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Decisions

123

Sandy was more than a little upset with herself as the early morning light brightened the hall. Her son had been due to arrive home from school late last night, and though she really wanted to be awake when he arrived, sleep had gotten the better of her. She thought about going to his room, to check on him, but then thought the better of that idea and retreating to her room, found her bathrobe and slowly made her way to the kitchen.

As she poured her first cup of eye-opener she thought about the past three lonely months and wondered how much, if any, she had crossed his mind. It had been a big adjustment for both of them when he had decided to enroll at State University, and though it was difficult for her, Sandy knew that it was the right thing for him if he was truly to pursue his life's dreams. But for her, it meant loneliness, and anguish, that her one and only was no longer there for her to take care of, to pamper, to fill her days with love and joy.

She sighed as she remembered their weekly telephone calls that she had made him promise to make, and he had faithfully done. Just the sound of his voice made her day, and as they got comfortable chatting, their conversations sometimes touched on things that, well, quite frankly sort of turned Sandy on. In addition to school, work, and his special projects, Sandy was a bit enamored by his personal life, specifically, his seemingly numerous girlfriends. Very rarely it seemed that he had the same one for longer than two weeks.

Being the overprotective Mom, Sandy queried him about who, and why, he seemed to go through them like some people do changes of shirts. He would just laugh and say, "None of them measure up to you Mom."

Somewhat taken aback by his revelation Sandy remembered eking out, "In what way?"

"In every way," he had replied immediately. "Smarts, looks, consideration of others... and well," here he had paused momentarily, "Being down right... sexy."

Not knowing how to answer that, Sandy simply chuckled and demurely said, "Well thanks... thanks a lot. It does your poor old mother good to hear something like that."

She was glad he wasn't there when he said that as even in denial, Sandy found herself blushing at such a compliment. When the conversation hinted at the sexual side of his relationships, though she felt a bit out of water, Sandy felt some unusual pulls and arousal as he would try and laugh off her inquiries, and conversation would, at least initially, become a bit stilted.

Then, a little over a month ago, he replied to her questioning with a remark that Sandy had mulled over, time again, each and every day since. "You know, Mom," he had said matter-of-factly, "What it boils down to, is that none of these girls could make love like a woman like you."

Sandy had been at a loss for words when he said that, and she found herself wondering where such a thought like that had come from. What did he know about her 'love' life, and what did he base such a remark like that on? She had given herself a bit of a sarcastic laugh as in reality her 'love' life was almost less than zero. If it weren't for that little silver bullet she kept in her bedside drawer, it would be zero.

She took pride in keeping herself in shape, not for anyone special, just as her own personal sense of what was right. As she thought about a response, he continued to surprise her. "Mom," he softly said, "I... ummm... have... a confession to make."

"A confession?"

"Yes. You know those light blue bikini panties, the ones with the matching lacey bra?"

Sandy took careful time in buying her lingerie, and again though it wasn't for anyone special, she just liked having things look right. "Yes?"

"I... uhhh... well, I took them... my last morning before leaving for school. They were on the bathroom floor after you had showered... and, well, I took them."

Hearing that, Sandy immediately felt some deeper tingling... some deep, hidden urges, fighting to make their way to the fore. She had simply thought she had misplaced them, and had gone out to buy another pair when she couldn't find it. Never had it crossed her mind that, something like this had happened. "Whatever for?" she remembered asking rather meekly.

"To have something... something intimate of yours... to have with me... to feel you... close to me. They were a bit... soiled... and I loved having your scent... and... taste."

Sandy was reeling at his words... and she felt the rapid moistness dampening her panties. "I... I... don't know what to say?"

"And Mom," his voice got very low... hushed... as he continued, "I use them... "

"Use them?" Sandy's breath was coming in rapid, shallow gasps.

"Yes," he replied so soft that Sandy pressed the phone hard against her ear so as not to miss anything he had to say. "All the time... especially... late at night... when I'm lying here in my lonely bed, fantasizing... about... you... having you... so soft against my... rod... "

Unconsciously Sandy had let her hand fall between her legs, and she was rubbing herself with an intense vigor as she took in his words. "Oh Tommy," she gasped, "I... I... don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything Mom," he whispered, "Just... just think about what I just... shared with you. Please."

And Sandy heard the click of the cell and knew the conversation, for the moment, was over. She recalled the conversation, several times, and felt not only the deep, primal urgings, but found herself, wondering... thinking about her son in ways that she felt incredibly conflicted about. But it didn't stop her from using her silver bullet that night, several times, and each time she found her thoughts and fantasies filled with images of her son. And it was very good.

Sandy went to the gym three times a week with her best friend Jenny. On Monday, having had two nights and a day to think about her conversation, Sandy felt like she needed to share, at least some of it with Jenny to get some perspective, and perhaps advice. Taking their customary energy drink after working out, Sandy shared some of the night's conversation. Sandy was somewhat surprised by the rather beaming look on Jenny's face when she concluded by saying, "So, I'm kind of in a quandary as to how to respond, or what exactly to say when he calls again this week."

"It's natural," Jenny replied, "Natural that is for a son to have, and feel, sexual urgings toward his Mom. The real question revolves around you... what you feel, and think... about Tommy." Here she paused to lock her eyes with Sandy's and continued, "Do you want him... in that way... are your feelings for him... towards him... more than just a Mother's love?"

Sandy felt her cheeks burning as she hadn't shared her rendezvous with the silver bullet and her fantasies with Jenny. "You don't have to answer that if you don't want," Jenny said, "But if I'm as good at reading people's thoughts as I think I am, I already know your answer."

Was it really that evident? Was her want and desire to have her son... to let him have her, so, plain and evident as Jenny seemed to make it? As they got up to make their way to the shower Jenny leaned over and quietly said, "If you should decide the answer is no, call me up when Tommy gets home and let me know. He can fill my garden... and any other hole he wants to fill whenever he wants." Jenny winked at Sandy and hooking her arm dragged her off towards the locker room.

Sandy went to bed that night with varied thoughts swirling in her mind. The fact that her best friend wanted her son was a stunning revelation in itself, but her remarks, about 'more than just a Mother's love' reverberated in her soul. She had stripped naked, and reached for her silver bullet. As she brought herself to several orgasms she wondered what it would be like... him, naked, lying with her... the feel of his manhood penetrating deep inside her... the taste of him in her mouth, the thought that he might want to... tantalize her garden with his tongue.

Her orgasmic forays brought sleep quickly but she was jarred awake by the ringing of her phone. She glanced at the clock, 1 a.m., who could be calling at this hour? "Hello?"

There were several seconds of silence, and Sandy was about to repeat herself when Tommy's voice split the night. "Did I... wake you?"

"Ummm... no Baby, no you didn't," Sandy lied. "I was lying here reading a book. What's wrong, why are you calling so late?"

Again there was several seconds of silence before he answered. "Well... I was wondering... " he stammered.

"Wondering?" Sandy echoed.

"Yes," he replied, "Wondering if you had given any thought to what I shared with you the other night. And wondering if it made any difference as to whether I should make other plans for next week instead of coming home."

"Oh Tommy," Sandy blurted out, "Of course it doesn't change the fact that I want you to come home next week. I miss you Baby, and I want you here, at home, with me."

"What... what about... the other?"

It was Sandy's turn to take several seconds to reply. "I... I... don't really know Tommy. It was such a... surprise... what you said... what you shared. Maybe, when you get home we can... talk about it. It's so... so very... complicated. You know?"

"Yeah... I guess so," he softly replied. "But Mom," here he paused, "Do you think... maybe... that... well... there's any chance you might... feel some of the things... some of the way... I feel for you?"

"Oh Tommy," Sandy gushed, "You know I love you... and want nothing but the best for you. It's just, well, complicated... My being your Mother and all. I mean, it's not something I really ever... considered... before... if you know what I mean."

"Sure Mom, I understand."

There was a long pause, lasting minutes instead of seconds. "Mom," whispered Tommy, "I... I'm using them."

"Using them," Sandy asked confusedly.

"Your panties... Your soft, light blue panties... I'm using them... right now... I'm stroking my throbbing cock, thinking about what it might feel like, buried deep inside you... and oh, God Mom... it feels so good."

"Oh Tommy," Sandy said breathlessly. She ran her hands over her taut nipples, hefted her orbs in need, and let her hand roam to her now hot and very wet garden.

"I can see you Mom," Tommy said in halted words, "Naked, in the shower... damn Mom you're so fine. Curvaceous, sexy, such great breasts... and I love the landing strip above your lips... so damn sexy."

Sandy was riveted. She scrambled to find her silver bullet and began to work it up and down her lips, alternately probing herself as he talked. "Tell me more, Baby," she quietly spoke into the phone.

"Do you know how many times I wanted to walk into that shower with you? Or come into your room at night?"

"No Baby," Sandy purred.

"To feel you, your naked body next to me... to taste your succulent breasts... to burrow my head between those long, sexy legs... feasting on your nectar."

"Oh Tommy, Tommy," she gushed.

"I'm... I'm... cuming Mom... Oh God I can't hold it back... "

"I'm cuming too Baby," Sandy shrieked into the phone, "Mommy's cuming too... "

Her world exploded into a cataclysm of color and warmth. She rocked and thrashed about the bed reveling in wave after orgasmic wave of pure, unadulterated lust and love for her... son.

"Yes Mommy, yes... " shouted Tommy through the phone, "Fuck your Baby, Mommy... fuck me good... "

The seconds turned into minutes as Sandy tried to bring a calming to her quaking soul. As she began to come down from her orgasmic bliss the enormity of what just took place swept over her. She had masturbated, with her son... over the phone. And he too had done so... and she was simply... amazed. Oh there had been times, with other lovers where things were said, and things got a bit hot and heavy. But never anything like this. So alive... so vibrant... so intense... it was... wonderful. And for the moment, she felt no guilt... just wondering if it had been somewhat as good for him.

She didn't have to wait long to find out. "Oh Mom," a breathless Tommy spoke, "That was... incredible. I can't believe how much I shot over your panties... I've never come like that. My only regret is that I wasn't shooting it inside you... it seems such a waste."

Sandy smiled at the thought and wondered how his hot, thick spunk would feel deep inside her chamber. That's when she knew, no matter what... when Tommy got home... she would... have him... take him... fuck him as long and as often as he would like... and let the chips fall where they may.

"Tommy... it was... quite incredible for me too."

"Would you like me to call again?" he asked.

"MMMM... Baby... only if you feel the need... and want," purred Sandy... silently hoping he would, every night.

"Well, its finals week, so it might be... late, after studies."

"Whatever... whenever Baby... "

"Okay then," he said with a bit of regret in his voice, "I guess I should let you go so you can get some sleep... "

"Sleep well Baby," Sandy replied with more than familial affection in her voice, and let him click off into the night.

Sandy basked in the afterglow of her frenzied activity then soon drifted off to sleep. When the morning came, she felt the initial doubts come creeping in, and before long was hopelessly entwined with feelings of guilt and remorse. Though she couldn't deny her pleasure, the fact that she had engaged in things sexual, with her son, hung heavily on her mind.

As the day wore into evening, Sandy's fears and misgivings multiplied. The phone call she had so deliriously wanted last night was now one she hoped wouldn't come. She had decided that what she had done was wrong, that as the adult she should have taken control, exerted a firmer hand and not let herself and her misguided son fall into such tempestuous waters. Though she dreaded the call, she felt, in her mind, that it was the right thing to do. To tell him it had been her fault, that she had been weak and given into her longings and needs that she had so long ignored. She would tell him to come home, that they would talk things over and set themselves on a straight and narrow path that would include not only rebuilding their relationship but help Tommy make new ones, with girls his own age that were more... appropriate for him. The problem was... what she held in her mind conflicted with what she felt in her heart.

The angst and emotions of the day must have got the better of her for when the phone rang at just after 1 a.m. she was asleep on the couch in the front room. Trying to gather her wits about her before answering the phone, Sandy took one long, last, deep breath and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hey Mom," Tommy said with youthful enthusiasm, "How are things? Did I wake you?"

"No... no, you didn't," Sandy at first lied, then decided to correct herself. "I mean yes, yes you did, I was asleep in the other room that's why it took a few rings before I answered."

"Oh," Tommy responded with concern now entering his voice, "Then... ummm... maybe I should let you go, so you can go back to sleep... and uhhh... we can... ummm... chat another night?"

"No... no Tommy," Sandy hastily replied, "I want to... ummm... talk, we uhhh... need to talk."

Sandy felt like an incredible weight had just sunk deep inside her. She was confronting her deepest fears, and suddenly felt as though she had neither the strength or will to go forward.

"Talk?" queried Tommy, "Okay... ummm... what about?"

Sandy let several seconds go by before she answered. "About us Tommy, about what I let happen last night and why we can't let this come between us."

"Mom?"

"No Tommy, let me finish. I can't deny what happened last night, nor to be truthful do I want to. It was wonderful, incredible, but... it was... wrong. I'm your Mother Tommy, not just your latest college conquest, needing her over active hormones taken care of. I love you Baby, more than you'll ever know but what we did, what I let happened, shouldn't have... "

"Why not Mom? If you liked it, if you enjoyed it as much as you say you did, and as much as I know I did... what's wrong with that? I love you too Mom... more than I can say... and, if you'll let me, in a way I can only say is the truest way I want you to know my love. I don't want a college conquest... I don't need a college girl... I need... and want... you Mom."

"Oh Tommy," Sandy started to reply.

"Mom, I have been away for almost three months now, and the main reason I left wasn't because of the scholarship or education, it was to let me sort out what I feel for you, and have felt for a very long time. If anything, these past three months have convinced me that if anything, losing you... or going on with my life, without you in it, is not what I want. And, I am going to do everything in my power to convince you, to show you that my love, my desires, my want and need for you is not only genuine, but is a love that can and will meet the test of time."

"What happened last night... what we shared last night could have only happened if you have some of the same feelings I have. Maybe you didn't realize it at first, that's why I tried to get you to think about things the other night so that when and if something happened... you would at least have been in touch with some of those emotions... some of those feelings... and... well... we could take things from there."

Sandy was amazed at his grasp of the situation, and how what he not only had gone through but how he was so mature and forth right in his thinking. "Tommy," Sandy tried one last time, "It's not that I didn't enjoy it, or that I haven't reveled in the feelings and longings you have ignited in me... it's just, well as your Mom... I can't help but feel that it's not right, a relationship between us would be... if not ethically, certainly morally wrong. Can you understand that?"

"Mom, we are two mature, grown adults... and what we want... who we want... is and shouldn't be anybody's business but our own. I don't tell others how to live, or who they should live with... but as for me and my life, I know what I want... I know who I want... and that is to spend my days living with, and loving, you. Don't say another word. Just tell me you'll think about it. I won't call again until I come home next week. That should give you plenty of time to sort things over, think things through, and then... we can take it from there. Okay?"

"Oh Tommy," Sandy stammered, "I really don't know what to say now, I feel so confused. But yes, for now, I promise you I will think things over, and then when you come home, we can sit down... talk them through... and come to some kind of... resolution."

"I can't ask for anything more than that Mom... Take care."

And with that said, Tommy disconnected his phone.

Sandy had a long, fitful night of precious little sleep. Her dreams alternated between hot, lustful passions and eternal condemnations from on high for her foray with her son. When she finally decided to call it a night she dreaded what lay before her. It was Wednesday and her day to pick up Jenny and go to the gym. She could call and try and beg out of it, but she knew that wouldn't stop Jenny from either calling or coming over to find out the 'latest.' So begrudgingly she put herself together and headed out the door.

Jenny had not even closed the car door before she burst "Well?"

Feigning ignorance, Sandy echoed her friend, "Well, what?"

"Don't play that game with me Sandy," Jenny scolded her, "You know quite well what. What's the latest on the home front?"

Sandy sighed and then responded, "We've chatted... and agreed to sit down and talk things over next week when Tommy gets home from school."

"Chat? Talk?" an exasperated Jenny replied, "That boy wants to be over you like an elementary kid on a new monkey bar on the playground. What's there to talk about, either you're in... or you're out."

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