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Reunions are Irresistible

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There's just something so special about family reunions. Part of the reason would have to be the fact that most members of the extended family have only seen each other once or twice every two years. Now, everyone can gather together in one place at the same time. They are just so pleased to come together and catch up on current events. Some are just happy mainly because they are waiting for their cousins to pay them back those hundreds and hundreds of dollars which probably weren't well spent in the first place.

Kevin didn't always enjoy participating in these sorts of personal congregations, but once he graduated from high school, he wanted to see more of his original acquaintances. Now, at twenty-one years of age, he couldn't wait to see his cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents. Family is always the exceptional group of companions because of certain relations that one would never expect from a casual friend. And that was the main reason why he wanted to visit his uncle Francis, who currently resided in Orange County, California. The city of Rancho Santa Margarita had been Francis's home for quite some time now. He never married, but sharing his home, one of the most expensive in the city, with someone he loved most likely didn't matter to him. He found phenomenal success as the principal conductor for the Pacific Symphony Orchestra. Kevin's fuel for admiring classical music burned much brighter just from Francis's occupation alone. Even if Kevin still had rock music percolating in his heart and soul, Beethoven and Mendelssohn would kick in at the right moments.

Even without the classical music, the young man always admired his uncle, so much so that he couldn't stop thinking about him every once in a while. As a matter of fact, in random moments in the evening for the past two years, he would imagine Francis lying in bed with him with his arms wrapped all around him.

The family reunion started on a Saturday afternoon. Uncle Francis held it at his own home, a spacious and lavish two-story house, which was located near the hillsides of the Santa Ana Mountains. It was a good thing that the backyard would be where the gathering was held, since everyone would have a good view of the barren but gorgeous mountainside. When Kevin showed up alone with casual attire, which consisted of blue jeans and black t-shirt, he hung his jacket on the coat rack. He found his parents greeting him at the front door and showed their contentment because of his presence.

Kevin asked, "Where's Uncle Francis?"

His father replied, "He went to the store to get some more liquid refreshments. He'll be back. You really want to see him again, don't you?"

"Why not? I haven't really seen him in a long while."

"Don't worry. He'll be here. In the meantime, there are some other people who can't wait to see you again. Your grandparents are in the backyard."

Kevin groaned. "I don't even know what to say to them anymore. They don't even speak English half of the time."

"Hey, speaking Welsh is a fundamental right. You could have at least learned the language while you're still in high school."

"I don't think California is willing to have a school that teaches basic Welsh, anyway."

His father pointed at the kitchen. "Just go ahead and say hello to them. Remember, they're family. Show respect, even if you can't understand what they're saying."

Kevin nodded with mild reluctance. "All right, I will."

He took one look at the two-story house before meeting his grandparents. Francis's home appeared so large and luxurious, a traditional representation of the American Dream. Brown leather furniture and a grand piano had become stunning items in the living room. Just the mere appearance of a well-kept house ignited another glimmer of irresistibility toward Francis's positive outlook.

Kevin found his grandparents sitting at the patio table, discussing something with one of their grandsons, Seth. The grandparents had that typical conservative look. Their old-fashioned clothing, wrinkled skin, white hair, and warm gracious smiles would make anyone proud of having such lifelong family relations.

As soon as he spotted his cousin opening and closing the patio door, Seth stood up with a smile on his face. "Hey, Kevin! Good to see ya again."

The two hugged each other before Kevin whispered in Seth's ear, "Help me out here."

Seth asked, "What's the problem?"

"I need you to tell me what grandma and grandpa are saying."

Seth almost laughed. "You still don't know how to speak our native tongue?"

"Okay, first of all, both of us were born and raised in California, so our native tongue is nothing but ENGLISH. And second, you know I never have the time to learn such a thing."

"All right, I'll help."

"Good."

Kevin gave his grandparents a big smile. "Hello, how have you been doing?"

Seth translated from English to Welsh, from Welsh to English. The exchanges had grown ordinary whenever Kevin had the chance to find a translator in order to have a normal conversation with his grandparents.

But all of a sudden, in the middle of a hot topic, Seth gasped when he saw someone who arrived in the kitchen.

Kevin looked to see if Uncle Francis had returned from the store. "Who are you looking at?"

Seth quickly crawled under the patio table and whispered, "It's Aunt Lorraine. I don't want her to see me."

"You DID pay her back the nine hundred, didn't you?"

"Well, what do you think?"

"It's been two years, man!"

Seth hid behind his grandmother. "Blame the economy. I'm outta here."

He dashed for the back door that led to the dining room, leaving Kevin with abrupt silence between him and his grandparents. He forced a smile in the midst of an awkward situation.

His grandfather asked him a question in Welsh. Kevin hesitated and said, "...Ydw?"

Basically "yes" in English.

His grandparents gasped simultaneously and expressed sudden shock.

Kevin whispered to himself, "Ah, crap."

He stood up from his seat and didn't even bother to try and translate his next phrase: "I need something to drink."

Once he went into the kitchen, he greeted his Aunt Lorraine. No one would ever forget her because of her fancy hairstyle and long painted fingernails. She asked if he had seen Seth wandering around this house.

Kevin thought of a lie pretty quickly. "I think I saw him at the ATM making a withdrawal."

Aunt Lorraine smiled. "So it ends tonight. I feel so relieved right now."

She had become one of the cooks for tonight's dinner. With a large spoon, she kept stirring what looked like a bowl of mashed potatoes, but Kevin couldn't be too sure. It looked way too thick and brown.

"Would you like a taste?"

Kevin took a few steps back. "I'd rather not. I don't want to spoil my appetite just yet."

Aunt Lorraine had never been a good cook in the first place. Her adding pieces of garlic into her latest concoction would be considered empirical evidence. "You'll love it. It's one of my specialties."

"Uh, please tell me it's mashed potatoes."

"Don't be silly. It's for the peach cobbler that I'll be producing in the next few minutes."

"Why are you using garlic instead?"

"Peaches are overrated. Garlic gives that real exotic flavor."

"I think I'll pass."

Lorraine chuckled as she added more bits of garlic into her bowl. "You'll be sorry."

At that exact moment, Kevin's father walked in with his younger brother, another recognizable face.

Kevin gave his uncle Jeremy a big hug. "Man, it's real good to see you again."

"You haven't changed a bit, and that's a good thing."

Jeremy had always been as charismatic as Francis. Working as a librarian at an Anaheim library, he lived a good life despite his divorce from several years ago. Kevin only hoped he would bounce back from such a bitter separation from his wife and son. Jeremy looked so handsome with his glasses and long brown hair that reached his shoulders, any sort of woman would be happy to be his next wife.

"So how have ya been?"

The forty-three-year-old librarian took a good look at Lorraine's bowl of strange ingredients. "I'll be fine as long as I don't eat anything from that."

Lorraine used sarcasm to make a point. "As if you ever knew how to make the perfect peach cobbler."

"At least I use actual peaches to get my point across."

Kevin chuckled. "So how are ya doin' these days?"

He, his father, and Uncle Jeremy took seats at the round-shaped kitchen table. Jeremy breathed a big sigh of gratification before saying, "I've never felt better in my entire life. I still miss my son, though. I wish he was here with everyone else."

Kevin murmured, "I'm wondering if you got over your separation from Tara. Because if you are, then it's good to look on the bright side."

"I've overlooked this melancholy for a long time now. I've already found someone else to share my life with."

"Who is she?"

"His name is Lonnie."

Kevin paused for a moment to take in what the librarian just said to him. "I can't tell whether you're joking or not."

"I know how to show you that I'm telling the truth. Lonnie is in the living room talking to your uncle Francis."

"Wait, Francis is already here?"

"That's right."

"Excuse me for a moment."

Kevin walked a little faster to fulfill his anticipated reunion. As soon as he reached the living room, he found his uncle introducing himself to someone who sat on the couch. Francis was his usual self, his dark brown hair and black polo shirt giving off such an arousing impression.

Kevin didn't even concentrate on the stranger when he came up and said, "Hey, Uncle Francis, how's it goin'?"

Francis gave him a hug. Kevin embraced him even tighter.

"So, Kevin, how's life in Cal State Fullerton?"

"I've been doing better than before. How's the orchestra?"

"Everyone's been performing splendidly. Next week, we'll be performing Mahler's Second Symphony."

"It sounds like it's gonna be a box-office sellout."

"Here's hoping. Anyway, have you met Lonnie yet?"

Kevin finally noticed the young and skinny Native-American man standing up from the couch. They shook hands while Kevin examined his outside features. Lonnie looked to be a couple of years younger than him. He had long black hair and wore a black shirt and white pants. On top of that, he looked particularly striking. No wonder Jeremy had fallen for such a person like him.

Kevin cleared his throat. "So how long have you, uh...been with Jeremy?"

Lonnie replied, "Ever since October."

"Six months, huh? Is he that good?"

"What?"

Kevin tried frantically to say something else. "I mean, you know, I'm sure Jeremy's a good person for something other than what happens behind closed doors. I mean, he's really smart. He loves books. Lots and LOTS of books. But Fifty Shades of Grey is not one of them. I can assure you that. But I guess you already know that. I mean, you talked about it with him. I'm not assuming that you act it out or something. I mean...you know he was married to a woman once, right?"

"Of course, I do."

Francis intercepted at the right time. "Lonnie, why don't I introduce you to everyone else in the family?"

Lonnie gave a little grin. "I'd like that."

Francis led him straight to the kitchen, but not before giving Kevin a curious glance. Kevin gave himself a slow deep breath. He just couldn't believe the abrupt transition that Uncle Jeremy underwent. His divorce probably had something to do with it. Regardless, Kevin still felt satisfied that Jeremy had found someone else, no matter if it was a man or a woman.

Half an hour later, everyone had shown up to this reunion. Most of them gathered in the backyard while the steady sounds of classic rock became suitable for background delight.

Something interesting happens when there's always a family reunion. A pattern forms in the shape of some exclusive and sometimes well-rounded personalities. In one corner, a couple of twenty-something cousins competed against their two uncles with a game of poker, all betting which ones will get to keep their video game consoles and stereo systems. In another corner, some of the kids showed off their smartphones and the new apps they had recently paid and downloaded. They didn't even want to say hello to their own grandparents. And then there was Seth, who kept hiding behind different ferns and bushes whenever he spotted Aunt Lorraine in the distance. Maybe he shouldn't have borrowed so much money in the first place.

Some of the gossip that formed in scattered sessions dealt with Jeremy and his Native-American boyfriend. While having a little chat with his older cousin Brad, he overheard his two female cousins lamenting the loss of a potential hookup. Lonnie's good looks and appealing exterior became a primary topic between Monica and Janice, both of whom sat at the patio table with nothing but frowns on their faces.

"Why do all the hot guys prefer to date other men? What's wrong with being attracted to perfectly fine women like us?"

"You think that's bad? Most of the guys I know who love to sleep with other guys always love to watch sports, know how to fix cars, and can cook an excellent Porterhouse steak. We're stuck with straight guys who love to use facial cream, always watch freakin' nature documentaries, and never know how to fix a kitchen sink."

"We've sunk to a new low."

"God have mercy on our souls. So how's the baby?"

"Oh, she's doing fine. Preston's being a real good father to her."

"Oh, that's good."

Kevin just had to shake his head with amusement. He had heard this sort of discussion before with other young women. He didn't want to have anything to do with it because it just seemed like such suitable entertainment by itself. As a brown-haired pretty boy, Kevin himself wasn't very muscular, but young women his age always found him to be cute, adorable, and most of all, nice. Maybe that's why they always ran off with straight-up douchebags instead of him.

When Brad left to meet up with Aunt Lorraine, Kevin had been forced into a hasty banter with his blond-haired brother-in-law Donald.

He whispered in Kevin's ear, "I need your help, man. Please!"

Kevin asked, "What's the problem?"

"I'm in a major crisis here. I don't know any of these people's names!"

"Didn't you memorize that email I sent you?"

"I didn't want to."

"Well, at least you're being honest."

Donald looked so desperate. "Please, help me! Everyone already recognizes me. Even your grandparents know my name...and they were speaking ENGLISH at the time! I'm trying real hard not to look like a complete idiot."

Kevin sighed. "Oh, all right. But stay close to me. You have to remember not only their names, but what they look like."

"Whatever you say. You're the boss in this situation."

For the next few minutes, Kevin had to show his brother-in-law every member of the extended family without having to repeat introductions. As they moved on from room to room, Kevin would whisper the correct names to Donald, who faked a smile and greeted himself to what must have been complete strangers. Kevin pointed his finger to whoever he could come across.

"The young boy who's tuned out with his iPod is Edward. The spoiled princess over there is Victoria. The man who doesn't give a crap about what people say about his smoking cigars is named Keith. And the young man hiding behind the barbecue grill is Seth. He'll tell you why he's avoiding communication altogether by the end of the night."

The two of them did hit a snag when they moved on to the front porch and bumped into another one of Kevin's cousins, Carolyn. Donald didn't need to remember her name, since he always knew who she was because of her weight gain. Unfortunately, he opened his big mouth and described how he could recognize such a large woman right in front of her.

And she didn't let him forget her wrath. "Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm fat? Oh, so this is how it is, huh? You remember me being a big fat slob of a woman!"

Donald raised his hands at her. "No, I didn't mean that!"

But she cut him off by yelling, "You think you're better than me because I'm fat?! I'm morbidly obese, which means I definitely must be a complete retard! You must be out of your damn mind!"

Donald whispered to Kevin, "Can you please help me out here?"

Kevin placed his hand on his shoulder and replied, "You're on your own."

He left his brother-in-law alone with the goddess of fat and fury. Thankfully, her fist didn't have the time to come in contact with Donald's face. Dinnertime had just started. Kevin could hear the poor little punching bag thanking God for helping him see the light.

Everyone collected their paper plates, formed a long line in the backyard, and put as much food on their plates as they could. This included pork chops, turkey legs, roast beef, Glamorgan sausages (a combination of eggs and cheese and breadcrumbs in the shape of a sausage), corn, mashed potatoes, egg salad, cornbread, and Aunt Lorraine's famous garlic cobbler. Seth had to hide under the table and, with lightning speed, grab anything he could touch on the surface and put it on his plate. He was fortunate to hide behind the long and wide tablecloth. In the meantime, Carolyn chose the largest turkey leg in the history of Rancho Santa Margarita, while middle-aged Keith kept his lit cigar between his lips, not even paying attention to the people behind him who coughed and waved away the smoke he kept exhaling.

When everyone walked past the bowl of garlic cobbler, Lorraine kept scratching her head. "I don't understand, ladies and gentlemen. Aren't you big fans of garlic?'

Everyone kept silent. Even Francis didn't want to savor a primary example of his sister's deficient talent.

Lorraine blurted, "Sure, keep ignoring my dish all you want! I'll never cook for you again!"

Everyone still kept their mouths shut.

Her snarky demeanor didn't change a bit. "I'll put a curse on all of you!"

Keith shouted, "I hope it involves a quick death!"

And then he started coughing aggressively after inhaling more smoke from his cigar.

Meanwhile, Brad couldn't find what he was looking for on the table. "Hey, where's the monkfish?"

Francis replied, "We decided not to serve it. We've already cooked enough food for tonight."

Brad refused to shut out his denial. "But I thought we would have monkfish. We don't have monkfish?"

Uncle Jeremy tried to calm him down. "I'm sorry. We'll make some next time."

Brad looked like he was about to shed a tear. "But I waited for monkfish for so long. I always love eating it at a time like this. It's a tradition. What just happened? Are we turning hipster or something?"

Francis grunted as he patted Brad on the shoulder. "Just shut up and enjoy the rest of the food, all right?"

"I'll try and survive, but I won't be happy about it."

By six o'clock, the sun no longer left a trace of its vivid luminosity, resulting in dark shades of blue and orange. Complete blackness enveloped the Santa Ana Mountains, its towering shadows looking quite the sharp contrast to the fading heavens. Back in the household, the reunion excelled in enthusiasm as family members either shared their current personal events or had long talks ranging from politics to video games. More classic rock blared on from the boombox situated near the patio doors. At one point, Kevin and Uncle Francis sat alongside Uncle Jeremy and Lonnie at one of the patio tables.

Francis had one look at Kevin's plate and asked, "Why isn't it filled to the brim like the rest of ours?"

"You know I don't like to eat that much."

Francis joked, "You'll be doing your inner man a disservice if you don't qualify for typical features like this one."

"I'll give it a day off."

Kevin noticed his uncle Jeremy whispering something in Lonnie's ear. Lonnie, in return, let out a soft chuckle. Kevin's curiosity reappeared in the shape of a casual conversation.

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