. Switching off all lights, except a night lamp in my bedroom, I sat on a sofa in the dark drawing room.