Demographic Heterogeneity

For my sophomore year of college I put in for a room assignment in Maynard Hall, and I got it. Maynard was one of the oldest dorms on campus, small, ivy covered, with a reputation for being studious and quiet. All of that suited me fine. I hadn't liked the rambunctiousness of my freshman dorm and was looking forward to a more grown-up and serious sophomore year.

According to the computer printout, my roommate was somebody named Alex Bradley, also a sophomore, majoring in art history. As long as he was studious and quiet, I figured we should get along just fine.

By dinner time on check-in day Alex still had not arrived. I chose one of beds and one of the desks and was in the midst of organizing a few of my things when there was a knock at the door. It was a young woman with dark blond hair and a big suitcase. She seemed a little surprised to see me there. She looked at the paper in her hand, and then at the room number on the door. "Two forty one?" she asked.

Maybe it's Alex's girlfriend or sister, I thought. "Two forty one," I confirmed. "Here, let me give you a hand."

"It's all right, I've got it." She came in and put the suitcase down by the empty desk. "I've still got a couple boxes downstairs."

"I'll come and help." She was wearing blue jeans, a white top, and a black beret. She was almost as tall as I was, with a healthy complexion. Pretty, in a girl-next-door kind of way.

"Our bus was delayed," she said as we headed down stairs, "But at least we made it." There were two boxes. I took the larger one.

"Are you here in Maynard too?" she asked as I was closing the elevator gate.

"Yeah," I replied. "I was in Kimberley last year, and didn't like it so much. I thought a smaller dorm might be more conducive to scholarly contemplation." Kimberley was the freshman dorm, a sprawling, raucous madhouse.

"Me too," she smiled. "I'm so glad I got in."

Not only does she know my roommate, but she lives in Maynard, too, I thought. The semester suddenly seemed a little brighter with the possibility of seeing her around.

"So what room are you in?" I asked.

"Two forty one," she replied. "I'm Alex Bradley."

I stopped short. "You're Alex Bradley?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Well, it's just that I'm supposed to be in 241 too. I'm Tracy Kidwell. I thought maybe you were Alex's sister or girlfriend."

She looked at me and then looked at her printout. Tracy Kidwell, sophomore, history. She looked back at me. "They don't put boys and girls together in the same room, do they?" she asked, afraid that maybe they did.

"It's got to be a computer mix up. The check-in desk is closed for today, though. Let's see if we can find one of the RAs."

We left the boxes in the hallway, found the RA, and explained the situation. He said we couldn't do anything to straighten it out until the morning, but that we should talk to the female RA on the first floor to make temporary arrangements for tonight.

"Thanks, Tracy," Alex said. "I can take it from here."

I put the boxes into 241 for safekeeping. Although this was every sophomore's fantasy, to get a female roommate, it surely never happened in real life. The computer must know the gender of every student. There must have been a human error somewhere along the line. Alex could be a boy's name or a girl's name. So could Tracy for that matter. Well, hopefully the RA would be able to straighten everything out.

A few minutes later Alex knocked again. "Hi," she said, "It's just me, your roommate." She was making a joke, but she blushed all the same. "I'm going to stay with the RA tonight and try to figure things out in the morning. I just came for my suitcase."

"I moved your boxes in here so they'd be safe."

"Thanks. Do you mind if they stay here over night?"

"No problem. In fact, when you think about it, I guess this is just as much your room as it is mine."

"Thanks. I'm sure things will work themselves out." She had a pretty smile.

---

The next day was Orientation and this and that, and I didn't run into Alex until the afternoon, coming back to the dorm.

"Hi, Roomie," I called. "Any luck?"

"Oh, hi," she said. "Not so much. Maynard is all full up, and, in fact, there's a waiting list. There are waiting lists for all the older dorms. The only place with any vacancies are Tressider and Kimberley." Tressider was the largest dorm on campus, and the biggest party dorm.

"Even after you explained the mix up?"

"Can you believe it? They were very apologetic, but they insisted that mistakes do happen. Since there are vacancies in other dorms, they didn't see it as a big problem."

"That's not fair. They assigned you to Maynard, and now they're telling you that you can't live there?"

"That's what they're telling me."

"But wait a minute. You have as much right to 241 as I do. Maybe there are vacancies for guys. Then you could have 241 and I could move to another room."

"I don't think there are," she said.

"Still, let me check. Do you have someplace to stay tonight?"

"I'm going to stay with a friend up at Tressider. Listen, you could do me a favor, though. Would it be OK if I kept my stuff in the room for one more night? I don't want to have to lug it all over campus."

"Sure," I replied.

"By the way, they gave me a key. I already brought my suitcase back up from the RA's room. I hope you don't mind."

"It's your room too."

At the room she opened her suitcase on the empty bed and transferred a few things to her backpack.

"Look," I said. "I'm really sorry you're having to go through all this. I'll check tomorrow and see if there is anything I can do. If I don't run into you I'll leave you a note on the desk here."

"OK," she said. "Thanks for being such a good sport."

---

The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt about hogging the room for myself and making Alex be the one who had to find other arrangements. But the next day at the Housing Office I had no better luck than she'd had. There just weren't any vacancies. They sympathized with our predicament, but they could not guarantee anyone his or her first choice of dorm. I explained that we only wanted the dorm that we'd already been assigned. They understood, but things were the way they were. It was an unfortunate situation, but there was nothing that could be done about it.

I was thinking how to write this up for Alex, when she let herself in.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked.

"I'm pretty bushed," she replied. "I've been back and forth across campus all day. The problem with being homeless is that you have no place to rest. I came for a fresh change of clothes and a chance to sit down. How about you?"

"Well, you were right about the housing thing. I got the same answer you did. Vacancies in Tressider and Kimberley. No guarantee of a student's first choice. Blah, blah, blah."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"So how was Tressider?"

"I imagine things will settle down once classes start. It is a bit schizophrenic, though, having to sleep on somebody different's floor every night."

"I feel awfully bad about that. Maybe we could time-share this place. You could have it on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I could have it on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"What about the weekends?"

"We'll rent it out on Air B&B."

She laughed. "Listen, I was going to grab some dinner while I'm over on this side. Have you eaten yet?"

I was still pretty shy around girls, but Alex was so open and friendly that it was impossible not to be open and friendly in return. It turned out that her father had stayed in Maynard Hall, back when it was an all male dorm, and had pointed it out to her on several visits when she was little. It's ivy covered walls and mullioned windows were imprinted on her memory as the epitome of higher education and the academic life. She loved art and was excited about her classes. She told me all about the cathedral of Notre Dame, the topic of her senior term paper in high school. I told her that I hadn't been able to decide between archeology and anthropology, and so had chosen history.

We continued the conversation back up in 241, she on what should have been her chair, me on mine. She had an older sister and a younger brother; I had no sisters and three younger brothers. She lived on the edge of the country; I lived in the middle of the city. She'd studied French and could speak it fairly fluently; I'd studied Spanish but could hardly speak a word. She laughed easily; I couldn't help but laugh along.

Tomorrow was the first day of classes, and it was starting to turn dark. "Yikes, look at the time," she said. "I guess I'd better be going.

"Staying with your friend again?" I asked.

"That's the plan," she said somewhat wearily.

"Feel free to hang out here for a while if you like. There's an empty desk just going to waste. It has your name on it, in fact."

"It's just that things are pretty hectic at my friend's place."

"Then by all means. Look until we get things straightened out, you should feel free to use this room as your base of operation. You can keep your stuff here, use the desk, whatever. Just because I got here first doesn't make it any less your room than it is mine."

"It wouldn't be an inconvenience?"

"Seriously, it's your room as much as it is mine. I'm just going to do a little reading. Let me know if you need anything."

She organized some of her paperwork, sorted through her boxes, and got some things ready in her backpack. Then she looked through some of her new textbooks. At about 10:30 I put down my book and got my toothbrush.

"Oh, are you going to bed?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I want to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the first day of class. You can stay a while, though, it won't bother me at all. You've got your key. In fact, you can even crash here tonight if you want. That bed's free." I hoped I sounded more man-of-the-worldly than I actually felt.

"I could never do that," she replied.

"Suit yourself," I said.

But when I got back from the bathroom, she was still there.

"The thing is, . . ." she said.

"You don't even have to ask."

"It just would make certain things a lot easier."

"Do you need some sheets?"

"No, I've got them here."

"I think there's an extra blanket in your wardrobe."

Once the bed was made, she took a pair of pajamas out of her suitcase. "The bathroom is down the hall?"

"And to the left."

"Could you leave my desk lamp on 'til I come back? I'll just be a couple of minutes."

"Sure. I've got the alarm set for 7:00. Is that OK for you?"

"Perfect, thanks."

"Good night, then."

"Night."

Usually I slept in my underwear, but that night I just got in bed in my clothes. After a bit she came back and turned off her lamp. I heard her rustle the sheets.

I couldn't go to sleep right away. It was titillating and a bit arousing to be sleeping in the same room with a pretty young woman. I lay very still so as not to disturb her or give her any reason for alarm. The dorm was quiet, except for a creak now and then.

After a bit I could hear her breathing. It dawned on me that we could not let this room situation just keep going on from day to day. We would have to settle it, one way or the other. The gallant thing for me to do would be to move into one of those vacancies in Tressider. It wouldn't be the end of the world.

---

When the alarm went off, Alex was already gone, but her suitcase was open, so I guessed that she had gone to the bathroom. Before too long there was a light knock on the door, and she used her key to come in.

"Morning," she said. "Are you decent?"

"Debatable," I replied. "Did you sleep well?"

"Bright eyed and bushy tailed," she blushed. She was still wearing her pajamas.

"I'm going to go take my shower now," I said. "I'll knock when I come back. When's your first class?"

"Eight o'clock."

"Mine too. Want to stop for breakfast on the way?"

"All right."

I picked out a comparatively clean tee shirt and took my soap, razor, and towel. When I got back, she was dressed in shorts and a blouse. We grabbed a quick bite at the dining hall. Her class was way across campus. We agreed to meet again for dinner and try to resolve the room situation.

---

"Here's what I've been thinking." I'd come up with an idea, and all day long I had been trying to convince myself that it was worth a hearing. But, now that I was trying to put it into words, I was so nervous I was afraid my voice would quake.

"You want to live in Maynard, and I want to live in Maynard. The housing office, in its infinite wisdom, has seen fit to grant us both our wish. So here's what I've been thinking. Why don't we just take them up on it. Let's keep the room. Both of us. Let's share it. We're grown ups. We've both had roommates before. Issues will undoubtedly come up due to our, well, demographic heterogeneity. But I'd like to think that we'll be able to work them out. It seems to me that the benefits of living in Maynard would well outweigh the inconveniences. We've already shared the room for one night, and it didn't go too badly. I think that we could pull it off."

I noticed that one of my legs was bouncing up and down nervously. I was waiting for Alex to slap me. She didn't, but she didn't relax her brow, either.

"Maybe it's a crazy idea," I said, finally. "I can't really tell if it is or not. Half of me is convinced that it is a perfectly logical thing to do. The other half is cringing about what you must think of me now."

Alex weighed her fork.

"The idea occurred to me, too," She said at last. "Like you say, it has its plusses and its minuses. Do you think they'd even let us get away with it?"

"The wheels of bureaucracy grind pretty slowly in my experience," I replied. "Besides, according to the computer printouts, everything is hunky dory. Tracy and Alex, room 241."

"But we told the people at the housing office."

"It's hard for me to believe that they would do anything if they didn't hear back from us."

"The thing is," she said, "the 'heterogeneity,' as you put it. Roommates are always getting thrown in together without really knowing each other. But this is not exactly like me being from Kansas and you being from New York City. I'm sure there are plenty of good reasons why they don't put boys and girls together. I'm just not sure that things would be so easy."

"Well, I'm sure you're right," I admitted. "I'd just like to think that whatever came up wouldn't be insurmountable. I guess I'm just mainly upset about how unfair it is that they put us into this situation in the first place. Sharing the room just seems like a way that we both could win."

"I know what you're saying," she said. "I'm just concerned about the fine print."

"If things didn't work out, we could always change our mind."

"I guess."

"Listen, why don't we leave it to you to decide," I said. "Here's what I suggest. You decide. If you think we should try, we'll give it a try. If you think not, then you can have the room and I'll take a room at Tressider."

"That wouldn't be fair. We'll have to both decide. And if we decide not to, we'll flip a coin to see who gets to keep the room. OK?"

"OK," I said. "I vote to try."

"Let's both wait and see how we feel about it tomorrow. I'll stay one more night as another sort of trial run, and we'll make the final decision tomorrow."

I felt exhilarated and terrified all at the same time.

---

Back at the room, Alex started unpacking one of her boxes. I took that as a promising sign, but I felt a bit in the way. I took my book down to the Hall lounge. When I came back, she had on her pajamas and was sitting at her desk with a stack of notebooks.

"Getting things squared away?" I asked.

"Trying to," she said.

I checked my schedule and got things ready for the next day.

"I'm going to turn in," I said.

"Do you always sleep in your clothes?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I lied.

---

We were both kind of busy the next day and didn't run into each other. I waited for her to come for dinner, but she didn't show up.

I tried to work out the real reasons I wanted for us to be roommates. Part of it was wanting to stay in Maynard. But I was also just so intrigued by the idea of sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex, and with Alex in particular. I liked her, she seemed to like me. And she was a girl. Being roommates would create an instant relationship. Even if we weren't really boyfriend and girlfriend there would just be something so intimate, so sweet, about sharing the same dorm room, studying together, hanging out together, just doing the things that roommates do together. And, I have to admit, I couldn't help but think that living together as roommates might eventually lead to something more, to us really becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, perhaps even some day living together as a real couple.

Of course I couldn't share any of these feelings with Alex. Was that being dishonest? Maybe.

When Alex finally came back to the room that night, I'd already gone to bed. I wasn't asleep, but I pretended to be.

The next day the opposite thing happened. I got talking with some friends and came back pretty late. Alex was already in bed.

I tried not to disturb her, but I bumped into my chair.

"Go ahead and turn on the light," she said in a soft voice.

"Sorry," I whispered.

I got undressed in the dark. Out of habit I took my pants off too and got under the covers. But then the light turned on. I turned on my side to see her. She was in her pajamas, sitting up in her bed.

"We need to talk," she said.

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry about that. I waited for you to come for dinner, and then I got caught up with some friends."

"We're kind of just letting this roommate thing happen by default," she said. "We shouldn't do it that way. We should either decide we're going to do it, or we should figure out what we're going to do instead."

I sat up and turned around to face her. I was just in my underwear, so I put my pillow on my lap. "Yeah. You're right," I said.

"We haven't even seen each other the last two days. Is that the way things are going to be?" She was actually getting a little emotional, as if she'd been thinking about these things even before I got there. Her voice was quivering. "If we're going to be roommates, we should be real roommates. We shouldn't feel like we have to avoid each other. We shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable being in the same room together. We should just try to live together normally. Like real roommates." She was actually holding back tears.

I didn't quite know how to react. I hadn't been trying to avoid her. Things had just happened. "Um, I know I got back late today, but I was here all evening yesterday, kind of waiting for you, in fact."

She sniffed. "I'm sorry. I'm just . . . I didn't have a very good experience last year. My roommate wasn't much of a roommate. She had her own friends and spent most of her time with them. It just . . . it wasn't what I thought college would be like. And now it's happening again, and you're a boy, and . . ." She was practically crying again.

I felt in way over my head emotion-wise. Should I try to comfort her, put my arm around her? In my underwear? It didn't seem like a very good idea.

"Look, Alex, I'm really sorry about your roommate last year. It sounds like it wasn't a very pleasant experience. But not all roommates are like that. My roommate and I got along pretty well. Sometimes I wished he'd go away for a bit, but really we got along pretty well. We would have stayed together this year, but he wasn't too keen on Maynard. We're still friends, though."

She was listening to what I was saying, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'm sure you and me can be like that. Things have been kind of hectic these first couple of days, but we're getting along pretty well. We talk about things. We're talking now. I do have other friends, but I don't see them all the time. I certainly haven't been trying to avoid you. I really like you. I think it'll be fun to be roommates. I don't feel uncomfortable. I mean, it is still a bit weird being a boy and a girl, but we're doing all right. I think we'll do just fine." It was the longest string of sentence I'd probably ever strung together in my whole life.