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  • A Clockwork Green Ch. 07

A Clockwork Green Ch. 07

123

I sip at the coffee in hand. Mondays are usually slow, and today is no different, but the boredom feels worse. More oppressive somehow. Before me on the table sit our outstanding invoices and bills. The pile seems interminable. We're losing money somewhere.

I sift through the pile of papers and pick one up to look at the final balance, but the numbers refuse to add up. They swim around before my eyes, defying logic and sense of any kind. Why am I failing at this so badly? This is supposed to be my way of contributing to the house! I can't fail at this! I let the paper fall from my hand while slamming the coffee cup hard on the table. The sudden noise in our otherwise-silent house puts a pain just behind my eyes. Great...

I have to get out of this rut somehow. Running didn't help this morning, but maybe sword practice will. Something has to... otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do! It feels like I'm going out of my mind. I take off my surcoat before picking up my sabre and heading outside.

My Old Friend feels light in my hand. Perfect and uncomplicated. He's never failed me before, and there have been times when he was the only thing that I could truly count on. Even when the Captain forbade me from going on jobs, there were still times when I was forced to rely on nothing but three feet of steel and reflexes. Slovenly drunks who took offense at my demeanor, or thugs looking to make an example of me because I looked 'like some friggin' faggot.' All of them looking for trouble, and all of them finding more than they bargained for. Grim memories...

I turn the blade over in my hand, studying the hilt for a few moments. It's ornate, and so very detailed. Runes and art intertwine and wrap around each other, creating wonderful designs while strengthening the imbuement that shimmers along the edge of the sword. I bring the flat of the blade to my forehead and close my eyes with a sigh. "No, you've never failed me, have you, Old Friend?"

I move to the center of our yard. This space was one of the things that drew me to this property in the first place. Plenty of room to practice my combat drills, and right now I need that practice to clear my mind.

The pit in my stomach churns, acid roiling discontentedly. My teeth grit in anger. I try to shake off the sudden swell of emotions in me and take a deep, steadying breath. My left foot slides back as I shift my body into a defensive pose, snapping the blade over my head and into a downward hold before launching into the first routine. The swings and strikes of my warm-up katas come fluidly, the imbuement humming as the blade slices the air as if in song.

That's right, Old Friend. Sing for me, please. You've always been there, haven't you? Even when the others in my life left me. Or betrayed me. The Captain, Jackson-

My foot falters, and I nearly trip. This isn't working. Normally exercise and training drive away such emotions, the rush of endorphins calming me and guiding me back to my center. Nothing I do quells this... uneasiness.

I close my eyes for a moment and inhale deeply to try to reset my state of mind before assuming my opening stance again. Just as I begin my opening swing, out of the corner of my eye, I see him. The oldest boy, Raphe. The population influx in our home was one of many things that caught me by surprise that night. Of all the kids, though, it was Raphe who kept my attention.

He sneaks along the wall, watching me intently while trying not to be seen himself. I have to admit, he's good. This one has potential. "Come out, Raphe. I know you're there." This is a welcome change. Maybe just the distraction I've been looking for... He steps boldly out from his hiding spot. Good, the shadows aren't for you little one.

"How long have you known I was there?"

"Since you first came out here." His face falls in disappointment, and I try to conceal my smile at the same time. "It's okay. You're not bothering me at all."

"You've...um. You've been doing that for a while, haven't you?" He licks his lips nervously as he gestures at my Old Friend.

"Yes. Since I was before your age."

"It shows." He nods and stares at the blade as if mesmerized for a few more moments before locking his gaze with mine. "I mean, you're really good."

"What if I told you I saw something similar in you?" I sheathe the blade and put a hand on his shoulder. He makes no effort to pull away from me like he did before. "I see a spark in you, Raphe. You're brave, you tell things how they are, and you love the others with all your heart."

"H-how does that mean that I could do the things you can?" There is doubt in his voice. It reminds me of when I first signed on with the Captain. A lifetime ago.

"It has everything to do with that." I smile and squeeze his shoulder gently. "Anyone can train to do the things I can do, but it takes heart to be a true warrior."

He cocks his head to the side, as if he doesn't understand.

"You love Sera and the others, don't you?"

The uncertainty disappears as he nods energetically. "Yes."

"You'll do anything for them? Fight for them?" I take a step back and turn away from him.

"Yes."

Putting my hands behind my back, I turn around and transfix him with a deadly serious look. "Die for them?"

He recoils from my gaze, but his voice is steady. "Hell yes I would." His determination sends a small thrill through my heart.

He starts to smile as I walk back to him, pulling him into a hug. "Then you'll make for a wonderful warrior. I can train you... if you want."

"More than anything!"

I can feel the ferocity in his soul, and I revel in it. A shaft of light breaks through the clouds. "Good. Your first lesson will begin-"

"Hey, Char, we have to go to an Ink shop."

No! Not now, not when things were looking up for me! Mackenzie is leaning up against the corner of the house, studying us both intently. "Then by all means go," I say. "You don't need me to come along."

"Regular place doesn't have it. I need something special to finish Mr. Whitaker' Followcar. Besides, I uh... I want you to come." I cast an icy glance over my shoulder at her, cutting off anything else she might have to say.

Raphe looks at me with a smile. "It's okay. I'll be around later. We can start when you get back."

I turn back to him and clap him on the shoulder. "Okay. You know Mackenzie and I are being looked for. Sera may be your leader, but you're the fighter. If something should happen to us, you take care of things, okay?"

"Come on, Char! We gotta get this done." Raphe starts back a little. Seeing his reaction, I make it a point to force a smile and nod at him.

"We'll talk later, Raphe." With that, I turn and head over to where Mackenzie is standing. "Come on. Let's go buy your crap and get back. I have work that needs to be done."

***

The ink shop, "McNulty's Magical Emporium", is only a short walk away from our home. Despite the grandiose name, it's little more than a hole in the wall. While I don't like going to such shops, the walks are usually rather enjoyable. Today is very much the exception, however. My head hurts, and it doesn't help that Mackenzie has been prattling on the entire time. She's being uncharacteristically sweet to me, and between that and my throbbing head, my nerves are starting to act up.

"So... I was thinkin'. Maybe we could go and get you a new pair of boots. Something to go with that blouse I bought you?" She grins unconvincingly at me, as if searching for some kind of approval.

"Uh huh." I don't even bother looking at her. The throbbing becomes a sharp pain.

And you've been doin' great at takin' care of the bills. I don't know what I'd do without ya."

"Mhmmm." I'm beginning to get really irritated now. It feels like she's buttering me up for something. A few more awkward moments pass between us, and I find myself hoping that she's gotten the hint.

"And you've been a champ about letting the kids stay with us. You're wonderful with them, and..." No, she sure hasn't. The pain spikes between my temples, causing the muscles in my jaw to tighten up.

"Char, are you listening to me? I said that I wanted to-"

"Mackenzie?"

She stops for a moment, looking at me oddly. "What?"

"Please be quiet."

The look on her face morphs from that funny expression to a scowl. "Fuck you, Char. I'm not gonna be-"

I finally turn to her, the ice in my glare making her visibly flinch. "Let me put this as simply as I can, Mackenzie. Shut it." She boggles at me, genuinely confused by my attitude.

"C-Cherry... I-"

"Look, my head hurts, I'm tired and I really don't want to be here." The confusion in her expression becomes one of hurt, now. "The shop is just a little ways further. Let's get your fucking inks and get back to work. I'd rather not waste any more time than I have to."

"... okay, Charlotte." She sounds so small, like a child that's just been scolded and is about to cry. While that may have been over the top, it achieves the effect I was looking for. Mackenzie doesn't say a word the rest of the walk there.

"Welcome to my Emporium! And how are you ladies doing today? Here for something special?" McNulty is a doddering old man, comically dressed as one of those fairy tale wizards straight out of a children's book. Blue robe with stars and a large pointed hat. I'm pretty sure if I looked hard enough, he'd have a staff around here somewhere. The whole thing is humorously hokey, and I might have even relaxed a little had it not been for what happened next.

A machine sits next to the front door, up on an end table out of the way. It looks like an orb about the size of a child's ball sitting on top of an ornate brass box, replete with nature motifs molded into the sides. The cursed thing begins to emit a horrific racket of sound coupled with a light show that sets my teeth on edge and does nothing for my headache.

"And I can see that I have some very special customers, too. Plenty powerful if my machine does that when they walk in." He winks at us. Mackenzie rolls her eyes. I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and finger, trying to will my headache away.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I need one 'a them ignis ink bottles, and two flame-treated brushes." She makes it a point to step around me and approach the counter, giving me a wide berth. "One ultra-fine and one fine."

"Yeah, I got those right here for ya, pretty lady." He looks her up and down, making it obvious what's on his mind. She pretends not to notice, so he turns his attention to me. "And what about you, lil' lady? Anything you need?"

My expression stops him cold. I slowly shake my head and silently mouth the word 'no'. I am not someone he wants to mess with right now. Thoroughly unnerved, he goes back to Mackenzie.

"Y-yup, I have exactly what you need. The gods told me that you were coming, so I had them laid out for you all right here!" He points to a neat stack of bottles in the shelf. "Yessir, my special machine confirmed it for me!"

Mackenzie snorts derisively. "The thing that made all that fuckin' noise? Sure it did."

"No no! I mean it. That machine right there spins whenever powerful people, blessed by the gods, come into my shop." He walks over to where it sits on one of the displays, patting it affectionately. "Here, let me show you."

Mackenzie frowns as he places his hand to her lower back and gives her a soft push. He takes a step back, surreptitiously sliding a hand into his coat pocket. I can't help but roll my eyes in disgust, even as the little globe spins on its axis for a few moments, twirling about as it begins to hover in the air. The closer she gets, the faster it goes. Why is she just frowning at it?

He smiles brightly as it works it's 'magic', beaming the whole while at Mackenzie. "See? What did I tell you? Powerful people like yourselves need more refined ingredients, and I happen to have just a full stock!" The thing is spinning like crazy, emitting a cacophony of offensive stimuli. Just what I needed.

"Oh, come off of it," I say. "You think I didn't see you digging in your pocket, looking for whatever it was that got this little bit of theater started? You're trying to swindle us!" I take a step toward him, menacingly. "You want to stop your little show, now?"

"Hey, I run a perfectly respectable establishment, here! I have no idea of what you're talking about..." He puffs out his chest, trying to intimidate me. Poor little fool...

"It is a damned con, Mackenzie! He's just using that silly thing to try and get more money out of us!" Angrily I snatch Bessie off of my belt and level her at the machine.

"Hey! Hey! What do you think-"

The sound of the shotgun blast fills the room. McNulty cover his ears and dives around a corner. Pieces of the machine scatter everywhere, ricocheting off the walls and bouncing onto the floor. The smoking husk whirls slowly, tragically.

"You're crazy! I'll call the watchmen!" McNulty yells as he uncovers his ears. "I'll -" Something cuts him off, and he's staring at my feet. "What in the hells is THAT?"

My eyes follow his gaze, and my breath catches in my throat. It's a flower. It's little, and frail, but a flower all the same. It's sprouting from a gap in the metal floor right between my feet. That wasn't there before... how did it appear so quickly? No, this is impossible. Nothing grows in New Verdia. This has to be another trick of his. I must have missed it somehow.

Mackenzie's face is a deathly pale as she looks at the little flower. Her lower lip trembles ever so slightly. "The grass..."

Grass? What is she talking about? Since when do we not tell each other everything?! So now she's hiding things from me, too? I can feel my blood pressure start to rise again.

McNulty shakes his head as if to clear his mind before going back to threatening us. "Whatever it is, you still owe me for the damage you did! And that's assuming I still don't get the watchmen! I'll make sure that you pay for-"

"You'll do nothing of the sort," I snap, taking another step towards him. "I wonder how they'll react when they discover some of the 'business practices' you've got going on here? A seedy place like this wouldn't last five minutes under official scrutiny." I hang Bessie back on my belt and cross my arms in defiance. "By all means! Go get the watchmen!" I stare him down as he stammers and fidgets, his bravado fading quickly under my icy glare. "Just as I thought." Mackenzie stares at me in shock as I pass her on my way out the door.

I lean up against a wall and close my eyes. My mood is absolutely foul now, despite all my efforts to turn it around. Just another con man trying to swindle people out of what little money they can scrape together in this gods-forsaken city. Isn't it bad enough that the upper classes squeeze us like a vice for whatever they can get without having to worry about it coming from the people that live with us?

And then that stupid flower. Just great. I-

"Char? Charlotte?"

Mackenzie is standing in front of me, fidgeting nervously. It reminds me of when she'd ask for me to read her favorite book to her. Normally I would adore that kind of behavior, but things are different. "What?" My flat response sounds strange even to my own ears. She winces, and I can't help but wonder just how ugly everyone else perceives me to be right now. I wonder, but I also don't care.

"I had to buy him off, but it should be taken care of. I even got the stuff we need." She straightens up, and I can see that she's trying to reclaim some of her lost confidence. "We should probably go, though."

"Fine." I walk past her and turn down the road toward home. She falls in step beside me, looking at me with a mixture of apprehension and worry.

"Sounded like Bessie was a little loud in there."

"What?"

Mackenzie bites her lip and looks down at my waist. "I-I..uh... I think Bessie could use a little tune-up. The reload cycle was... was a little loud. I could take care of it. Later."

"She's fine, Mackenzie."

"Char, about that flower. It wasn't there before. It-"

"I don't want to discuss it."

Her face screws in anger at being cut off. 'Well, I do! I wanna know what's going on here! I wanna find out what happened to us... why weird shit keeps happening around here!"

"All right. What do you suggest we do?" The exasperation in my voice is obvious, and she shakes her head.

"Maybe... maybe we should go see the P'fessor? She's smart. Maybe we could talk with her?" She smiles at me weakly. "Please?"

She's playing at being nice, now. It rings hollow for me, and it only makes me all the angrier. I stare at her for a long, hard moment before crossing my arms and putting my face in the palm of my hand. "Okay. We'll go to pay Annette a visit, then."

I can feel her put a hand on my shoulder, bringing me in for a hug. Something inside me just... just snaps. Anger that has been on a slow boil all morning now comes to a head. After the way she treated me, the things she said... she doesn't deserve to just sweep it under the rug to call it well and done!

How do you like staring at other women now?

Quicker than she can react, I take hold of her wrist with my right hand and snap it hard so that it's bending back against her forearm at a very unfortunate angle. She cries out and drops to her knees as I use her own momentum against her.

"Charlotte! W-what the fuck?! This hurts!" Her face is a mixture of pain and surprise as she looks up at me.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I hold her there for effect, rubbing her predicament in her face. "After how you've been treating me lately, you don't get the privilege of being that familiar with me. Do you understand?"

Realization dawns on her face, and she looks at me with sad eyes. If she had suspected what this was about before, then there was no remaining doubt now. She says nothing to me as she looks into my eyes, searching for a way to break through the wall I've thrown up against her. Well, guess what Mackenzie? You can't fix this like anything you've fixed before. You may not even be able to fix it, period.

"Say you understand," I growl.

"A-all right. I understand." She's defeated, now. I can hear the resignation in her voice as she turns to look away from me. The fact that she accepts this should be a warning bell to me... she wouldn't, normally. My angry side does nothing but gloat at humiliating her. Now maybe she feels a little of what I've been feeling.

I release my grip on her and start to walk away. "Get up. We're going to see Annette now."

***

The trip to Annette's house is painfully quiet. Neither of us say a word to each other as Mackenzie pilots the skiff. I'm standing up at the front, looking out over the horizon and making it a point to ignore her. Before, she was the one pushing me away. I remember feeling so helpless and hurt when she was doing it to me, and I had thought it a cruel thing. Now that I am the one doing it, it feels even worse. The irony is not lost on me. Something inside me pleads for me to turn around, to make it better and to make up with her. This isn't you, the voice tells me. But then images of Sera and that night crash in like a wave, drowning the voice in a flood of pain. No, she hurt me. Just as she was punishing me earlier, I am punishing her now.

Soon enough, I can make out the house in the distance. Maybe Annette will have the answers we are looking for. Maybe she can tell me why my life has suddenly gotten so screwed up within a short space of time... although I doubt it. I just know I need to talk to her, if for no other reason to confide in her regarding this pent up anger. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a mother.

123
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