Night In

1.

10:30 PM and all I can think about is my bed. My friends invited me out, but nope, I decided a night in alone would be a better time. And I mean, I am right... Nothing better than staying home with a cat or two and watching Hardcore Pawn reruns... All I'd get at the club anyway would be some creeps trying to touch on my bum. No thanks, gross guys.

As I get up from the couch to get ready for bed, sad that I made Claire Cat move from her comfortable space next to me under the blanket, I hear a loud clang from out front. My paranoid ass should have never gotten a place alone... Like every dumb white girl in a horror movie, I go to investigate.

I unlock my front door and peek my head out, seeing nothing suspicious. I glance out by the curb, and notice my trash can has fallen over. Guess a cat wanted some of last night's dinner that I threw out. Good luck chewing that mess... I run to the curb to turn it upright - my OCD would not allow me to leave that overturned all night - and run back into the house.

I'm so sleepy... but I kind of wanna take a bath... All that running to the trash can and touching the trash can and running back from the trash can has me feeling a little gross. I lock the door, turn off the television, tell my cats they'll get treats if they follow me, and head upstairs.

I go to run the bathwater, pour in a little bubble bath, and go to my room to undress. The cats are watching me, and I remember I haven't given them a treat yet... Whatever, they're not starving. I head back to the bathroom, turn off the running water, and get into the bath.

After about 10 minutes of lying there with my eyes closed, I start to feel a little... frisky. What the hell... I notice the bottle of bubble bath on the floor. It's for couples, apparently. Has some type of scent shit in it that makes you all horny. Well dammit! When did Rite Aid start selling that shit. Guess it was in the condom aisle for a reason... But, I guess there's no harm in rubbing one out...

I start to touch myself, slowly running my hands across my chest and stomach, down my arms, up my thighs, rubbing the scented bubbles across my body. I move one hand to my breast, and the other to my clit. I play with my nipple as I rub myself, feeling myself getting close to an orgasm. It's been a while since I've touched myself, and it would seem this bath has me feeling really hot... I stick 2 fingers inside me, getting as loud as I want to... The one good thing about living alone, I don't have to worry about anyone hearing me.

...Except those stupid fucking cats. I hear them meowing and hissing in the hallway. Either they're fighting again or they really wanted those fucking treats. I scream at them to shut the hell up, still trying to get myself off, but they just won't quit. I get up out of the bath, throw a towel around me, head out into the hall -

- and run straight into a man. A man. Like, I don't live with a man, and there's a man right here. Not only is he a man, in my hallway, but he's got his fucking cock out. Has he been... watching me? Oh god... why am I turned on? Either this Rite Aid shit is mad strong or there's something fucking wrong with me.

I scream, and he puts his hand over my mouth. God, I hope that's not the hand he was touching himself with... What if he has AIDS?

He tells me not to scream, and moves his hand away from my mouth. "I'm not here to hurt you," he tells me. Well isn't that a relief... he's just here to watch me as I masturbate. No harm there.

"What the hell do you want? Who are you? WHY are you in my fucking house?"

"I... I just... I couldn't wait anymore..."

Wait? What is he talking about? I've never seen this guy before... maybe he's got the wrong girl?

No... I've seen him... a few times. Around my job, around the neighborhood... I figure he just lived close by... Has he been... fucking STALKING me?! Who is this guy?!

"What the fuck do you want from me?!" God, April, like it's not obvious...

"I've been watching you for a while now... I think you're so beautiful..."

"So why didn't you approach me like a normal fucking person? You had to follow me home, sneak into my fucking house? Are you fucking retarded?"

"I like it better this way..." he says, as he picks me up and carries me to my bedroom.

"What in the fuck is wrong with you, let me go!" I beat on his chest but he doesn't let go. He just smiles. What in the fuck is he smiling for?!

He throws me on the bed, and I don't know if it's fear, or something else, but I don't move. I just stare at him. This man... pants undone, cock out, hard as fuck... and he's handsome... and why am I thinking this about some fucking dude that's been fucking stalking me?!

"I don't think you got to finish back there..." he gestures to the bathroom. He leans over me, yanking my towel away and leaving me naked beneath him. I'm scared, I think... I don't know what I'm feeling. I mean, I don't know this guy... He's cute, sure, and his cock is fucking MAGNIFICENT, but who the hell is he?! I don't know anything about him... besides the fact that he's been stalking me! Seriously, I need to call the police or something, because this shit ain't right.

Before I can even glance over at the phone on my night stand, he's pushing my legs apart and licking my cunt. And God DAMN is he good. It's been way too long since I've had someone do this to me... I almost forgot how fucking good it feels... God, what am I thinking, he's fucking RAPING me! I grab his head and push him away.

"Get the hell out of here, before I call the police!" He stands, smirks, and grabs my panties I took off earlier from off the floor. While I'm screaming at him about rape and AIDS and calling the cops, he straddles me and shoves my panties into my mouth. He then pulls the telephone cord from the wall and ties my hands with it. Well fuck.

"How about you stop with all the screaming and just let it happen, baby?" While I'm mumbling protests through the panties in my mouth, he pulls out a knife. Fuck fuck come on like SERIOUSLY? I just want to go to sleep man...

He runs the blade down my body, around my nipples, poking at my breasts. Lower, then, down to the inside of my thigh. He's dragging the knife up and down, each time getting closer to my sex... God, why the hell is this turning me ON? Maybe I should tell him. Maybe he's one of those guys that gets turned on by the fight. I am so not about to give in to that shit...

"No more screaming, ok?" he asks. I nod my head.

He takes my panties out of my mouth and I don't say a word. I just glare at him. Who does he think he is... Coming into my house like this. Turning me on like this... This would be so much better if he just asked for my number or something! Instead I'm here, being turned on by the fact that I'm being raped and questioning my sanity.

Now he's running the blade back up my body, over my breasts, across my neck, over my cheek, and up to my hands, where he cuts the phone cord, releasing me.

"I don't want to hurt you. Don't fight me."

So he doesn't want me to fight him? Or maybe he's just saying that so I will. Ugh, I don't know what to do! But, he does have a pretty thick knife in his hands... Maybe I should just listen to him...

He starts kissing my neck, my ear, licking it softly. Holding my arms down, he forces a knee between my legs, and I try to keep them closed. He's stronger than me, and he's got my legs open and my cunt is wet and ready for him to just take me. Stupid vagina, why are you making this easier for him...

He starts to rub his cock in my slit, and GOD it feels good... the way he's rubbing himself against my clit, so close to penetrating me... He's teasing me. He can tell how wet I am, he knows I want this... but he's fucking teasing me. I hate him so much! How can someone I don't even know have me feeling like this!

I can't take this anymore. I just want it to be over... I reach down to grab him, to make him fuck me and cum and be done with me, but he slaps me hard across the face.

"Do not touch me. I'm in charge here." God, why does he have to make this so complicated?!

"Do you want my cock?" he asks. Of course I don't. I mean... I just want him to get it over with. Right...? I just nod my head, close my eyes, and wait for him to take me.

"Then it's yours." He grabs my hair and brings my face to his cock, forcing it inside my mouth. I choke on his length, and he pulls out and slaps me again.

"Take it like the slut you are. I know you can, baby..." He slides back into my mouth and I try my best not to choke. I lick him and suck him and taste a bit of pre-cum, and GOD WHY DOES IT TASTE SO GOOD. I need this to be over with. I'm not thinking right.

He pulls out again and asks if I want him to fuck my pussy. And I nod, because I do. I want his thick cock inside me, and I don't care how fucking insane it is. This man has turned me on more than I've ever been before, and I'll think about how I should see a shrink in the morning. Right now, this is what I want.

He turns me around, onto my hands and knees, spits onto my ass, and shoves a finger inside. I moan out, and he takes his cock and sits it at my entrance. Fingering my ass, he runs his cock up and down, teasing me again... I can't take it. I move back into him and his cock pierces me, making me scream in pleasure. He smacks my ass and asks me if I want him to fuck me hard.

"Yes! God, please, yes!" I've lost it. Completely.

He's fucking me so hard, so deep, so fast, all I can do is shove my face into my pillow and scream and cry out and take what he's giving me. He's still fingering my ass, and the full feeling of my ass and my pussy being penetrated brings me so close... He starts to moan and I can tell he's close too... One last slap on my ass and we cum together, panting and sweating.

He pulls out of me, gets himself together, and asks me to keep this a secret. All I can do is breathe out an "Uh huh..." before he leaves me, a heaving mess on the bed.

Who the hell does he think he is... Coming into my life so suddenly, giving me the best orgasm of my life, and then leaving just as quick as he came?

This isn't over... Maybe I'll stalk him next time...

Yea... this is only the beginning of our crazy relationship.

I won't let him get away.

2.

Three weeks.

Three weeks, since... that night.

The night everything changed.

I haven't seen him. Not once. Not around the neighborhood, not around my job... I've even gone as far as asking around for him. Which was hard, because I had no clue what his name was...

"You know, black guy, about my height, glasses..." Perfect teeth, perfect twisted smile, perfect cock...

Apparently I'm just bad at descriptions, because dammit he's been all over this neighborhood watching me for weeks. How can no one know who I'm talking about?!

Maybe I should give up... I've never been a patient woman... I'm surprised I've gone on for this long. But... I can't just forget about him... I mean, I SHOULD. Hell, what I should have done was fucking reported his ass. He fucking raped me... at least, that's what I keep telling myself...

You can't rape the willing... the part of my brain that I hate tells me. Well, screw you, other April, and your cheesy cliches. Nothing about what happened that night was right.

But, over the past few weeks, I decided I didn't care. So I may be crazy. There may be something totally wrong with the way I think... It doesn't matter. I know what I want.

I won't give up until he's mine.

~~~

There's a park, by my job, that I walk through every day to get to and from work. Mostly just a bunch of parents with their children, people walking their dogs, a bunch of gay, family shit.

I wish I could bring Claire Cat and Leon Cat here and walk them... Haha, that'd be something...

My thoughts are interrupted when a dog runs up to me and barks. I scream, because I'm a wuss, and then I realize it's a corgi. And GOD I love corgis. A woman runs up and grabs his leash, apparently he ran away from her to come see me. Aww...

"I'm so sorry! I had a hold on him... he just took off. He must really like you," the woman says to me.

"He could sense my love for corgis and now he wants to come live with me, isn't that right, Mr. Corgi?" I say, half to the woman and half to the dog I'm about to kidnap.

She just takes him away, and I'm back to being a sad lonely cat lady again.

I watch Mr. Corgi and his mommy go back to where they came from, and... HOLY GOD IT'S HIM. MR. CORGI AND MS. LADY ARE RIGHT THERE WITH HIM.

Immediately I'm excited. My search is over. Then, I'm pissed. Who the hell is she and what is she doing with my man and my corgi?! I hide behind a tree and watch them for a while. They're just talking, walking Mr. Corgi around, cleaning up his corgi business... They don't seem to be together... He's not looking at her the way he looked at me...

She walks off with my dog, and he stays at the park a little longer. What is he doing, sniffing out a new girl to rape...? WHY does that make me sad. Ugh, I really should have made a shrink appointment.

He sits down at a bench and pulls out a book. He's reading? How can he read at a time like this?! Like everything is normal?! Like he didn't just rape a girl a few weeks ago and not even send her flowers afterwards?!

I've been watching him for too long. Another minute and I'll be a stalker, just like him. Nope, I refuse to stoop to his level... I decide to take my ass over there.

...but first I put on sunglasses and a hat, because I'm not about to let him know it's me.

I walk across the grass, praying I don't step in any dog business, and sit on the opposite end of the bench he's sitting on. He's just sitting there, face in his book, paying me no mind. I'm offended! How can you just pretend you don't know me?! Well, maybe he doesn't know it's me... which is good, because that means he just thinks I'm a random lady, and obviously he doesn't want me, cuz he's so into his book... So he isn't looking for more rape victims!

I'm too excited about this. My heart is racing. My hands are sweating. I can't stop crossing and uncrossing my legs... I need to say something, but I don't know what... What do you say to a man who's done such... things... to you?

"Um, hey," I mumble in a deep voice. What the hell? What am I doing.

"Yes?" he glances at me, a confused look on his face.

"Um, whatcha readin'?" I ask, same deep, gruff voice. Oh my God I should just get up and leave.

He proceeds to tell me what he's reading, which I don't really give a shit about because I'm just staring at him through my glasses and watching his lips move as he talks and staring at his perfect teeth and God now I know how he felt when he said he couldn't wait anymore. I'm about ready to jump his ass right here.

"Um, that's nice." I'm using my regular voice now. He's gonna think I'm flippin' retarded.

"Did you need something?" he asks, seeming annoyed with me. I wonder how annoyed he'd be if I told him what I really needed from him.

"Uh... no... I guess not..." I stand to walk away, but he grabs my hand. I turn around, and he's staring at me. He stands up, reaches for my glasses, and takes them off. The shocked look on his face is priceless.

"Uh, hey..." I scratch my head and stare at his shoes, afraid to look him in the eyes.

"What... are you doing here?" He seems... scared, almost. Does he think I'm here to turn him in or something?

"You should know I take this way home all the time. You were stalking me, remember?"

"Yea, but, I mean, here, talking to me." Rude asshole! So I was just a fling to him?! Why am I so upset that the man who raped me doesn't like me. Gosh I have seriously gone crazy.

"I... I don't know, ok." I should tell him the truth, right...? Just tell him that I've been looking for him, that I can't stop thinking about him, that I touch myself every night, hoping he's standing in the hall just waiting for the right chance to take me...

"Look," I start, "I don't know who you think you are, but you can't just come into someone's life, make them cum like they've never cum before, and then leave forever. You can't just do that!"

"Ohhh, so that's what this is about..." He starts to laugh.

"Don't you laugh at me! I'm serious! Who are you?! I don't even know your name!"

"It's Ross, sweetness. And I like when you're serious..." He smirks at me, and God dammit why am I wet just standing here arguing with this ass.

"Take me home," I demand. I don't know what I'm saying, why I'm asking this... ungh... to take me home in his car. He could end up taking me anywhere. He could end up tying me up and throwing me in his trunk and dropping his car into a river somewhere. I hope he'd kill me more intimately than that... Ugh. Issues. I have them.

"Sure thing, babycakes." He winks at me, grabs his book from the bench, and takes my hand as he walks me to his car. What in the helllll am I doing. Nothing about anything makes sense anymore. I know that there's nothing right about this. Nothing right about what's happened between us, but gosh... I just... I feel so right...

We get to the park's parking lot, and he opens the passenger side door for me.

"Heh, I was sure you were gonna make me ride in the trunk," I say as I get in. WHY did I say that???

"Well, if that's what you're into..." he smirks at me again, and shuts the door. Ugh, he thinks he knows me so well!

He gets into the drivers seat, but doesn't start the car. He just looks at me, a wide grin spread across his face. Shit, what am I doing... he's TOTALLY got that rape face on.

"I, uh, should just walk, actually..." I try to open the door, but what, it's got a child safety lock on it? More like adult unsafety lock.

"Let me out!" I panic.

"You just have to pull at the lock. It's kind of old school. It doesn't just open with the handle."

I pull on the lock, and it releases. Oh.

But I don't get out... I've waited too long for this... I'm going to go through with it...

"Are you ok?" he asks. "You look like there's something on your mind."

I just have to tell him.

"Look, Ross, nothing you did that night was ok. You broke into my house. You... you raped me... And do you know how fucked up my thoughts are now? How insane I feel every day because I enjoyed it? All I ever think about is you... How you touched me, how you were rough, but gentle... How you threatened me, but took care not to hurt me... I felt more love from you that night than I've ever felt from anyone... You can't say that you're done with me after that. You can't be..."

He's silent for a moment. A moment that seems like a lifetime. God, what have I done... What am I saying what did I do what have I done?!

"April..." His voice interrupts my breakdown. "I... I'm sorry for what I did to you. You're right. It was wrong. Nothing about what I did was ok... I'm sorry I've made things so hard for you, but I... I just... I lost it. I wanted you, and I couldn't take the rejection. I didn't even want to give you the chance to turn me down... I just needed you. It was selfish, and I'm sorry."

Selfish...? Sorry?! I'm not looking for an apology for that! And to say he couldn't take the rejection...? Well what about me? What about the rejection I've felt for weeks!

"Don't you get it, Ross...? I'm not looking for a fucking apology. I don't want you to feel sorry for what you did to me that night. Because, frankly, that was the best night of my life! What I want from you, Ross, is you. If you think you can just disappear, just leave and be done with me after that... You're wrong. And you've never been more wrong in your life, let me tell you..."

Calm down, April... Think this out... If you go all crazy on him now, do you really think he'd take you home, or even follow you inside? Think this through...