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  • Effortless Cool Pt. 01

Effortless Cool Pt. 01

I stumbled a little as I made my way up the stairs in my house. It was somewhere around 3 am- or wait, it must have been later, because I remember laughing heartily while taking a bong rip at 4:20 am- either way, it was really late, and I was very drunk and very high. It was also the last day of winter break, so in only a few hours I would have to wake up and head to my dear old high school for a long day of trying to keep my eyes open. The only reason I hadn't come home to a pair of very pissed off parents waiting for me was that as of now I was a second semester senior, a careless being with no responsibilities whatsoever, and today was my birthday. I was 18, an adult!

I face planted on the floor outside of my room as I tripped on the last step, bruising both my adult face and adult ego. I carefully opened my door and went inside, rubbing my nose and hoping I hadn't disturbed anyone. I turned on my lamp and undressed, wobbling precariously as I did so.

I caught a glimpse of myself in my full length mirror as I was in the midst of trying to yank my sock off, and paused my struggle to look at myself with the elastic part of the sock still midway around my foot. I thought I looked pretty good, if I do say so myself. I was about 5'11 (rounded, not truncated) and was fairly in-shape despite not exercising, a habit I hoped to pick up before college, although I guess having to bike everywhere because I didn't have a car had helped. I had fairly short, messy brown hair, a defined jawline with a less defined bit of stubble that I rubbed contemplatively, and bright green eyes that I had been told were 'cool as fuck' by a very stoned girl I met once.

I grinned, pointed at my reflection and tried to say something witty, clever, and inspiring that would define the rest of the year. It ended up coming out as, "Chris, you're" and then deteriorating into a jumble of sounds that culminated in a long, drawn out yawn. Alright subconscious, I can take a hint.

I tugged my boxers down and kicked them into the large tower of dirty laundry I was constructing (tentatively named Babylon Pt. 2), then flopped down into bed.

"I'm pretty cool," I thought to myself, somewhat narcissistically, as I drifted off to sleep.

***

I woke up to find myself lying naked in the middle of a road that stretched out in either direction as far as the eye could see across the rocky, desert-like landscape I found myself in. Looked like Arizona, or Utah maybe? Not really sure. Either way, I should have been badly burned from lying down buck-naked on the black asphalt baking under the sun, but instead I actually felt really comfortable. When I put a hand down to help push myself up, it sank in and I realized the ground was Tempurpedic.

So, at this point, I realized I was dreaming. That took away most of my worries, although this was definitely the most lucid dream I had ever had. It was kind of crazy how realistic everything was, with minute details like scratches or tire marks present on the road.

I turned towards my left and saw a rest stop on the side of the road. That seemed promising. I made my way across the soft, springy ground to it, laughing and spinning as I did, taking a few opportunities to dive down onto the cement and feel it squish beneath me. I heard a beautiful peal of laughter as I was lying on the ground after a particularly fun flip. I lifted propped myself up to see who it was, my jaw falling open when I did.

She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on. She was black, with light brown skin and a large mane of black, exquisitely curly hair that glistened as it cascaded down past her golden hoop earrings onto her shoulders. She was wearing a Batman t-shirt that was way too small for her, stretching the iconic symbol tight across her perky, apple-sized tits. The shirt ended above her pierced navel, exposing a glorious expanse of toned stomach that descended down into the low-riding tight leather pants that covered her legs like a layer of shining paint, perfectly showing off her mind-blowing figure. She was wearing a pair of bright yellow Ray Bans and what looked like the Yellow Submarine Vans shoes to complete her color scheme, and overall just looked really fucking cool.

She raised a hand and waved at me, giggling. I unsteadily raised my arm and returned her wave, still in a stupor from the sight of her.

"Uh, hello," I said, barely able to recall how to speak.

"Hi Chris!" She said, smiling widely at me. "Nice cock, by the way," she added, winking.

I looked down at myself. I was lying down propped up on my elbows with all 7 inches (rounded, not truncated) of my cock standing straight up at attention from the sight of her. I blushed a little, then grinned and stood up, the knowledge this was all a dream and taking place in my head giving me the confidence to interact with her. I walked over to her with as cool and nonchalant of a gait as I could manage on the spongy surface, then stopped next to her and leaned against a light post beside her. The lightpost bent easily with my weight, and she let loose another beautiful laugh as I accidentally toppled to the ground.

I laughed with her as I righted myself. "So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?" I asked. I was standing near enough to her that my cock, which was still sticking out perpendicular to my body, was under a foot from her face, the purple head bobbing as I talked. She was still smiling widely, and as she lifted her shades and placed them on her head I saw that her striking hazel eyes were alternating between looking at my cock and my face.

"Oh, just my old bike," she said, gesturing off-handedly behind me. I turned my head to see a beautiful old-school Harley Davidson chopper that was colored a deep purple with gold trim. I whistled.

"Damn, that's a fucking cool bike," I turned back to face her and her eyes flitted back up to my face. "But I think you know that wasn't what I meant." She chuckled.

"You're right; I came to see you, Chris," she said, accentuating my name by tapping the head of my cock and smiling up at me. I laughed a little, making my cock bounce.

"Well, it would seem I am at a disadvantage. You know who I am and what my name is, but what about you?" I asked.

"That's a fair question," she said thoughtfully. Then, she suddenly grabbed hold of my cock and used it to pull herself up, jerking me towards her as she stood. With her hand still wrapped around my cock, slowly moving back and forth and softly squeezing, she leaned up into my ear and whispered, "I'm a goddess." Then she laughed and danced away from me, leaving me speechless and afraid to touch my cock lest it erupt. I swallowed, with difficulty.

"Well, I could already tell you were a goddess-" I floundered, trying to come up with a witty retort, but she spoke over me before I had finished.

"My name is Coolypso, and I am the goddess of Cool," she proclaimed, taking a deep bow before dropping her shades back down and leaning against her motorcycle in a decidedly cool stance.

"The goddess of Cool? That's a thing? Also, did you say Calypso or Coolypso?" The questions sprang out of my mouth in quick succession. She laughed.

"Yes to your first two questions, and it's with two Os, not an A." She looked at me over the top of her wayfarers.

"That's a pretty cool name," I said thoughtfully. "Alright, I'm convinced. So what next?" She laughed again.

"I definitely made the right choice with you," she said, smiling widely, almost proudly. I felt a strange feeling all of a sudden, and glanced down at my shuffling feet (below my still erect cock, that is) for a moment before looking back up at her.

"What choice was that?"

"Chris," she began, getting up and walking towards me, her hips wagging oh-so-wonderfully. "I have chosen you to be my champion- the Champion of Cool. And not just because of the alliteration, even though that is pretty cool," she added, laughing as she stopped in front of me and returned her sunglasses back to the top of her head.

"Wha-" I stuttered under her direct gaze. "What does that mean?"

"It means, my wonderful boy, that I am going to bestow upon you a gift-" she paused for a second, "The gift of effortless cool."

"Effortless cool?" I asked, mesmerized by how perfect her face was now that she was so close to me.

"Yes! Effortless cool!" She grinned. "I have been watching you for a long time and I know just how cool you are, so from now on everybody else will too." As she spoke, she returned her hand to my cock and started slowly stroking it again. "Everything you do, every joke you make no matter how cheesy, every come on you make to a girl, every smoke trick, every dance move, they'll all be just as cool to everybody else as you intended. No more social faux pas or things that sounded better in your head, it'll all go over perfectly, and everyone around will see you for how cool you really are, and in that way, you'll spread my Cool into the world, because let's face it, the world just isn't as cool as it used to be." She smiled warmly at me as I stared back at her, eyes wide, and licked my lips.

"So... what does that... I mean, if I-" She cut me off by pressing her finger to my lips and shushing me, then replaced her finger with her soft lips, pressing them lightly against mine as her other hand slowly ran along my shaft down to play with my balls. She broke the kiss far too soon but stayed close to me, continuing to fondle my balls as she spoke.

"No questions," she breathed into my mouth. "I know you'll do perfectly, baby. I chose you to be my champion for a reason, after all." She kissed me again softly, then abruptly pulled back, sliding her hand back up to grasp my shaft as she turned away. "Now, come on!"

Coolypso quickly sashayed over to the bike, her leather-clad ass swaying delectably in front of me as she led me by my cock. Then, she turned around and grabbed my head in both hands and kissed me hungrily, our tongues dueling with one another as my cock pressed against her bare midriff. She broke the kiss as suddenly as it started, looking into my eyes with a hungry look on her face as she bit her lip and smiled, then gestured to the bike.

"Hop on."

I cautiously climbed up and put my hands on the ape hangers. The seat felt surprisingly comfortable on my bare ass. Then, Coolypso scrambled up and onto the bike until she was crouch-standing in front of me. She turned to face me, then leaned back into the high handlebars, laying her hands on top of mine.

"Let me," she said. I removed my hands, giving her control of the motorcycle. I guess I must have looked a bit concerned about her ability to steer like that, because she laughed and said, "Don't worry, it'll all be cool. Now," she continued, "You're going to eat me out while I take you home, alright champion?" She smiled down at me as I nodded, grinning.

"Sounds like a fair trade to me!" She laughed as I vigorously set to work on getting the leather pants off of her, which ended up being a lot easier than I expected from how tight they were. I shimmied them down along with the Batman thong that she had stretched tight over her mound underneath them until they were both around her ankles, exposing her beautiful pussy to me. She had the most amazing caramel-colored skin, and she had a small amount of well-groomed hair glistening from her wetness above her pussy that was shaved to look like an electric guitar.

"God, that's so cool," I mumbled and she laughed.

"Don't forget these, baby," she said, and I glanced up to see her shirt had been pulled up over her tits, exposing them in all their perkiness to me. I slid my hands up and grasped them, fondling them and playing with her nipples with my fingers as I watched her writhe and squirm, moaning as she stood there. She opened her eyes and smiled at me as I felt her up, then suddenly revved the engine and we were off, the bike taking off quickly and ascending into the air until we were flying. "Now, eat, Chris," she said, and I got back to it.

I leaned into her pussy, breathing in her scent with my nose rubbing against her as my hands continued to knead her tits above me. I planted kisses all along the length of her pussy lips, eliciting little coos from her as I did so. I grinned as one of her hands displaced mine as she began to play with her tits, and then I dove in and slid my tongue through her lips until I was deep inside of her, kissing her pussy as my tongue wiggled around inside, tasting and licking her over and over as she moaned above me.

"Oh, fuck, Chris, you're gonna make me cum baby, oh fuck-" She managed to get out.

I continued tongue-fucking her pussy, then pulled out slowly, allowing my tongue to slide along her as I drew it out. I pulled my hands down from above, sliding my palms down her hot, smooth skin until my right was on the small of her back, pulling her crotch to my face as I slid the fingers of my left hand along her pussy lips, allowing just the tips of my fingers to enter her as I did so.

I looked up at her as she writhed above me, staring down at me with an expression of pure lust as she bit her lower lip and played with her tits. I grinned, then blew softly on her clit, causing her to quiver above me. I stuck my tongue out and flicked it across her clit quickly as I let my fingers dip inside her, then repeated the motion again and again as she moaned my name until I was energetically finger-fucking her while my tongue caressed her clit.

"I'm gonna cum, Chris, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna-"

Her breaths were coming quick and fast as she hyperventilated, so I leaned in as I brought my hand on her ass back up to grab one of her tits, pinching her nipple between my fingers as I shoved three of my fingers completely inside of her dripping pussy and wrapped my lips around her clit, kissing it while my tongue tickled it.

"CUUUUUUUUUUUMMMM!"

She wrapped her beautiful, smooth legs around my face, enclosing my head in a wonderful prison as she came, her juices tasting like the freshest, sweetest blend of peaches and mangoes and strawberries and all the fruits I could ever imagine on my tongue as she screamed out into the dream world, and then suddenly-

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock's incessant beeping to my right. I groaned in disappointment and reached over to hit the off button, but I found it covered by something.

I sat up and held up the cloth to the light. As I stretched it out before me it became clear what it was: a Batman thong like the one Coolypso had been wearing, and it was completely soaked. I brought it to my face to smell it. It smelled like the freshest, sweetest blend of fruit- well, I'm sure you can guess.

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