Amy, Her Vibrator & Jaegermeister

The following story is true to the spirit of the evening, if not the precise sequence of events. But boy, was it fun!

Amy loved her sex toys. Early on in our relationship, she was worried I might get freaked out by how much she masturbated. Boy, was she in for a surprise!

Strangely enough, Amy was otherwise quite demure, especially in public. She loved sex. A lot. And her arsenal of orgasm-related technology could arm an erotic SWAT team. But talking about sex outside of just the two of us made her blush & giggle. She bought all her toys through catalogs yes children, long before there was the internet, there were these paper things called catalogs because she couldn't look someone in the eye and say "How much is the that butt-plug?" or "Do those nipple clamps come in red?" I once jokingly called her "Dr. Jekyl & Ms. Hide-the-silicone-cock".

One weekend, we'd returned from going out dancing and I'd gotten a little drunker than I'd thought. By the time we got home, I was in sloppy shape. Amy warned me about that "last shot" of Jaegermeister. Still, I thought I was in luck because she was in sloppy shape as well. As I was soon to find out, Amy expected orgasms and was not going to take "too drunk to fuck" as an excuse.

We were making out big-time in the cab ride home and by the time we pulled up to her apartment, my hand was up her skirt and I'd removed her panties so I could finger her. I could see the cabbie grinning in the rearview. Being drunk, it seemed the thing to do to pull off her panties, drop them on the floor, and "forget" them in the cab when we pulled up to her building. Amy played along with a smile, winking at the cabbie as she exited. Considering her normal shyness, I figured I was in for a treat. Like they say, "Be careful what you wish for."

We stumbled into her apartment and began to paw at each other as we made our way up to her bedroom. She had a large futon on the floor and the moonlight streamed down onto it illuminating the room with a cool, blue glow.

Amy was down to her bra and nothing else before I'd even gotten my shirt unbuttoned. She stood around 5'5", shoulder length brown hair and glasses, generous curves with a soft, womanly belly. Delicious!

But Amy thought her boobs were the sexiest thing about her. They were large and full with big nipples. Amy really got off on somewhat rough nipple play. Often times I'd torment her by twisting and pulling on her nipples and telling her she wasn't allowed to touch herself. I'd kneel in front of her with her legs spread, pulling on her nipples, kneading them, squeezing them until she moaned. This got her VERY hot and bothered and I would watch that for what seemed like hours before pushing her down onto her back and kissing my way up her thigh.

I watched her hips gyrate as her reached around back to unhook her bra, her long, dark brown hair spilling around her shoulders. Amy licked her teeth lasciviously as her bra fell to the floor. Her thighs rubbed together as she cupped her liberated breasts in her hands and gave them a squeeze.

Amy loved anticipation. After getting worked up and getting naked, she liked to spend a few minutes alone before launching into the contact part of the sex. She would knead her breasts, pull her nipples, and feel her pussy start to get slick while she watched me fist my cock to attention. She liked being naked in the same room as her lover, neither touching the other, both growing more and more aroused.

Unfortunately, only one of us was naked. I was standing there gawking, not getting undressed. On top of that, I stumbled on the edge of the futon and fell onto my back. I giggled to myself about that last shot doing me in.

Then the bedspins hit.

I don't drink much and even less now than I did then. But back when I was drinking, I pulled out all the stops. Normally, this wasn't a problem when it came to sex. I usually knew to cut myself off when I was hoping to get laid later that night. But I discovered that night that I'm REALLY turned on by being out with a woman who is both drinking and whispering in my ear how much she's looking forward to my hard cock when we get home. DAMN, but that got me in a good mood.

All night Amy had been making obscene gestures with pool cues, dancing dirty with other guys to get me hot (it worked!), and grabbing my crotch in the darker corners of the bar. This was not the girlfriend I was used to. But I figured I could get used to it. When she kissed me, I could taste the alcohol on her breath as her tongue slipped into my mouth. It was glorious.

And glory evidently turned me into a moron. "Another shot of Jaegermeister, please." All of a sudden I was a callow college student again. Amy even said "Don't get so drunk that you can't get it up later" with a sly smile. I winked and tossed back the shot. And ordered another.

Which is why some time later that night I found myself lying on my back on Amy's futon, fully dressed, eyes closed, the room spinning like a ride at Disneyland. Some people hate the spins. Some people get ill from them. Back then, I loved the ride.

My mind began to wander. I thought of my college professor in my "Celtic Myth and Ritual" class. How the ancient Celts viewed hollow places like caves and hollow trees as sacred because within them, one is surrounded by the goddess. How fog and mist were associated with magic and illusion and how drunkenness was sometimes viewed as being in the embrace of the goddess.

Mmm, pagan goddess. Earth Mother. Soft, full thighs. Healthy breasts.

This is the part of the story where the non-drunk part of my brain FINALLY grabbed a shovel, whacked me upside the head and shouted "STOP DREAMING ABOUT GODDESSES AN OPEN YOUR DAMNED EYES!"

I did so and was treated to one of the most arousing sights ever, even though it was a bit upside down. Amy was masturbating again. Evidently, she decided to go on without me. Not that I could blame her.

Amy had chosen one of her favorite positions. She'd taken her magic wand vibrator and placed it on top of one of the overstuffed pillows to the other side of the futon. She then knelt on either side of the pillow until her clit came to rest on the buzzing knob. This way, she could grind her hips down onto it. Her large, heavy breasts were scooped up in both hands, her big, demanding nipples sucked up into her mouth at the same time. I knew exactly what she was doing because she taught me exactly how she liked it. She was sucking HARD on them, using her tongue to mash them up against the roof of her mouth, even chewing on them a bit. She told me that she flet like she had a direct line from her nipples to her clit and that she liked a ROUGH sucking.

Amy rolled her hips from side to side, the vibrator buzzing contentedly as she fed herself her tits, whimpering slightly. Her back was to the window and the blue moonlight lit her magically. Goddess indeed.

Struggling to my feet, I began unzipping my pants. One of the things Amy REALLY enjoyed was masturbating the way she was and then sucking me off after her first (but not last) orgasm. But before I could take a step closer, her nipples popped wetly out of her mouth and she said teasingly "Nah-ah, sucker. Don't think you can just unzip and get in on this. Strip." And back to her sucking on those big, wet nipples. This time, she kept her eyes open and watched me as she sucked.

Oh LORD, did I struggle to get my clothes off! I tripped and fell once again, but Amy just smiled and bit down on her nips as she groaned through her second cum of the evening. Finally, I was naked, but once again she told me to back off.

"Don't you go getting sloppy drunk and then come waving that noodle at me. You want some, you bring me something hard. I want it hard, boy!" She was licking her lips and mauling and pulling on her tits, trying to drive me mad. It was succeeding. She was in full-on sex mode, her inner slut blossoming like your lover's "kitty" once you've started lick and sucking on her labia and flick your tongue wetly across her clit. She was looking me in the eye, grinding herself down on the vibrator as she switched off, sucking one tit, then the other, leaving each nipple glistening with saliva. Oh baby, you want hard, I'll show you hard, I'll give you a hard...

And then it happened. When I reached for my cock, it was limp. I was naked, in the bedroom with my drunken girlfriend who, also being naked, was working her pussy into a frothy third orgasm while trying to inhale her own generous tits, all the while demanding a hard-on.

And I was limp. My cock looked up at me with (as Robin Williams put it) it's "one good eye" and I could almost hear it say "*HIC* Ah liiiiiiike Jaeger-*HIC*-meister". It was a nightmare come true!

After her third and loudest orgasm, Amy slid off the pillows, crawled around on all fours until her ass was facing me, and started to rub her pussy with one hand. She was very wet by this time and two finger disappeared up into her slit easily.

I was standing on the edge of the futon, flogging my cock frantically, trying to get it hard as Amy egged me on.

"Oh baby, my pussy's SO wet. If you don't get it up soon, I may just have to take out the dildo and do without you." This was not helping. But she was loving having me at her mercy. There was nothing I could do except stroke and think about the taste of her pussy, the feel of her thighs wrapped around my ears...

"Oh baby, here I go again," as she began to finger fuck herself. She grunted her way through her fourth cum and just wiggled her ass at me. "Don't come round here without a full hard-on, you drunk bastard," she panted. "You touch me with a noodle and you don't get any for a week." Amy spread her knees wider, lifted her ass a bit more, reached down and spread her labia with her fingers. Her nectar glistened on her fingers and her pussy. "Come on, Captain one-last-shot. You know you want it. Look at how wet it is. I need a hard cock. Damn, where's that dildo? I KNOW that's stiff."

It seemed the more she taunted me, the hotter she got. Amy loved cumming, but she wasn't much of a dirty talker. But after our first night of serious drinking together, she was this foul mouthed vixen letting me know how wet her cunt was and how much she needed a hard cock inside it and was my drunk ass ready to fuck yet. She told me how empty her pussy felt, how she could feel her juice running down her inner thighs. Taunting me was really getting her off.

Amy finally did reach for her purple gel dildo and began fucking herself. He pussy made this sloppy wet sound as she pumped the dildo in and out of herself with one hand reaching around behind her Oh MAN, I love that sound. Her saliva-slick tits hung down towards the futon jiggling as she worked the dildo in and out and in and out and in....

I was dying. It was every guy's hell. A gorgeous, intoxicated, post-orgasmic woman was waving her ass at me, impaling herself with a dildo, practically begging me to mount her, and all I had to do was get my Jaegermeister-soaked cock hard. Which it wasn't. But I could feel my dick stiffening. Like a trooper, he was struggling to attention. "I'm with ya, boss...just...gimme a second...."

HAH! As long as I'm standing, my cock stands with me! A black-licorice haze still clouding my vision, I had a fistful of erection and I was on a MISSION! I clambered up onto the the futon, knelt down behind her and before she knew what happened, I'd yanked the dildo out of her and sunk my cock into her from behind, balls deep. She was so wet and aroused and tight and hot, I growled as I entered her. Amy sunk her head down to the futon and groaned.

I was still drunk, but now I was a worked up drunk and I grabbed her hips and started pumping. Amy wailed as I thrust again and again. "Oh yeah, fucker! That's it, fuck me! Ride me, you sonofabitch! Shove that cock up inside me! Fuck that pussy!" I leaned over her back, reached around each side, and grabbed a hold of those big tits that were hanging down to the futon. I pinched her nips as hard as I could and twisted. Amy let out a will that might have alerted the neighbors concern until she finished it was an guttural "YESSSSSSSS!"

I could hear the wet slap of our thighs. I could smell the musk of her pussy. Between grunting and groaning, Amy would goad me on to further efforts to "hump her silly!" As long as it took me to fight through the Jaegermeister fog, I found that my cock had gone on autopilot and had NO intention of giving up anytime soon.

I pulled out of Amy, roughly threw her onto her back, and sunk myself deep once more. Amy had stopped swearing and was letting out a continuous moan, punctuated every time I thrust. Her legs were wrapped around my hips and her eyes were rolling up into her skull.

The slickness of her sex had wet me from belly to thighs and the sweat dripped off my brow onto her breasts. I paused long enough to lick it up and grab a nipple between my teeth before I continued my demented pistoning. Amy wrapped her arms around my neck and continued her incoherent moaning, managing the odd "YESSS!" from time to time.

This went on for I have no idea how long. Watching herself jill-off like that had left my libido completely unhunged. Combined with our both being absolutely pickled, and we were on autopilot. We were just a grunting, throbbing, writhing, tangle. And it was ecstatic.

Suddenly, the sound of my balls against her backside became even faster. There was a frantic, urgent slap of flesh until I came. It felt like someone had put a shotgun to the base of my spine and let loose with both barrels. It was so intense that rather than some triumphant, leonine roar, I remember making a sound Amy would, in time, remember as "the sound of a tired sea-bird being strangled".

Okay, not a porn-star moment. But that was a damned fine orgasm!

As we nursed our hangovers the next day, Amy told me that she didn't come while I was fucking her, she'd met her orgasm quota on her own. But she LOVED penetration and come or not, she agreed that that was some DAMNED fine humping we'd engaged in. She was also amazed at how she started swearing like a sailor with tourettes syndrome, but that she liked it and hoped it didn't freak me out (she was always worried about that). I told her it really did it for me. In future, I didn't need to get her (as) drunk as that to get her foul little mouth running. But it didn't hurt either.